DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every Mother’s Day for the past eighteen years, my sisters and I went to our mother’s house and got her garden going. She had THE best herbs and vegetables, which she grew since I was a little kid.
She would always share her “harvests” as she called them with her kids’ families and her neighbors, who she was the first to help out whenever they needed anything, from babysitting to covered dishes when someone was sick or there was a death in the family.
She was an incredible woman, and when we lost her last year, it felt like the heart of our family was cut out.
This year one of my sisters suggested we each start a garden like Mom’s in her honor for Mother’s Day. She said it would make Mom proud and we would be setting an example for our own grown daughters and young granddaughters to follow for generations to come.
While it is a beautiful idea, it is not as easy for me physically as it was even a year ago, due to health issues, none of which, thank goodness, my sisters suffer from.
Not going along with my sister’s plan makes me feel guilty, and I know my sisters think I am being difficult or although they wouldn’t say it, selfish, but I feel I can honor my mother’s memory in other ways, which I already have plans to do.
Doesn’t that seem reasonable to you? --- WILL HONOR HER IN MY OWN WAY
DEAR WILL HONOR HER IN MY OWN WAY: While your sister’s proposal for a way to honor your mother sounds lovely, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t do what works best for you to likewise cherish her memory.
It sounds like your mother was a kind and generous person, so I’ll venture a guess that her family keeping her in their hearts — in whatever way works best for them — is an absolutely appropriate and loving tribute to her.