DEAR ABBY: I'm writing to support "Feeling Coerced in San Diego" (Feb. 14), who is uncomfortable attending church with her husband. I understand her feelings because I, too, am an atheist in a relationship with a religious man.

There is another option besides abstaining from church or attending only on major holidays, and that would be for "Coerced" and her husband to try a different church. One religion that embraces atheist church members is Unitarian Universalism.

UU congregations are often made up of people from different backgrounds -- Christian, Jewish, atheist and more. The focus of the sermons is on living a good life, treating other people and our planet with respect, and following one's own path to spiritual enlightenment. It's likely that "Coerced" and her husband could both feel at home in such a congregation. -- CHELSEA IN WICHITA

DEAR CHELSEA: Thank you for your suggestion -- it's one that was echoed by many other readers. I have mentioned the Unitarian Universalist denomination and its website (uua.org) before in my column. Readers' comments were enlightening:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, am in a "mixed marriage." I'm religious and my husband is an atheist. We agree to disagree on the matter. Religion (or lack of it) is a very personal thing, and however we feel, we owe each other respect for our different views.

"Coerced" is great for trying to accommodate her husband, but now that they see it didn't work, he should stop pressuring her. She can refrain from going to services, but should consider attending the church's social events. This solution worked well for us. My husband and my church friends get along well.

Of course, this depends on the nature of the church. Mine happens to be one of the more progressive. It's worth a try. -- KATHRYN IN OTTAWA, CANADA

DEAR ABBY: I knew my husband was atheist when we married. Our spiritual journeys are different, and we're not going to change each other.

We agreed I would raise our kids Catholic. I never expect him to be at church with us on Sundays, but on important sacraments (baptism, first communion, confirmation), he is there with the whole family because he realizes these events are important for his kids and me. He has become friendly with some of my clergy and fellow congregants, who accept him for the wonderful person he is.

Maybe in the future "Coerced" could attend an event like a church spaghetti dinner, something outside of services, and get to know the people her husband spends time with on Sunday. And he could spend a weekend doing a silent hiking retreat with his wife and her friends.

Respecting each other's spiritual path is a first step toward appreciating each other's differences and growing together. -- BLESSED IN OREGON

DEAR ABBY: "Coerced" is lucky to have a man who attends church and wants her to go, too. She might consider helping in the nursery. That way, she's there with him but doesn't have to listen to the message. Churches are always looking for help so parents can actually attend the service. -- LAURA IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We live together, and his child from another woman lives with us. I love my boyfriend and his child, but one thing prevents me from imagining us being married: He has his child's mother's name tattooed on his body.

The tattoo bothers me for many reasons, and I'd like him to have it covered up if we ever do marry. He says he doesn't want to get rid of it. When the topic comes up, we argue.

Am I unreasonable for wanting him to get rid of the tattoo? If that woman really is in his past, why does he need a constant reminder of her on his body? -- IN A STINK OVER INK

DEAR IN A STINK: You're asking the wrong person. Only your boyfriend can answer that. He may not want to go to the expense, or to experience the pain of having more artwork done. Or he may not like the idea that you are telling him what to do.

However, if he has been living with you for two years, I doubt it's because he's still carrying a torch for someone else. If you love him and the two of you want to get married, my advice is to accept him warts, artwork and all, because regardless of any romance in his past, YOU have habeas corpus. (That's Latin for "you have the body.")

DEAR ABBY: I consider myself a social person and enjoy talking to friends on the phone. My problem is, when I talk to one of them, she will never let me get off the phone. Sometimes we'll talk for several hours, but eventually I have other obligations and have to go. When I tell her that, she often ignores me and keeps right on talking.

I don't want to be rude, but sometimes I have to say goodbye four and five times before she finally acknowledges that I must end the call. It irritates me. I like talking to her, but I can't go on and on forever. How can I make her let me off the phone without hanging up on her or upsetting her? -- MR. NICE GUY

DEAR MR. NICE GUY: The person you're describing obviously has less going on in her life than you do. She may also be a compulsive talker.

The next time you talk to her, make the conversation face-to-face and tell her that as much as you like her, you don't have the amount of time to spend on the phone that she does. Explain that when you tell her you must end the conversation, if she doesn't stop talking within five minutes, you will have to hang up. And then do it.

Will she like it? No. But the alternative is that she will continue to take advantage of you -- which she has been doing because you have allowed it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for three years and have two beautiful children. Shortly before our first child was born, my in-laws bought a new camera. They bring it along to every visit and constantly take pictures of all of us. Neither my husband nor I likes having our pictures taken. My in-laws have thousands of pictures of all of us already.

The biggest problem is that they don't have a relationship with their grandchildren because of this. They complain that the kids "don't like them." They feel they should therefore visit more often, but in reality, these visits consist of nonstop photo-snapping, and no quality time is spent with either of the children. How do I make this stop without causing problems? -- OUT OF FOCUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR OUT OF FOCUS: A diplomatic approach would be to suggest to your in-laws that they "shoot" only for a limited time when they visit -- no longer than the first 10 minutes. Explain that you realize the kids are growing and changing quickly, and you understand their desire to record all of it, but the children need a deeper kind of interaction with their grandparents in order to form a positive bond with them. Then suggest some ways they can relate to the little ones after the camera is put away.

If they balk, tell them the reason their grandchildren don't seem to like them is that children need face-to-face and eye contact, and the camera has prevented it from happening. If they're smart, they'll listen.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 43-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with a man I dated many years ago, "Charles." When we reconnected three years ago, I had a dog, "Frosty." One year into the relationship, Charles asked me to get rid of Frosty because he thinks dogs are unsanitary. I loved Frosty and kept him, but it caused all kinds of problems with my boyfriend.

When Charles and I moved in together three months ago, he insisted I get rid of Frosty and I caved. I miss my little friend so much it hurts. Memories of him are everywhere. I am able to get him back, but is it crazy that I would jeopardize my relationship because I want to keep my dog? -- IN THE DOGHOUSE

DEAR IN THE DOGHOUSE: I don't think it's crazy, and I'm sure my animal-loving readers -- who number in the millions -- would agree with me. People bond with their pets to such an extent that in the event of a natural disaster, some of them refuse to be separated from their companions.

That Charles would insist you get rid of Frosty shows extreme insensitivity for your feelings, in addition to disregard for your beloved pet in whom you had a significant emotional investment. Could Charles be jealous of the affection you have shown Frosty? Not knowing him, I can't guess. But if you are forced to choose between the two of them, you should seriously consider choosing the dog.