DEAR ABBY: I was invited to my first prom yesterday. The boy is a senior and the son of a friend of my mom's.

We have a lot in common. We have been friends for years and compete against each other in academics. The problem is, he asked a close friend of mine to go to the prom last week, and he did it right in front of me.

My friends, including the girl who said no, keep telling me he really does like me, even though I was apparently his second choice. The trouble is, I already said yes and I don't want to go back on my word. How do I keep myself from feeling like a consolation prize? -- SECOND BEST

DEAR S.B.: The boy who asked you to the prom wants to have a good time. As you said, you are friendly and have a lot in common. Please don't let the fact that he asked your friend first get in your way. It's not a contest for anyone's affection; it's only a dance.

DEAR ABBY: I met an amazing lady. She's beautiful, sexy, charming, attentive, classy, smart and conservative. In short, she is almost everything a good man would ask for in a woman except for one thing -- she's a tad clingy, and in some instances, it is annoying.

I'm the type of guy who loves my space. She seems to respect it, but gets a little down when I decline an offer to spend time. To avoid hurting or offending her, I sometimes just do whatever will make her happy, although it feels like a chore. Don't get me wrong, I'm physically and mentally attracted to her, but I'm not sure about the emotional part.

The more I feel I'm forcing myself to spend time with her, the more I lose interest. I know this is cliche, but I honestly feel that it's not her, it's me. Am I just not ready to settle down? -- LIKES MY SPACE

DEAR LIKES: That's what it sounds like to me. And that's what you should tell the lady, because someone with all the wonderful qualities you attribute to her won't be alone and heartbroken for long. In fact, if she knew that you feel you must "force" yourself to be with her, your relationship would already be history.

DEAR ABBY: In June of last year I fractured my kneecap. I was employed at the time and asked my daughter to fill in for me while I recuperated. Not only did she walk away from the job, she has yet to visit or even call me to see how I am doing.

I can't imagine anyone being so cold and distant. It hurts me to this day. How can I get past this hurt and disappointment? -- STILL HURTING IN PALM DESERT

DEAR STILL HURTING: I can't imagine anyone being so cold and distant -- not to mention irresponsible -- unless there were unresolved issues between the two of you before you hurt your knee, or your daughter has emotional problems.

How do you get past something as painful as this wake-up call has been? The first option would be to try to understand what has caused your daughter to act the way she has. Another would be to fill your days with enough activities that you don't have time to dwell on it.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I go to visit my mother (in another city) every other month or so, my brother and his wife insist on coming over to see us while we're there. Our visits usually last two or three days.

Many times when they come over, my sister-in-law will start doing her exercise routine, including floor exercises, which are, in my husband's and my opinion, unbecoming and inappropriate to do in front of other people.

How do we deal with this? Are we crazy to feel awkward when she's lying on her back doing these pelvic thrusts? Would it be out of line to ask her NOT to do this in the future?

My brother says, "She won't listen to me, so it wouldn't do any good to talk to her," so we know talking to her won't help. What do you suggest? -- FEELING AWKWARD

DEAR FEELING AWKWARD: Here's how I'd handle it. Talk to her anyway, and ask her to please refrain from doing these exercises in your presence because it makes you uncomfortable. But if that doesn't work and she starts "performing," stand up and say, "Hey, folks. Let's go out for a walk (or coffee, or a sandwich)," and put an end to her bid for attention that way.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend will have "scheduled" sex with me -- only after he has had his shower in the evening or in the morning. Every once in a while I get lucky and am able to stop by after work and have a quickie. It's driving me crazy.

I have tried many ways to get him to have sex spontaneously, but he won't budge. It's starting to be a turn-off because it's not the "right time." What do I do? -- LOOSER THAN THAT IN DETROIT

DEAR LOOSER: Your boyfriend may have a touch of OCD, or need to feel "in control" when he has sex. In other words, if the encounter is not his idea and at the time he chooses, he doesn't get turned on.

There's help for him if he's willing to admit there "may" be a problem. But if he isn't, then find yourself another fella because nothing is likely to change.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is being married in September. I am in the wedding. My wife and I are having a baby in June, but the bride does not want to include my new baby. I think she is concerned people will pay attention to the baby and not her.

Many distant relatives will attend and this may be the only time they will see my son. She plans to invite more than 200 people. Am I right to be upset that my son, her nephew, is not invited? -- JOHN DOE IN PLANO, TEXAS

DEAR JOHN DOE: I don't think so. It's the bride's day, and you should abide by her wishes without complaining. If she prefers not to have her wedding disrupted by an infant who needs feeding or changing, it's her choice.

Because you want to show off your new baby, bring along pictures and pass them around. I'm sure the relatives will be thrilled to see them.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I speak English as our native language. I also speak other languages fluently, although my wife does not.

When we travel to a country where I speak the language, she insists I speak only English. She says everybody in the world now speaks English and accuses me of showing off when I converse with a local in his or her language. She says it makes her uncomfortable.

I realize many people in other countries speak some -- or even a lot of -- English, but many do not. What do you think? -- SPEECHLESS IN ATLANTA

DEAR SPEECHLESS: Much as your wife might wish it, not everybody in the world speaks English. That you are able to speak to individuals in their native language is a tremendous asset when you travel. It makes for a warmer welcome and a fuller experience wherever you go, and I hope you will continue to use the skill you have worked to acquire.

However, to carry on long, involved conversations while your wife just stands there is rude, and if you find out that the person with whom you are talking also speaks English, you should make an effort to see that she is included.

DEAR ABBY: I was born with a very weak heart. At the age of 23, I went into heart failure and needed surgery. It has been two years since my open heart procedure, and it has changed my life for the best.

As a young, semi-attractive male, I feel insecure about my scar. I went to the beach with friends, and so many people looked at my scar I got uncomfortable and put my shirt back on for the rest of the time. I haven't gone back to the beach since. And in situations where guys go shirtless, I wear mine even over the protests of my friends.

I can't get over the scar. I feel like I'm disfigured. Any advice on how I can deal with this huge change? -- SELF-CONSCIOUS IN GEORGIA

DEAR SELF-CONSCIOUS: Because you're sensitive about the scar, perhaps you should talk to a plastic surgeon about your options in having it reduced. However, in my opinion, you are not "disfigured" -- you are ALIVE. You fought for your life and won.

Few people get through life without some "battle scars." Since you can't change the fact that it's there, consider changing the way you think about it. In a way, it's your medal of honor. Scars have been known to fade with time, and so does self-consciousness.

DEAR ABBY: My grandson will be getting married in Chicago. What's the appropriate dress code regarding wearing pantyhose these days? It seems everyone you see in a dress is bare-legged. I want to be comfortable, but also appropriately dressed. -- BEST-DRESSED GRANDMA

DEAR GRANDMA: It depends upon how formal the wedding will be and whether it will be held indoors or outside. If it's outside and informal, and the weather is hot and humid, you could go bare-legged. However, if it's indoors and the attire is dressy -- and you want to maintain your reputation as "best-dressed granny" -- hold up your "end" and wear pantyhose.