DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 13 years. Early on, we struggled to have children and needed reproductive specialists in order to have our two beautiful girls, ages 4 and 8.

During my wife's second pregnancy she had mini-strokes. We were advised against another pregnancy, which surprisingly happened two months ago. Faced with the difficult decision of continuing the pregnancy and risking my wife's health, or ending the life of a child we would never see, know or raise, we chose the latter.

My wife feels I'm not grieving because I'm trying to show little, if any, emotion. I assure you I hurt inside enormously. How can I reassure her of such, while trying to be a "strong man"? And how do we avoid the stigma associated with our choice by those who may have known about the pregnancy? Never has the quote "Don't judge people until you have walked a mile in their shoes" rung so true. -- DAD OF 2 FLOWERS AND ONE ANGEL

DEAR DAD: I'm sorry about your loss, and for the pain you and your wife are experiencing. However, while I appreciate that you are trying to be strong and put on a brave face, that may not be what she needs right now. A grief therapist could help you two reconnect on an emotional level and communicate your feelings more effectively with each other.

As to your worries about "stigma" for ending a pregnancy that put your wife's life at risk, there shouldn't be any. While bringing a new life into the world is wonderful, your wife has a greater responsibility to her two little girls. They need their mother -- as do you.

If anyone has the gall to make a negative comment, her response should be that the pregnancy was terminated because her doctors told her that carrying it to term might have resulted in her death. Anyone who would judge your wife after hearing that isn't worth her time or yours. Trust me on that.

DEAR ABBY: I was at my eye doctor's yesterday, sitting in a small waiting room waiting for my eyes to dilate. There were five of us in there, quietly thumbing through magazines or listening to a TV on a low volume.

A woman in her 20s walked in and joined us. No sooner did she sit down than her cellphone rang. For the next half-hour she proceeded to talk loudly. I was so annoyed and distracted it was all I could do not to grab that phone out of her hand. Other people looked her way, but no one said anything.

There was no sign requesting people to turn off their phones. Abby, what can be done about cellphone rudeness? -- MIFFED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MIFFED: Someone should have gotten up, complained to the office manager that the extended phone call was intrusive and disturbing everyone, and suggested that a sign be posted telling patients that cellphones are to be used only in emergencies.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13 and I'm afraid I may have OCD. I want to find out, but what's standing in my way is that sometimes my parents think I make stuff up to get attention. I'm afraid to tell them, but I know if I do, it will answer my question. Can you give me some advice? -- ANONYMOUS IN OHIO

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Be brave and talk to your parents about your fears. They are your best friends, and you should be able to talk to them about anything -- particularly anything that bothers you. However, before you do, make a list of the behaviors that cause you to think you may have OCD, and when you approach them, read them what's on it. That way, if you become nervous, you won't forget anything.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and her boyfriend have been dating for three years. They are now in their first year of college and she gets upset when he texts other girls and Snapchats them. He makes her feel like she's overreacting, but I can understand her fears that he is being unfaithful. What do you think about social networking and how it can affect relationships and even marriage? -- WISE MOM IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR WISE MOM: If someone wants to be unfaithful, social networking makes it easier than ever. But men and women who are ready to settle down and make a commitment do not look for outside adventures, no matter how they go about it.

If your daughter is insecure about what her boyfriend is doing, she may have good reason. If she's right about her hunches, the time has come for both of them to meet and date other people. Because she has spent so much of her teens with only this young man, the prospect may frighten her. But please explain that this will be her chance to mature and grow. As a "Wise Mom," I'm sure you can get the message across.

DEAR ABBY: My children were over at my in-laws' recently. When we came to pick them up, they told us their cat had scratched our son. Sure enough, there were five scratch marks on his face, circling his left eye.

In the past we have recommended they have the cat declawed so this wouldn't happen. They told us that cats can make mistakes just like kids do. We do not share their opinion. Would it be unreasonable to not allow our kids to be over there unless they declaw that cat? -- "DISCATIFIED" IN WISCONSIN

DEAR "DISCATIFIED": Cats do not normally "attack" children out of nowhere. Before you insist they declaw their pet, perhaps you should investigate what led up to your child being scratched. Could your child have done something that caused the animal to react defensively? If that might be the case, then your son should be taught about the proper handling of animals, because declawing a cat is not minor surgery. It's like having the tips of one's fingers amputated, and some cities have outlawed the practice.

DEAR ABBY: How much interest in an adult child's sex life is normal? My mother seems obsessed.

I hooked up with a girl a couple of months ago on a Friday. She spent most of the weekend with me. We both knew it wouldn't go further than that.

It turns out she works with my mom, who by chance found out about the weekend. Mom has been interrogating her for every detail every chance she gets, and she likes to drop details into my daily life to embarrass me.

How much interest is a parent supposed to show? Mine knows my favorite position and intimate interests. -- EXPOSED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR EXPOSED: It seems your mother is not only nosy, but also has a sadistic sense of humor. She's getting a kick out of embarrassing you.

Tell her to lay off because what she's doing is inappropriate, and it's making you uncomfortable. If she can't respect your wishes, then realize it's time you put some distance between you and Mama. And to prevent this from happening in the future, find out more about the chicks you hook up with because this last one sings like a bird.

DEAR ABBY: The holidays will soon be here, and so will something that may seem petty, but really irks me. My friends have a large home with plenty of room, so they usually host the holiday dinners. We -- the guests -- supply a few side dishes to accompany the meal. I usually bring several "sides" because I like to cook and I enjoy variety.

My problem is presentation. I bring my sides in nice casserole dishes and do my best to make them look appealing. Because I'm not particularly artistic, it takes some effort. When I arrive with the food, my hosts unceremoniously dump it into disposable aluminum containers, wash my dishes and put them aside.

I hope I don't sound picky, but even when I have asked that the items be served in the dishes I brought, the hosts say, "Oh, this is easier." I have said I don't mind bringing home dirty dishes, but my wishes are ignored. Am I being petty? -- FRUSTRATED GUEST IN NEW YORK

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I don't think your feelings are petty. Having put as much effort as you have into making the food you're preparing look as appetizing as possible, it's understandable. However, because this is a recurring annoyance, consider preparing this year's contributions in disposable aluminum pans. That way, your creations won't be "dumped."

DEAR ABBY: My wife is a neatnik who always finds extra or unexpected things to do before meeting me at the car, in the TV room, etc. It means I always must wait for her before going anyplace.

I have asked her a thousand times to avoid doing "one last thing" before coming to meet me. How can I appeal to her better nature to avoid tending to every tiny detail before joining me? Or am I being too impatient? -- WAITING FOR YOUR ANSWER

DEAR WAITING: I'm sorry, but I can't give you an unbiased answer because I am guilty of the same thing, and it makes my husband crazy, too. (I suspect your wife and I are not the only women who do this.)