DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old woman who has never had a boyfriend or been kissed. I was never interested in romance or having a significant other. I felt strong being independent and taking care of myself. Now that I have a degree, a career and a house, I feel ready to try to let a man into my life.

I met a really nice guy a month ago. "Brian" and I have gone out several times and have a lot in common. He's a gentleman, and he says he's willing to wait for me.

I have been having a difficult time letting myself be physical with him. Even hugging is uncomfortable for me. I know it's because I have been a shy loner my whole life and I'm unaccustomed to being close to people.

Even though Brian says he'll be patient, I can sense his frustration. Physical closeness should come easily if you like and are attracted to someone. I feel abnormal. I don't know if I'll be this way forever or get more comfortable the more I know him.

I'm afraid Brian -- and most men -- won't be willing to wait that long. I'm afraid if I don't move faster I'll lose a great guy and never get another chance. What do you think? -- BLOCKED IN BOISE

DEAR BLOCKED: Being intimate with someone because you're afraid you'll lose him or it will be your last chance is the wrong reason. I think that the sooner you talk with a licensed therapist about your lifelong shyness and discomfort, the quicker you can understand the reasons for it and overcome it. Your doctor should be able to refer you to someone.

If Brian is the right man for you, he will stand by you. But if he doesn't, you'll be able to more easily relate to someone else.

DEAR ABBY: I am planning my wedding in the fall. My fiance and I are paying for the wedding and reception.

I have worked at my job for a year, and I haven't always been treated well by a few co-workers. I am reluctant to invite these people because I'm worried about the repercussions if I do. I know they will judge every aspect because they did it to another co-worker.

I like a few of the people I work with, but I don't know if I can invite only them. What do I do? -- WEDDING PLANNER IN OMAHA

DEAR WEDDING PLANNER: What you do is invite only those people you truly want to attend your wedding. It's not necessary to apologize for it or to explain why. If you are put on the spot and feel you must give a reason, say that your guest list is limited because of financial constraints. It's far more tactful than saying they are being excluded because they are rude, awful people, and you don't want them anywhere near you on such an important occasion.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a divorced woman with grown children. I have always supported gay rights and thought of myself as straight. But a few months ago, I met a woman, "Stephanie."

We hit it off immediately, and I was shocked to learn she's a transgender woman who was born male. We have spent a lot of time together and are falling in love. Stephanie will be having surgery soon to complete the transgender process.

I have been surprised and disappointed by the lack of support from my family and friends, whom I always thought were open-minded. Some have voiced support, but have shown no interest in meeting her and seem uncomfortable hearing about her.

I'm excited about this relationship and would have thought my family and friends would be happy for me, as I have been alone for a long time. But now I find myself refraining from mentioning Stephanie in conversation.

How can I discuss her with others? We are taking things slowly and not jumping into anything, yet we can definitely see ourselves spending the rest of our lives together. We have already faced disapproving strangers and handled it well. -- LOVES MY FRIEND IN OHIO

DEAR LOVES: It appears Stephanie isn't the only one in your relationship who is in transition. Both of you are, and because it is new to those around you, they may not understand it -- which is why they are uncomfortable.

The fact that Stephanie is transgender should not be mentioned right off the bat. It is not the most important thing about her, and it should not be her defining characteristic. Discuss the matter with your friend and ask how she would like to be introduced and referred to. It's only logical that this will vary according to how close these people are to you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother who has had my share of heartbreak. I was with "Kent" for almost two years. We moved in together and talked often about marriage. Things were going great, but then he lost his job. After that, finding and keeping a job became harder and harder for him.

One day when I came home from work, all of Kent's clothes were gone. He said he had moved back in with his mother because he didn't feel comfortable with me paying all the bills. He assured me he still wanted to remain in the relationship, and once he could keep a steady job he'd move back.

Three months later, he broke up with me. The following week some mutual friends told me he had gotten married!

When I confronted Kent, he told me he still wants to have a sexual relationship with me. I refused and haven't spoken to him since. Yesterday I learned that I am pregnant with his child.

I am turned upside down without a clue what to do. Is it wrong to feel hatred for him? -- BETRAYED IN TEXAS

DEAR BETRAYED: Under the circumstances your feelings are understandable. Now, here's what to do. Contact Kent AND his wife and tell them the "happy" news that he is going to be a father -- and you expect him to shoulder all the responsibilities that go with it. Then talk to a lawyer to be sure he does.

DEAR ABBY: My mother committed suicide when I was a child. She was severely depressed, and although she sought professional help, the worst happened.

When conversing with acquaintances, the subject often turns to family, and I will say that my mother "passed away" when I was young. Most of the time they proceed to ask me how she died.

Abby, this is a personal family matter. I do not wish to reveal what really happened. I usually reply that she was very ill, but some nosy people persist in pressing for more information. How should I respond without being rude? -- LOYAL OHIO READER

DEAR READER: You're under no obligation to reveal personal information that makes you uncomfortable. Simply say, "That's a very personal question, and I'd rather not discuss it." Then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: Since when has it been considered OK for women to be in men's dressing rooms in department stores? I have seen a lot of this during the last year.

I'm not a prude, and I understand that most men change in private booths, shielded from view of strangers. Still, I am disturbed when I come out of the smaller booth and find women hanging around in the dressing room.

In many cases, I have heard women actually IN the booths with men who are getting dressed, giggling -- or, even more annoying, shouting out orders about sizes, styles, etc. Men are not allowed in women's dressing rooms.

When I have expressed my concern to salesclerks, they look at me like I'm crazy. Am I the only one who thinks women do not belong in men's dressing rooms? -- CIVILIZED SHOPPER

DEAR SHOPPER: I don't know how long it has been between shopping trips for you, but your thinking is outdated. Today some stores have unisex dressing rooms, and men's and women's departments employ both male and female sales associates. It is not unusual for couples to shop together -- and if something doesn't fit, for the spouse to go and find something in the correct size.

While you may not be the only one who thinks women don't belong in men's dressing rooms, I believe you are in the minority.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 46-year-old female cancer survivor. My hair used to be long, thick and naturally wavy. Because of the high-dose chemotherapy and radiation to treat my lymphoma, I lost all my hair. It has grown back, but it's thin, spotty and ugly. I have tried everything on the market, including foams, sprays, expensive hair clubs, etc., but nothing has worked.

Recently I started wearing a wig. It is natural-looking and stylish, and I feel confident again. I get lots of compliments on the cut and color.

My question is, when people ask who my stylist is, I'm not sure how to answer. I have been referring them to a friend who is a stylist, but I feel dishonest. However, I don't want to reveal my secret. What would you do? -- UNDER THE RUG IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNDER THE RUG: Talk to the person who styles your wig for you and explain that you are receiving many compliments. Ask if you can refer other clients -- but express that if you do, you would like the fact that you wear a wig kept strictly confidential. That's how I'd handle it. Hairdressers are privy to secrets of all kinds, and they're very good at keeping them (with rare exceptions).