DEAR ABBY: May I share a pet peeve of mine? I wish you'd raise the consciousness of people who write obituaries and fail to mention the musician who provides the music for the funerals and memorials. The musician often does more preparation for the services than the pallbearers. Why are their names omitted? I usually want to know who they are when I attend. -- WONDERING IN GEORGIA

DEAR WONDERING: I can think of a couple of reasons. The first is that some obituaries are actually taken from the eulogy, which may have been written prior to the death by someone in the family. If the obituary was written by an employee of a newspaper, the information may have been taken as part of a standard list of questions about the deceased and any survivors.

Frankly, I think it would be more suitable if the musician's name was included on the program. If it hasn't been included, there is nothing rude about telling the officiant or a family member how much you enjoyed the music and asking who provided it.

DEAR ABBY: Our 7-year-old grandson has been a handful since he was able to walk. He has been sneaky and has told lies for as long as any of us can remember. He has been suspended from school more than 10 times for various things. He stole several hundred dollars from his mom's purse and took it to school so he would have money to buy snacks. He stays awake longer than everyone else in the house so he can take things and hide them in his closet.

He knows what he does is wrong, but it doesn't bother him. He is also abusive to his disabled sister. It is hard to imagine that a 7-year-old could give hate-filled looks that you don't even see from adults. I'm afraid at the rate he is going, he will seriously hurt someone or be hurt himself.

He also has a very big heart. That is why we don't understand what is going wrong in this little boy's head. Please help if you can. -- GRANDMA OF A BULLY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR GRANDMA: Your grandson's behavior may have something to do with the fact his disabled sibling needs more of his parents' attention. Or he may have serious emotional problems. The boy needs to be evaluated by a mental health professional so his parents will understand what's driving his behavior, and it can be addressed. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and a few months ago I made the mistake of taking and sending nude photographs to my boyfriend. An adult co-worker, "Jim," got the photographs without my knowledge or permission and showed them to my other co-workers, including managers. Jim threatened to continue showing the pictures around unless I did him a "favor."

Out of distress, I quit my job, not realizing that managers had seen the photographs. I now know they were aware of the situation, but did nothing. How should I approach the situation? It would be very bad if my parents found out. -- FACING THE CONSEQUENCES IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FACING THE CONSEQUENCES: You now know why it's a bad idea to send nude pictures, because once they are out of your control, anything can be done with them. While this is embarrassing, you should absolutely tell your parents what happened because they may want to take this matter to their lawyer. Your former employers ignored sexual harassment, attempted coercion and blackmail. If it can be proven, they should pay the price for it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and come from a devout Roman Catholic family. My parents have taken my brother and me to church every Sunday without fail my entire life. We pray before meals, before school, at bedtime and at other times every day. My room is filled with religious objects. As far as I know, everyone else in my extended family is equally fervent.

My problem is, I have never felt very religious. Since I was 10 I have challenged the teachings of the church and, as I mature into adulthood, I'm beginning to identify as agnostic. When I told my parents, at first they were angry and disappointed. Then they told me I was "just going through a phase." I know this is more than a phase. It's a personal belief of mine they have been trying to bury my entire life.

I can't continue letting them ignore the real me. The stress of constantly having to lie to my parents about my faith is tearing me apart to the point that it interferes with my schoolwork and social life. How can I convince them that this isn't a phase, and that I'm not the Catholic girl they want me to be? If they continue to refuse to acknowledge my religious beliefs, who can I turn to for support? -- AGNOSTIC IN STOCKTON, CALIF.

DEAR AGNOSTIC: Your parents should not have minimized your feelings by saying they are only a phase because it was dismissive. That said, you must not allow their devout faith -- and your lack of it -- to become a contest of wills or a basis for argument.

This is an important time in your life with your parents as you enter adulthood. Thank them for the great foundation they have given you. Tell them you hope they will continue to love you as you explore what your beliefs are on this spiritual journey -- because it is a journey.

The opposite of faith is not doubt; it is certainty.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Molly" and I have been good friends for two years. But this year at school she has gotten new friends, and our relationship is slowly fading away. I'm not sure what to do. Should I wait and see what happens later on down the road or talk to her about it? Please help me. -- LEFT OUT IN CEDAR RAPIDS

DEAR LEFT OUT: What you're experiencing is painful, but it is also a part of life. The fact is, friendships don't always stay the same or last forever.

Your idea of talking to Molly about this is a good one because you won't be left wondering what happened or blame yourself. But you should also explore ways of making new friends. If there are after-school clubs, special interest groups or other activities you can join, they will give you the chance to meet new people. By staying busy, you won't miss Molly so much, and may even form more long-lasting friendships.

DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married next year. I am very excited to be marrying my fiance, a kind and caring man. But I am not at all excited to go dress shopping. What should I do? -- NO-FRILLS GIRL IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR NO-FRILLS GIRL: No law says you must go dress shopping for your wedding if you don't want to. Tailor your wedding to your own tastes, and make it simple and casual. It's your day, so do what feels right for you.

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old daughter, "Erica," is planning to marry her 24-year-old boyfriend. I use the term "boyfriend" loosely because their relationship consists entirely of texting, talking on the phone and the Internet. There has been no dating or getting to know each other in person. Erica is intent on marrying this man even though he has lied to her several times in addition to having lied to us. She is planning to attend a four-year college.

I'm not sure how to handle this. She hid the relationship from us for more than six months. I realize Erica needs to make her own mistakes, but I'm not sure how to make her understand my very real concern about this.

I have raised other children who went through various phases of teenage rebellion, but we were able to reach a general compromise on all types of behavior. However, she is unwilling to discuss the possibility of waiting. Any advice would be appreciated. -- NEEDS HELP IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NEEDS HELP: If Erica were my daughter, I'd suggest that because this relationship is so serious it's time you both paid a visit to her intended. Assuming her father is in the picture, he should be there, too. The subject of who will be paying for college should be discussed, and whether Erica will be able to continue her education if she should become pregnant. It may give her a glimpse of exactly what she's letting herself in for before the wedding.

Of course the three of you will want to meet as many of his family and friends as possible. Because Erica won't listen to reason, perhaps seeing will bring her back down to earth. This will also give you (all) a chance to find out what else her "boyfriend" may have been lying about, including his age.

DEAR ABBY: What do I do about my husband's cruelty to our cat? My children love "Miss Kitty," but their dad kicks her and terrorizes the poor little thing to the point where I don't think I can protect her any longer, especially when I'm not home.

I have told the kids that Dad is wrong and not to be like him, but I'm afraid eventually they may think it's OK to mistreat animals. What should I do? -- CALIFORNIA ANIMAL LOVER

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Find Miss Kitty a good home ASAP! Your husband appears to have sociopathic tendencies. Does he exhibit them in any other ways? A man who mistreats animals might also abuse children if they should get in his way or he is in a bad mood.

Of course, your children will be upset when you give their beloved pet away. Explain that it had to be done because she wasn't safe around their father.

DEAR ABBY: My sister informed me today that her children have registered at Toys R Us, and has instructed me to purchase only the toys on their registry for Christmas! Apparently, this is the new way to shop.

Abby, I have never told anyone what to buy my kids, and I'm appalled by this new idea of a Christmas registry. I try very hard to buy great Christmas gifts that my loved ones will enjoy. Am I wrong to think this is rude? -- APPALLED SHOPPER

DEAR APPALLED: I agree your sister's request is presumptuous. But I suppose a Christmas registry is a natural progression from wedding and baby registries. There wouldn't be a Toys R Us registry if it wasn't a successful sales tool for people who don't like to shop. Because you are not one of them, and Christmas shopping brings you pleasure, I suggest you do as you wish.

P.S. Let's see how Sissy responds when you let her know you have adopted her idea and will register at Tiffany's on your next birthday.