DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Out-of-Work Mom," who was disturbed because she was rejected by potential employers when they noticed her pierced tongue and multiple ear piercings.

Just as her piercings and tattoos reflect her personal style and values, a business owner's employees reflect his or hers. Like it or not, customers judge the business by the appearance and behavior of the frontline employees. It makes sense that an employer will hire those who present themselves in a way that's compatible with the image the business owner wants to project.

If she really wants to find employment that will help her provide well for herself and her daughter, "Mom" should consider leaving her individuality at home. (I wish you well, Young Mother.) -- AN OLDER MOTHER IN TEXAS

DEAR OLDER MOTHER: That letter generated a flurry of mail. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Someone should inform "Out-of-Work Mom" that many people do base their attitudes on first impressions. Is she big enough not to cop an attitude when that happens? I agree that she has every right to pierce whatever she wants -- but if she can't stand the backlash, she shouldn't blame it on others. The choice was hers. -- PREVIOUS EMPLOYER IN MICH.

DEAR PREVIOUS EMPLOYER: I agree. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: As a job interviewer, if that young woman walked into my office with a tongue ring, the interview would be over. Not because I think a tongue ring is freaky, but because I think it is inappropriate for a job interview -- as are shorts, jeans, transparent clothing, T-shirts and visible underwear.

Experience has shown me that every time we have made allowances for an applicant's odd behavior in a job interview, we have gone on to have performance problems with that employee. -- SERIOUS INTERVIEWER, SILVER SPRING, MD.

DEAR INTERVIEWER: In fairness, not all employers are as rigid in their thinking as you. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Your response to "Out-of-Work" was a little outdated. I am a newspaper reporter with a pierced tongue. Like several other professionals here, I wear my piercings to work.

Fortunately, my employers looked at my skills and professionalism, not at the metal stud in my tongue -- which I wore to my interview and was hired anyway. Wish "Out-of-Work" luck for me. -- PIERCED BUT PROFESSIONAL IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PIERCED PROFESSIONAL: You are not the only pierced professional who piped up. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Tell that young woman to take heart. I am the administrative assistant to the Canadian president of a large U.S.-based company, and I have had my tongue pierced for almost a year now. My boss wasn't aware my tongue was pierced until I told him one day, three months after I was hired.

Times are changing, and "conservative" companies must get with it or they'll miss out on some talented employees over a couple of little pieces of jewelry. -- MOM IN TORONTO, CANADA

DEAR MOM: You could be right -- but judging from the mail I received from the business world, you are fortunate to have a very liberal employer. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: When I was barely 18, I, too, got a tattoo. For my 40th birthday, I treated myself to a full physical. When the doctor saw my tattoo, she asked how old it was and had I ever had a hepatitis test. Well, I tested positive for antibodies to Hep-B. My doctor assured me that it wasn't a death sentence, but advised that I never donate blood. It's a shame, because with my blood type, I would have been a universal donor.

My message to young people: Get vaccinated and keep your tattoos and piercings in perspective, or to yourselves. -- TATTOOED INTERVIEWER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TATTOOED: Good advice. I hope that those who need it will "get the point."

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am an ophthalmologist who specializes in the treatment of diseases of the retina -- which is the "seeing tissue" of the eye. You cannot imagine how frustrating, disheartening and sad it is to see patients on a daily basis who have vision loss from the effects of their diabetes. In many instances, I am the person who must inform them that they may not get their vision back and eventually they will become legally blind.

The reason I am frustrated is because I know that if these patients had only come in earlier, or exercised better control of their blood sugar (glucose) levels, blood pressure and cholesterol, most of their visual loss could have been avoided.

Please, Abby, remind your readers with diabetes that by maintaining control of their blood sugar they can reduce visual loss. Every patient over the age of 30 who is diabetic should have an eye exam as soon as he or she is diagnosed and a yearly exam thereafter. Diabetic eye disease does not cause pain and it must be treated early, while vision is still good, to avoid serious loss of sight. With proper care and attention, blindness -- one of the most devastating complications of diabetes -- can be prevented. -- DAVID S. BOYER, M.D., DIRECTOR, AMERICAN DIABETES ASSOCIATION OF L.A.

DEAR DR. BOYER: Thank you for an important letter. I was shocked to learn that an estimated 16 million people in the United States have diabetes, and one-third of them do not know they have it. While diabetes affects people of all ages and ethnicities, diabetes is more prevalent in minority communities -- especially Hispanics, African Americans and American Indians.

However, regardless of ethnicity -- if there is a history of diabetes in the family, an annual physical examination and an eye examination by a medical doctor are a must. The sight you save, and the quality of life you improve, could be your own.

DEAR ABBY: The letters from "Furious in Adrian, Mich.," the 14-year-old whose ex-boyfriend wrongly claimed to have had sex with her, and "No Big Deal in New Jersey," who suggested telling people, "... he tried, but he was sooo small ..." reminded me of an episode on the sitcom "Welcome Back Kotter."

A pretty girl in class was rumored to be promiscuous. All the guys bragged about sleeping with her at one time or another. Her solution: She announced that she was pregnant and was going to publicly reveal the identity of the father of her baby in class the next day. By morning, not one male would admit to ever having slept with her, with one exception. The character Horshack -- the class nerd -- proclaimed that he was the father and would marry her if she would have him. He probably couldn't even spell S-E-X, let alone get a date with a girl. But he was determined to do "the honorable thing."

If "Furious" would announce that she was pregnant and that she was bringing a paternity suit against her ex-boyfriend and his parents, I think he would stop the lying. -- TAMMY IN FLORIDA

DEAR TAMMY: But what if he didn't? Some misguided young men are under the impression that fathering a child makes them appear manly -- although nothing could be further from the truth. "Furious" has enough problems already without spreading a false rumor that could backfire.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: My parents have been divorced for six years. I am 11, and I have a sister who is 15.

Since our parents divorced, my sister and I fight a lot more, but I still look up to her for everything. Mom's and Dad's sides of the family constantly question us to see which one is better. Without my sister telling me what to say, I might say the wrong thing.

I love my parents, but I hate it when each of them asks questions about the other instead of enjoying our company. It's just not fair. What do you think? -- SICK AND TIRED OF FIGHTING, GREENVILLE, TEXAS

DEAR SICK AND TIRED OF FIGHTING: I sympathize with your predicament. No one wants to be caught in the middle, and to put you there at your tender age is very unfair. Your parents -- and many others -- could benefit from the following list of "Do's and Don'ts" for divorcing couples with children that appeared in my column years ago. Read on:

First, the DO's:

-- Do allow your children to ask questions about your divorce. It's unfair to make them feel like outsiders.

-- Do answer all their questions about your divorce as truthfully as possible, without making the other parent the "heavy."

-- Do remember that your children need the love of both parents.

-- Do assure your children that they are not to blame for your divorce.

-- Do encourage your children to talk freely about their feelings -- even if it's painful to you. Bottling up emotions is even more damaging to children.

-- Do have a special place for your children's toys and belongings during visiting time. It will make them feel more at home.

Now, the DON'Ts:

-- Don't badmouth the other parent to your children, or to anyone else in their presence.

-- Don't send messages to the other parent through your children.

-- Don't ask your children to keep secrets from your ex-spouse.

-- Don't be overly generous (or less strict) in an effort to win your children's approval.

-- Don't tell your children what to think or feel. They are entitled to their own thoughts and feelings.

-- Don't try to pump your children for information about your ex-spouse. -- BEEN THERE IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR ABBY: I'm only a kid, but I really need your help. I want a dog. A collie. They get along with other animals and don't need a lot of exercise. The problem is that my parents hate dogs.

They say I can have as many dogs as I want when I grow up, but I can't wait that long. Almost everyone I know has a dog. I have $375, so I can afford to buy one and pay for its food and shots. Abby, how can I change my parents' minds? -- DOG-DEPRIVED IN DENVER

DEAR DOG-DEPRIVED: There is no way I can change your parents' minds for you. If I could, I would. However, if you volunteer at an animal shelter or local veterinarian's clinic, you could fill some of the void you are feeling.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)