DEAR ABBY: My husband enjoys sitting around (among other activities) naked. We live in a subdivision with 700 homes. I have asked him repeatedly to stop, join a nudist group or go home to his mother -- whatever! He says he's sorry, blah blah blah. But it doesn't stop happening.

The deputies have already visited to tell him to stop playing his ukulele while driving, and I'm afraid he'll get caught without a stitch on one day and all hell will break loose. I realize how ludicrous this letter may sound, but I'm being truthful. Am I crazy to expect him to stay clothed in semi-public? -- TERESA IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TERESA: I'm sorry you didn't define "semi-public." It's one thing for a person to "let it all hang out" in the privacy of his (or her) home or fenced backyard. It's quite another for that individual to fully expose himself in public view. If this is what has been happening, it appears you have married an exhibitionist who could be arrested for indecent exposure if a neighbor chooses to complain. If this is what's happening, you're not crazy; you are a concerned wife.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter's elementary school has many fundraisers each year where the children are asked to sell things like takeout pizza coupons and cheap wrapping paper to raise money for schoolwide events. I'm happy to support the school, but do not want her to participate in the selling.

She's too little to go door-to-door or make phone calls on her own, so I end up doing it for her. I am very uncomfortable when individuals ask me to buy things. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on other people. Also, some of the items for sale are unhealthy or not things we'd use, so it seems wrong to ask others to buy them.

Instead of selling, where they only get a small portion of the funds, I'd rather donate directly to the school. However, I'm not sure how to do that without making our family stand out in this very small community.

When a new fundraiser is announced, should I ask the teacher or PTA member how much our share is and then write a check? I'm afraid I'd be inviting gossip about being too stuck up or wealthy to participate (we are neither). And how do I explain to my 7-year-old why I don't think she should be selling things, without seeming critical of her friends who are? -- JUST WANT TO DONATE IN IOWA

DEAR JUST: This is a concern you should discuss with the person who is in charge of the fundraiser. If you prefer to donate the money you would be expected to raise, rather than have your child solicit door-to-door, your wishes should be respected because the result will be the same for her school. Frankly, I think you have a point.

DEAR ABBY: My mother and I disagree about what to do if a child is invited to a birthday party but is unable to attend. Mom says you should still buy a present for the honoree. I think that's a nice thing to do, but not necessary. What do you think? -- UNSURE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNSURE: I agree with you. Buying a gift for the birthday child would be a very thoughtful gesture, but it is not required.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to a small gathering of women. I arrived punctually, was greeted by the hostess and asked if I wanted some water to drink. I accepted. As I looked around the room, everyone else had a glass of wine. When one other woman arrived a little while later and joined our group, the hostess asked her if she wanted wine or water to drink.

I have never abused alcohol. Why was I not given a choice? I later found out that all the other women had been given a "show up" time that was a half-hour earlier than my "show up" time.

I am hurt by the way I was treated. What are your thoughts? -- SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN: I think your hostess could learn a few things about hospitality, because you were treated shabbily. As it stands, you have nothing to lose by asking her why because I can't imagine that you would ever accept another invitation from the woman if one is offered.

DEAR ABBY: At what point should grown kids in their 20s pay for their own "extras" (cellphone, gas, movies, gym memberships)? In my opinion, if they can't afford these luxuries, they should get a second job or do without. My husband, on the other hand, thinks they should be "rewarded" simply for being good kids.

At this stage in their lives, I think gifts should be reserved for birthdays and Christmas only and that we have been raising kids with a sense of entitlement that may be detrimental to their future (and to our retirement). What are your thoughts on this? -- ODD WOMAN OUT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ODD WOMAN OUT: My thoughts are these: If you are truly concerned that your husband's generosity could have a negative impact on your retirement savings, then he may be overly generous. If the "children" expect these gifts and don't realize how lucky they are to be receiving this kind of largesse, the gifts should be stopped. However, if neither of these things is true and your husband derives pleasure from doing this for them, you should stay out of it.

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago my brother told me he vapes. At first I didn't think much of it. Because I pride myself on how well I keep secrets, I haven't told our parents. But now his grades have started sliding, and I wonder if there's a connection.

He's going into his senior year of high school and his graduation is on the line. If vaping has had an effect on his grades, it might be best for me to tell our parents and figure things out from there. I don't know what the right choice is. What should I do? -- HOLDING A SECRET IN WASHINGTON

DEAR HOLDING: From what I have been reading lately, some teens have begun vaping marijuana, which is known to impair memory. Depending upon what substance your brother has been vaping, it could definitely be why his grades have dropped.

Secrets that can pose a danger shouldn't be kept because they are not harmless. I think your instinct is to share your concerns with your parents, and I concur.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow in my early 50s. While I was dating a prominent OB-GYN, I found out that he's involved in criminal activity -- operating a so-called "pill mill." On our last date he asked me to join an escort service he was starting.

I notified the medical board of the state he's practicing in and various government agencies. It amazes me that he is still practicing. He's doing abortions, which means he has access to vulnerable young women. Knowing this, I have lost trust in our medical establishment. Nothing seems to affect this man's success and practice.

I have given up and am moving far away. What should I do? Have I done everything possible? This is obviously a very difficult situation for me. I am deeply concerned about his patients. I'm getting therapy now for my trust issues because of this experience. Is there anything else I should be doing? -- MS. X, SOMEWHERE IN THE USA

DEAR MS. X: Having notified the proper authorities about this man's activities, you have done everything you can. The only thing left is for you to concentrate on healing yourself, and your therapist can help you with that. I wish you luck in your recovery.

DEAR ABBY: I wrote to you about my 97-year-old mother who was in failing health. My question was how to notify her out-of-state elderly friends with news of her passing when the time came. My idea was to use her address book/Christmas card list for addresses and then print a copy of her obituary with a short message thanking those friends for their letters, cards and support during her life. You sent me back a note that positively reinforced my idea.

My mother passed away earlier this year. I mailed the letters and received a response from almost every single person. Each one thanked me for letting them know the sad news. With your encouragement, I was able to handle this matter with respect and dignity. Thank you so much. -- GAYLE IN ARIZONA

DEAR GAYLE: You're welcome. I occasionally hear from readers asking if people I have advised actually follow my advice. I'm pleased my encouragement worked well for you. Thank you for letting us know.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years and have three wonderful children between us. Now, after a year of living together, we have begun to talk about marriage.

We are happy, but we are introverted people and our main focus at this time is on raising our kids. This has left us with few friendships and only a couple of close family members. If we do decide to get married, I'm worried about how many people we would be able to invite or if there would even be enough people to be in the ceremony itself. Do you have any suggestions for this kind of situation? -- SHY BRIDE IN KANSAS

DEAR SHY BRIDE: Yes, I do. A wedding doesn't have to be big and fancy to be beautiful and meaningful. That's why I suggest you and your boyfriend be married quietly in a ceremony officiated by a justice of the peace or clergyperson of your choice. Ask your relatives and close friends to accompany you while you take your vows and have a small celebration afterward commensurate with your budget.