DEAR ABBY: You have printed some "You know you are getting older when" letters recently. I recall that you had a piece or two in your column on the same topic some years ago, and that they were very amusing. How about printing them again? -- JOSEPHINE MULLIGAN FROM MONTANA

DEAR JOSEPHINE: What a memory! Yes, that topic appeared in the column 10 years ago. Read on:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN ...

-- You know all the answers but nobody asks you any questions.

-- You get winded playing checkers.

-- You need a fire permit to light all of your birthday candles and you need oxygen after blowing them out.

-- You order Geritol on the rocks.

-- You sink your teeth into a thick steak and they stay there.

-- You stop to think and sometimes forget to start again.

-- You don't need an alarm clock to get up with the chickens.

-- Your pacemaker opens the garage door whenever a cute gal goes by.

-- The only whistles you get are from a tea kettle.

-- A fortune-teller wants to read your face.

-- You finally get it all together, but can't remember where you put it.

-- You pray for a good prune-juice harvest.

Fortunately, today's seniors are more fit and youthful than ever before, so these may no longer be true. Read on:

-- Everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

-- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.

-- Your little black book contains only names ending with M.D.

-- You look forward to a dull evening.

-- You join a health club and never go.

-- You need your glasses to find your glasses.

-- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. -- Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.

-- You have too much room in the house, and not enough in the medicine chest.

-- YOU WONDER WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T USE THIS SIZE PRINT.

Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I get a kick out of the items you occasionally print about how you can tell when you're getting old. I think this is a good one: You know you're getting old when you bend down to pick something off the floor, and before you straighten up you ask yourself, "Is there anything else I can do while I'm down here?" -- LESS LIMBER IN FALLBROOK, CALIF.

DEAR LESS LIMBER: Thanks for the chuckle. People over 40 will identify with it -- once they straighten up.

DEAR ABBY: Your entertaining messages about "You know you're getting older when ..." remind me of one that recently brought me to a sudden reality: You know you're getting older when you introduce your son to someone as, "My son, the grandfather!" -- CHARLES J. COOK, MIDLOTHIAN, VA.

DEAR CHARLES: That's great, Great-grandfather! Congratulations on the new arrival.

DEAR ABBY: I got married six months ago and am now getting an annulment. I never got around to sending thank-you cards. What is the appropriate thing to do with the wedding gifts? -- FREE AGAIN IN BEVERLY HILLS

DEAR FREE AGAIN: Without going into detail, write each gift giver and explain that your marriage is being annulled and thank him or her for the lovely gift. If the gift is unused, offer to return it.

P.S.: I hope your next relationship is everything this one was not.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Concerned in California," regarding her fears about her child drowning while visiting relatives who have unprotected swimming pools, prompted me to write. Her fears are well founded. You were on target telling her that her sister and ex-husband were ignorant about child safety.

As mothers -- and emergency flight nurses with 30 years of combined experience -- we can testify that any unfenced pool in the vicinity of any child is a prescription for tragedy. It does not matter that a child knows how to swim. "Swimmers" drown every day.

Statistics collected by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission paint a frightening picture of childhood drownings and swimming pools:

-- 77 percent of the drowned children had been seen five minutes or less before being missed, and subsequently discovered in the pool.

-- 69 percent of the accidents occurred while one or both parents were responsible for supervision.

-- 65 percent of the accidents happened in a pool owned by the child's family.

-- 39 percent of the supervisors were doing chores.

-- 18 percent were socializing.

-- 9 percent were busy on the telephone.

Thank you, Abby, for letting us share this information. -- MICHELLE WILT, RN, KATHLEEN O'BRIEN, RN, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR MICHELLE AND KATHLEEN: I hope your sobering statistics will serve as a warning to parents, relatives and caregivers of children everywhere, especially those in warm climates where swimming pools are common.

And thank you for sending me the following list of "Drowning Prevention Tips for Pool Owners," published by the National Network of Trauma Professionals. Read on:

1. Never leave a child unattended in the water or pool area for any reason.

2. Always keep your eyes on the child or children. Designate a child watcher, whether you or someone else, when you attend a party or have friends or family over.

3. Talk with baby sitters about pool safety and supervision.

4. Post rules such as "No running," "No pushing," "No dunking" and "Never swim alone." Enforce the rules.

5. Don't rely on swimming lessons or "floaties" to protect your children in the water.

6. Don't assume that drowning or a drowning incident couldn't happen to you or your family.

7. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security just because you think your pool area and home are secure. Always watch your children, whether in the house or outside.

8. Attend a CPR class. Make sure your baby sitter knows CPR.

9. For the nearest cardiopulmonary resuscitation class, contact your fire department, Red Cross or hospital.

10. Encourage your neighbors to follow pool safety guidelines, including keeping their back gates and doors locked, and their pool gates securely closed and latched.

DEAR ABBY: You may relate to this. You realize you're getting old when you notice a nice-looking, gray-haired man and realize that he's probably young enough to be your son. -- HELEN FOWLER, ASHEVILLE, N.C.

DEAR HELEN: Right! Or you notice that touch-ups have gotten expensive.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, a mother of a disabled child sent you a moving essay, "Welcome to Holland." It became one of my most treasured pieces, but unfortunately I have lost my copy. Could you please reprint it for me and your readers? -- A GRANDMA IN NASHVILLE

DEAR GRANDMA: With pleasure. I am frequently asked to reprint the essay written by Emily Perl Kingsley, a wonderful mother whose child had Down syndrome. October is National Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and this essay is dedicated to the parents and grandparents of all children who cope with disabilities.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability -- to try to help people who have not shared the unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this ...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip -- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. Michelangelo's "David." The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. You must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Readers, this is Abby again: For information about Down syndrome, and to be put in touch with local Down syndrome organizations, write to the National Down Syndrome Congress, 7000 Peachtree-Dunwoody Road NE, Building 5, Suite 100, Atlanta, GA 30328-1655. Its hotline -- (800) 232-NDSC (6372) -- also offers a wealth of information on any subject related to Down syndrome. A telephone call can provide you with that difficult-to-find information or assist you in establishing contact with other parents of children with Down syndrome. The Web site is: www.ndsccenter.org.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)