DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are retired. Everything was great until about six months ago, when things radically changed.

The issue is I stopped shaving every day. I did it when I was working, but I don't feel the need to do it now. My wife strongly disapproves. She claims my unkempt appearance is a direct, negative reflection on her. I feel it reflects only on me.

I have told her I will shave prior to any social engagement we both attend, as well as public events like civic club, etc. The guys I play cards with also go unshaven.

My wife has threatened to cancel card games with friends, cancel our weekend trip to her brother's birthday celebration, cancel our upcoming European river cruise, refuses to kiss me and said some things I can't repeat. Is there anything I can do to appease this lady I love dearly? -- LAID BACK IN MICHIGAN

DEAR LAID BACK: One thing comes to mind -- you could shave.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old boy in ninth grade. I have depression, and I don't know what to do. I always feel like I'm not good enough for anything, even though I have had a 4.0 GPA since seventh grade. I have repeatedly cut myself, but I wear a bracelet so no one can see it.

I don't want my family to find out because I'm afraid they will treat me like a poor little kid who is too easily offended. I don't know what to do or who I can go to for help. Thank you for any help you can give me. -- DROWNING IN DESPAIR

DEAR DROWNING: When a person is experiencing so much emotional pain that he (or she) is self-injuring, it's time to get professional help to deal with it.

Ideally, you should be able to talk to your parents about the depth and duration of your depression. But because you feel you can't, talk with a trusted teacher or counselor at school about it, or an adult relative you feel close enough to confide it to. Cutting is not the answer because it only brings temporary relief from the issues you have that need resolving.

I care about you, and I'm glad you asked me this question. Please don't postpone following my advice.

DEAR ABBY: I am a server in an upscale restaurant. Part of my job is refilling water goblets, which shouldn't be stressful except that almost all of our customers place their smartphones right next to their glasses. If I should make a slight mistake and accidentally drip water on these expensive devices, you know what would happen next. Please ask your readers to keep their smartphones off the table! -- CAREFUL SERVER IN BETHLEHEM, PA.

DEAR CAREFUL SERVER: I'm glad to ask, but many readers regard their smartphones as extensions of themselves. Convincing them to cooperate would be like selling them on amputating a finger. Of course, the lesson would be learned if the diner accidentally tipped over a water or wine glass because there would be no one else to blame. But in the meantime, it's important that when you pour, you do it VERY CAREFULLY.

DEAR ABBY: I am wondering why pregnant women these days don't wear smocks like we all wore years ago. While I do think pregnant women are attractive, I really don't want to see their swollen bellies. Wouldn't it be better to just "imagine" what is under that smock or long skirt? Does anyone agree with me? -- DOROTHY IN WASHINGTON

DEAR DOROTHY: Some readers may agree, but I'm pretty sure most of them won't. You are harking back to the days when people were embarrassed about the subject of sex, and used euphemisms like "in a family way" or "a bun in the oven" to describe pregnancy.

Women today are proud to show off their silhouettes. In fact, I saw a woman recently sporting a T-shirt with an arrow pointing downward and the words "Baby on Board." While this may seem to be somewhat "in your face," I think it's healthier than pretending there's nothing going on when the expectant mother is in her seventh month and it's obvious there is.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 21 and a college student. My mother recently came to visit me and took my boyfriend and me out to dinner. After we were through eating, we sat across the table from my mother and engaged in post-dinner chatter. I draped my arm around his neck and began playing with his ear. It was absent-minded, and I thought nothing of it, but my mother stared from across the table shocked.

She later told me that ear fondling is not appropriate in public. I was taken aback. Isn't it OK to play with my boyfriend's ear in public? Does it make people around us uncomfortable? -- EAR SNUGGLES IN VERMONT

DEAR EAR SNUGGLES: Playing with someone's ear could be considered foreplay, and seeing it certainly made your mother uncomfortable. Perhaps among your contemporaries it would be acceptable, but as a general rule, it's better to keep intimate gestures of affection private.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to offer a reminder so people won't have to experience what I am right now. Please take a few minutes to go through your wallet and make photocopies of everything in there. Put the list somewhere you can easily find it. That way, if your wallet is lost or stolen, you'll know what was in it.

I did that years ago, but I didn't keep it current and now I'm upset with myself. Some time over the weekend I misplaced my wallet. Luckily, I don't keep my ID and debit cards there, so at least they are safe. But because I use my wallet so seldom, I'm unsure what was in there.

If people make copies of everything in their wallets, it will be easier to report and replace the things should the need arise. I am so bummed out right now. While I lost only $30, I lost a treasured photograph of my daughter, and I can't remember what other cards may have been in there. -- FUMING IN LUTZ, FLA.

DEAR FUMING: I know from personal experience how frustrating losing a wallet can be, so thank you for wanting to remind readers how important it is to copy documents or credit cards they carry with them. It takes only a few minutes, and the peace of mind it brings is worth the effort.

DEAR ABBY: Due to various anti-drug lectures he was exposed to at school, my 13-year-old son believes that marijuana is not only illegal, but also is very bad for you. He said it is poison.

My state has recently legalized marijuana and I am at a loss about how to explain to him that pot is no longer "that bad," as people partake of it in a responsible manner going forward. Any suggestions? -- COLORADO MOM

DEAR MOM: Marijuana isn't poison, unless it was sprayed with a poisonous chemical before being harvested. The marijuana being sold to adults in the states where it is now legal has been carefully cultivated and harvested. Its use is not encouraged among teenagers, however, because research has shown it can impair brain development among young people.

Stress to your son that like alcohol, marijuana can slow reaction time and impair judgment and memory, which is why it's illegal for minors to use it. Whether it will become legal across the nation is still an open question. If it's abused the way that alcohol sometimes is, smoking weed may also be harmful because, like any smoke, it poses a risk to the lungs.

DEAR ABBY: I moved into my boyfriend's home several months ago. In the beginning, he was very attentive and we had fun together. But over the last couple of months, he has become abusive and unbearable to live with. He orders me around and double-checks to make sure I'm doing things "his way."

I feel as though there isn't room to breathe and no way out. I have lost weight, and I'm having trouble sleeping now. I have no family or friends who can help me out. I want to end this misery! But how? -- MISERABLE IN FLORIDA

DEAR MISERABLE: Pick up the phone and call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233). Although your boyfriend's controlling behavior hasn't yet escalated to physical abuse, it very well could. The counselors at the hotline can help you to formulate a plan so you can safely get away. Please don't wait to make the call, because the symptoms you're having are ones of extreme stress.

DEAR ABBY: We live in a small town. My husband is friendly and outgoing and seems to know everyone. We can't go anywhere without running into someone he knows. Meals out that should be quiet affairs turn into social situations I do not want to be part of.

I have wracked my brain as to a polite response to people when they say, "Join us!" I don't WANT to join them. How do we politely decline their friendly offer? -- "NOT TONIGHT" IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR "NOT TONIGHT": A polite way to refuse would be to say, "We'd love to do that another time, but it has been a long day and we just want to sit and be quiet." It wouldn't be considered rude unless you say it often.

If these people are friends, they should understand because not everyone is up for company all the time. It is also understandable if a couple has things they need to discuss privately.