DEAR ABBY: I have two children who are not yet old enough for school. My mother-in-law watches them for free a few times a week. She has been "trying" to quit smoking for the last couple of years.

Nine out of 10 times when I take my children to her, she asks me to bring her a pack of cigarettes. I feel obligated to do it because she watches my children for free.

I know I'm not doing her any favors, and I have asked others how I should handle this. They say I should make excuses like, "I don't have any money with me," or, "I forgot to get them." I figure there's only a few more years before she won't have to watch my kids, so after that, I'll never feel obligated to bring her smokes again. Any advice? -- SMOKED OUT IN WISCONSIN

DEAR SMOKED OUT: Yes. When you are done reading this, go online and see what the American Cancer Society and the American Lung Association have to say about the effects of secondhand smoke on children. Then, rather than lie to your mother-in-law, the next time she asks you to bring her a pack when you drop off the kids, summon the courage to tell her no because it isn't healthy for your children.

DEAR ABBY: I have an attractive friend who was bypassed for a front-office promotion. "Miranda" is pleasant, clean, efficient, energetic and had the same qualifications as the individual who was promoted. A management team member confided that the reason for Miranda's lack of advancement "might" be due to the numerous tattoos -- difficult to cover -- on her arms and wrists, which the manager said isn't the image the business wants to convey.

Is this discrimination? I think it's unfair because Miranda is a good worker. She keeps asking me if I have any ideas why she was bypassed. Should I tell her? I don't want to violate the manager's faith in my confidentiality, even though I will be retiring soon. -- LOYAL FRIEND IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR LOYAL FRIEND: Your friend's obvious tattoos prevent her from presenting the corporate image your employer prefers be conveyed to clients who visit the front office. To my knowledge, people with tattoos are not members of a protected class, which would put an employer at risk for a discrimination suit.

Because Miranda continues to ask why she wasn't promoted, and you have nothing to lose by telling her what you were told, I think you should level with her. She might prefer to work at a company where her chances for advancement aren't stymied.

DEAR READERS: I would like to wish a Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers, and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent fathers. LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl and I need my own bedroom. Ever since I was born, I have shared a room with my 17-year-old sister. Maybe it was OK when we were younger, but now it is impossible. It's crowded and annoying. I have no privacy, and I can't decorate it how I want.

What makes this worse is that we have an extra room. My parents refuse to consider it and won't give me a reason. It has gotten so bad I have moved into a closet. Every time I walk into my room I get a headache. I never hang out there anymore. Please help. -- IN THE CLOSET IN N.Y.

DEAR IN THE CLOSET: Your parents may be hoping you can come to a truce with your sister without having to sacrifice their guest room. If you feel your bedroom is crowded, it must be the same for her. If a truce isn't possible, then you will have to continue hanging out in other parts of the house.

Although it may be inconvenient for you, your sister can't help that she exists, and the sooner you accept it, the sooner your headache will lessen. As to redecorating the bedroom to suit your taste, be patient awhile longer. At 17, your sister should be nearly out of high school. In another year she'll be 18, and the room will be all yours if she plans on going to college or finding a job, roommates and independence.

P.S. At that point, don't be surprised if you miss her.

DEAR ABBY: A friend I have known for about 10 years messaged me again tonight saying she was going to commit suicide. I tried to get her to go to a hospital, but she refused. When I told her I was going to contact the police, she backed down a bit. This has become an almost-nightly occurrence.

She's going through a rough patch right now. She's breaking things off with her drug-addicted longtime partner. She is also underemployed, in danger of being evicted and has cancer.

It is tough on me to talk her down from the ledge every night. Many of her problems are of her own making, but she can't seem to see that. She can't afford therapy. I have taken her to Al-Anon, but she quit after a short time.

I don't know what to do. I hate to break it off with her because I'm afraid she will kill herself. I am the only friend she has left. How much longer do I hold on? -- SUCKED DRY IN KANSAS

DEAR SUCKED DRY: Because your friend is calling nightly threatening to harm herself, it appears she is using you to vent. That's all right if it's consensual and you have the emotional strength to handle it. If you don't, and because you describe yourself as emotionally depleted ("sucked dry"), I'm advising you to start screening your calls. I'm not advising you to shut her out completely, but to allow yourself not to answer your phone unless you are feeling up for it. And if she threatens suicide again, follow through on contacting the police.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a married father with a son 19 months old, and a baby girl on the way. While I couldn't be more excited about my daughter's impending arrival, I'm unsure about whether there is a right time to stop doing things like changing a diaper or seeing my daughter unclothed because she's a girl and I'm not.

I come from a conservative family, but because this is a new experience for me, I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this dynamic changes when these roles are occupied by a mother and her son, and that a little boy is probably older by the time the transition occurs. I don't want to end up in a position where my wife or daughter regrets my involvement in some aspects of my daughter's life. Any thoughts? -- EXPECTANT DAD IN NEW YORK

DEAR EXPECTANT DAD: Fathers have become far more involved in child-rearing in recent years than they were in generations past, and it's a wonderful thing. You should not be worried that changing your daughter's diapers or giving her a bath will scar her emotionally. In fact, the opposite is true. Discuss this with your wife and your daughter's pediatrician, and I'm sure they will allay your fears.

As to when you should stop seeing your daughter unclothed, you have years before that may become necessary. As she becomes aware of her changing body, she will probably let you know, or her mother will. This is a cultural thing. Some families practice a naturist lifestyle without anyone being "damaged" by it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been working as a desk clerk at a motel in Montana for several years. With travel season here, I was hoping you could help your readers who find themselves on the road to avoid sleepless nights and headaches.

Several times a year many of the accommodations on the interstate can be fully booked due to weather or local events, and travelers are sometimes forced to drive several hundred miles to find a room for the night. You can help your readers by reminding them that they should start checking on motel occupancy early in the day, or even the day before, if they know where they would like to stop for the night. That way, situations like this can be avoided, and they will have a more enjoyable and relaxing trip. -- ON THE ROAD AGAIN

DEAR ON THE ROAD: Thank you for the suggestion. Many of my readers take road trips during the summer months, and I hope they'll remember your letter before they start the ignition and head for the highways.