DEAR ABBY: I'm pregnant with my first baby. I use Facebook to update my family in another country about my pregnancy and the little milestones that have happened. But when I do, my cousin "Rita" takes it upon herself to turn every status I post into something about her and her daughter. I feel like she's trying to one-up me or divert attention away from my child. We come from a big, tight-knit family and until now, her daughter was the baby of the family.

Rita has been doing this for months now, and I'm starting to get annoyed. How can I tell her politely to please stop stealing my thunder and turning everything into something about her? -- ANNOYED IN THE WEST

DEAR ANNOYED: Whether she's doing it consciously or not, it does appear that Cousin Rita is competitive with you. It would be interesting to know if she has always been this way.

You can't stop her from competing, but you can develop a sense of humor where she's concerned. Her bids for attention are really rather sad, and once your baby arrives, he or she will be the baby of the family -- until Rita becomes pregnant again, that is. (I'm tempted to start the countdown now.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I divorced because of another woman. I took it hard, but after a year or so, I was OK.

Fast forward to 2013: He shows up on my doorstep, needing food and shelter, so I took him in (he's still the father of my children). Now I can't get rid of him!

He's trying to show me he's changed. If I didn't know him, I'd think he wasn't the same man at all. I need to know if this is an OK situation for me to be in, because well-meaning friends and family tell me he won't change; he'll leave again. (I say, "As long as he abides by the terms of the divorce, so what!")

I don't care if he sees other people; he's my ex. As far as I'm concerned, he's just renting a room in my house. But I need to know -- am I hurting the kids by letting him stay? He seems to get along better with them now than he ever did, and I'd be renting that room to someone else if it wasn't him. As far as I'm concerned, better the devil you know than the one you don't.

Am I doing the right thing? And if so, how do I get well-meaning people to stop lecturing me? -- LANDLADY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LANDLADY: I can't see how your ex living in the house would hurt the children -- unless he suddenly disappears from their lives again. His presence there, even as "only a renter," may lessen your chances of finding a serious romance again, because few if any men welcome courting a woman under these circumstances.

However, if you are happy with things just as they are, then when the unwelcome lectures start, all you have to do is tell the well-meaning lecturers that you know what you're doing and to please pipe down. The arrangement you have with your ex may work better for both of you than the marriage did because it appears he is always on his best behavior.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

DEAR ABBY: You mentioned in a recent column that few people write to follow up on what happened since their original letter was published. You printed mine April 1, 2001.

I am "Hurting in Houston," the son who, with his partner, was suddenly no longer welcome in his parents' home after they moved to a retirement community, because they were afraid their neighbors would shun them if they discovered they had a gay son. You advised that I should live my own life and, maybe, someday they would come around -- and that is what I did.

After a number of years, I received a call from a sibling informing me that my father was ill with only a short time left, and I should fly to their city to see him. I asked if I was wanted, and he said, "It doesn't matter, just come!" So I swallowed my pride, flew there and made my way to the hospice house.

Although my mother received me well, Dad did not, and we never had a good moment before he died a few days later. I told my mother I was staying for the funeral whether she liked it or not and had my partner fly in.

After the service there was a gathering at my mother's house with all their friends. I introduced my partner to them and everyone was as kind as could be. Many mentioned their own gay siblings or relatives.

When the event was over, my mother said, "Wow, this has all been pretty silly, hasn't it?" It was such a colossal understatement that I could not find words to respond.

Ten years have passed; my mother is now in hospice care with only a short time left. We have built a great relationship, and she loves my partner of more than 20 years very much. We are glad to be able to be there for her.

Much has changed in the world over these years and the acceptance of gays has been remarkable, but for me, having these last years with my mother's love will be a comfort I can hold onto for the rest of my life.

I have no great moral here, I just wanted to let you know what has happened. Thank you, Abby. -- NO LONGER "HURTING IN HOUSTON"

DEAR NO LONGER HURTING: And thank you for letting me and my readers know your story has a happy ending. I couldn't be more pleased to know you are doing well.

In case you didn't see it, there was a follow-up column regarding your letter that was published May 24, 2001, in which a family in California offered to adopt you and your partner! PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) was mentioned in that follow-up and is still an excellent resource for building bridges of understanding in families. Find it at pflag.org.

DEAR ABBY: I am the caregiver for my husband, who is in a wheelchair and has to be helped when using the bathroom. When we are out in public and he needs a bathroom, should I use the handicapped stall in the men's or take him into the women's? Unisex restrooms -- one big room that can be locked -- are wonderful. -- CAREGIVER IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CAREGIVER: I agree, but not all buildings and businesses provide unisex restrooms. If none is available, then the rule of thumb is the disabled person should use the restroom of his/her gender -- in your case, the men's room.

DEAR ABBY: I was divorced three years ago and have had a boyfriend, "Roger," for a year and a half. He is seven years younger, and he's intrigued with women on the Internet.

He saves tons of photos of these girls on his cellphone. These ladies are "perfect." They have big breasts and curvaceous behinds, etc. I have had two kids. I'm not overweight and I exercise and keep myself in shape, but I have a "Mom body."

Roger has told me he loves my body and everything about me. But the feeling I get is that he wishes I looked like those girls.

I have asked Roger not to save these photos because it makes me insecure. If he's going to look, fine. But saving them is another thing. He promised me he wouldn't, but some of them are still there. So he not only makes me feel like a fatty, but he lies to me, too. He has more pictures of other girls than he does of me.

Now I no longer feel comfortable undressing in front of him. I leave my clothes half-on and turn out the lights when we have sex. He has made me unable to stand myself. What do I do? -- CAN'T COMPARE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAN'T COMPARE: The first thing to do would be to stop looking at your boyfriend's cellphone. Then ask yourself whether he has been seeing other women or just collecting pictures. If it's the former, you have something to worry about. If it's the latter, it's no reflection on you, and he has voyeuristic tendencies (men are visual).

Stop making comparisons. He says he loves your body. Unless you have a solid reason to think differently, believe him.

You are overdue for a frank talk with Roger, and when you do, tell him everything you have written to me. Your problem may go deeper than his photo gallery and your lowered self-image. If you can't trust what he tells you, the foundation of your relationship isn't solid.

DEAR ABBY: I'm carrying a heavy burden concerning my 14-year-old grandson. He told me in strictest confidence that he had sex with a 14-year-old girl. I have been his male support system, mentor, adviser, disciplinarian and friend for 12 years because his father is rarely in the picture.

He swore me to secrecy, which I want to respect, but I'm torn about telling my daughter. She has a right to know that her son is sexually active and needs closer supervision. We discussed condoms (they used them), accidental pregnancy, possible criminal charges and responsibility, but I think he is more proud than alert to the possible consequences.

If I share this with my daughter, I break a long-held trust. When I urged him to tell his mother, he refused. What do I do? This is tearing me up. -- KANSAS GRANDPA

DEAR GRANDPA: Without betraying the confidence, start talking to your daughter about how, at 14, her son is fast becoming a man with all that it entails, including raging hormones. Then suggest she have some frank talks with the boy and keep a closer eye on him, unless she wants to become a grandma before he's out of high school.