DEAR ABBY: I am a teacher who occasionally must conduct parent-teacher conferences through a translator. My colleague and I are wondering, what is the proper protocol for these conversations? We are not sure whether to make eye contact with the translator or the parent when talking and listening. Thank you for your help. -- AN INTERNATIONAL EDUCATOR

DEAR EDUCATOR: It is important to make eye contact with the person with whom you are communicating. When you are being given a translation, it's all right to make eye contact with the translator. However, when asking a question or directing a comment to the parent, you should look the parent in the eye.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, a single parent, has a 27-year-old son who has assaulted her several times. He has never worked and has been in trouble with the law because of drugs. Recently, she called me to ask if she and her son could spend the night with me. (They live 160 miles away.) I told her that because of his past behavior it wasn't a good idea.

She was very offended and said I would "never see her son again." After sending me several hurtful emails, she's no longer speaking to me, despite the fact that I have always taken care of her and listened to her problems about her son.

I deserve an apology -- which I won't receive. But I feel bad about the situation. How do I fix it without apologizing myself? -- DAD WITH A DILEMMA IN FLORIDA

DEAR DAD: Because you know an apology from your daughter won't be forthcoming, don't expect one. Considering the fact that your grandson has a tendency to be violent, I don't blame you for not wanting him in your home. So stand pat. Your daughter will start talking to you again as soon as she needs something from you. Of that, I am sure.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Mac," and I come from two different worlds. I am from Europe, but have been living in the U.S. for 15 years. I have many friends, male and female, and I make a point of staying in touch with them.

Mac is Native American and believes that in a relationship, your partner should be the only opposite-sex person you spend time with. He doesn't want me to be in touch with any of my male friends -- no lunch meetings to catch up, and no occasional email, text or call to check in. These are all platonic relationships with guys who share a similar interest. Most of them have wives or girlfriends I get along with well.

Mac thinks his manhood is insulted because he should be enough for me. He was cheated on in the past. I never have been, so I can't relate. Am I being unfair, rude or insensitive by wanting to keep my friends? -- FRIENDLY FEMALE IN NEVADA

DEAR FRIENDLY FEMALE: Not at all. But you must recognize that your boyfriend has some deep-seated insecurities, and until he is willing to work on them, he will continue trying to control those with whom you keep in contact.

You are correct that the two of you come from two different worlds, and I'm not talking about geography. If this is what you are willing to tolerate in the long run, continue your romance with Mac. If not, then it's time for you to make the choice to end it.

DEAR ABBY: I recently went on a cruise with several other women. I was friendly with one of them, but didn't know the others.

I am overweight. One of the other women, "Dolores," was also overweight, heavier than me, in fact. She's very proud of being Christian, but she made the comment, in front of several other people, that she didn't mind going places with me because with me around she didn't feel so fat.

I was so stunned I remained silent. Actually, I was afraid that if I spoke I'd say too much, but I felt very hurt and ashamed. Even though I have tried to ignore it, this has bothered me for months and I don't know what to do.

Should I say something to Dolores or continue to ignore it? I don't really want to be friends with her now because I don't know what kind of snide remark may come out of her mouth next. And I certainly don't want to go anywhere with her again. -- TAKEN ABACK IN TEXAS

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: When mankind was created, a delete button should have been installed at the end of our tongues. However, it's possible our creator thought common sense would suffice. Obviously, Dolores was elsewhere when it was handed out.

While her comment was tactless, it says far more about how she feels about herself than it does about you. Because this is still bothering you, I don't think it would be at all out of line for you to tell her how hurtful her comment was.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and just started my junior year. I'm in an advanced program that my school offers because I want to get into an international college and need to take these classes to get noticed. I'm just over a month in, and I'm losing it. I have a job, I play soccer and I'm the lead in a school production. On top of that, I have an insane workload I wasn't prepared for and I'm trying to cope with discovering that I'm not straight.

With everything going on, I've been having meltdowns nearly every day. I leave class sometimes just to hide in the bathroom. I spend hours doing homework and still don't get everything done I need to.

Last year, four or five of my classmates left school because of mental breakdowns in this program. I'm afraid I'm burning out, too. What should I do? Should I drop out of the program or seek help? -- SCARED AND STRESSED IN NEW YORK

DEAR SCARED: The first thing to do is talk about all of this with a counselor at your school. If you are at the point where you must leave class and "hide," you need more help than I can offer in a letter. If counseling is available, or your course load can be modified, you should go in that direction. But dropping out should be your last resort and only after having discussed it with your parents and your counselor, because there may be other options.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years I have come to realize that my father-in-law is condescending toward women. He expects his wife will do all the cooking, cleaning and housework despite the fact that she has a demanding, full-time job and he doesn't work outside the home.

When we go to dinner over there, it is expected that the women will clean up and do the dishes while the men sit and talk at the table. I have never seen him lift a finger to help, and he frequently makes demeaning comments about his wife's cooking, among other things. He considers himself an expert on everything and frequently interrupts people (mostly women) to prove he "knows better." His behavior is rude and I am offended by it.

I am pregnant with my first child -- a daughter -- and I'm concerned about her growing up in this atmosphere. I don't want her raised thinking that men know better than women and that women are supposed to wait on men. My husband doesn't want to confront his father over this. How do we handle the situation? -- FIRST-CLASS CITIZEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR FIRST-CLASS: It appears your husband is as cowed by his father as your mother-in-law is or this wouldn't be happening. He could have put a stop to it years ago by simply getting up from the table and helping you and his mom clear the dishes while Dad kept himself company.

If you prefer your little girl not grow up in an atmosphere like this, see less of your in-laws. Be sure to tell your MIL why. And if you "must" subject your daughter to her grandfather's presence, point out to her that "Gramps" acts this way because his thinking is outdated. Explain that it is his attempt to make himself feel important, even if he isn't.

DEAR ABBY: While waiting for my chemotherapy to finish along with two other patients (all three of us have little time left), one of them made a comment about his wife. She was sitting next to him as a visitor, continuously using her cellphone. He said, "She always plays games or talks on her phone while I just sit here!" He looked so sad.

I understand, because my husband does the same thing and has for years. Yesterday morning my husband came out of the bedroom and said, "How are you this morning?" I turned around and asked, "Are you talking to me?" It took a moment for me to realize he was actually addressing me and not someone on the other end of the phone. How sad! -- NEAR THE END

DEAR NEAR: I agree that it's sad. Your spouses will have the rest of their lives to regret the meaningful conversations they missed having, and the important things that were left unsaid because they were too busy hiding from reality on their cellphones.

TO MY READERS: A very merry Christmas to you all!