DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are the parents of two beautiful children, ages 6 and 7. My husband was divorced twice before we married. There were no children from my husband's prior marriages, and he has no contact with his former spouses.
I think we need to tell our children about his prior marriages in the next year or two, because his older nieces know about the divorces and could tell our children. My husband feels there's no need to tell the children unless they ask us directly.
Should we tell our children about the prior marriages, and if so, at what age? What can we say to them so that they won't be upset or feel insecure because of this family secret? Please advise. -- WHAT TO DO IN TENNESSEE
DEAR WHAT: Tell them now. Don't wait. When more than two people know a secret, it is no longer a secret. Since extended family members know about the prior marriages, the news should come from you and your husband rather than someone else. It would be wrong to keep this "open secret" from the children whom it will potentially affect the most. If they hear it from a relative, they may wonder how many other secrets have been kept from them. Don't worry about how to phrase it. Just say it took two strikes before Dad was able to hit a home run.