DEAR ABBY: Do you know why people nowadays feel the need to announce their pregnancies via ultrasound pictures? I'm sorry, but I really don't want to see all that. I guess some folks think the image of a blurry, black-and-white fetus is "darling." But to me, all I see is an up-close-and-personal snapshot of a stranger's uterus. Even if we're best friends, I don't need all that detail. TMI, right?

I really wish people would deliver this kind of news face-to-face. Or call me, text me, whatever. It serves the same purpose and isn't nearly as graphic. -- NOT READY FOR A CLOSE-UP

DEAR NOT READY: If seeing a sonogram is "TMI" for your sensibilities, all you need to do is scroll past it. It's not as if you're being forced to view the fetus. Being able to see the product they're manufacturing pre-delivery helps many couples to bond with their babies, and when people are happy, they often want to share their joy. So loosen up and let them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 10 years. Prior to that, we dated for seven. (We met when we were teenagers.) My problem is, my mother-in-law still misspells my name, which is Sara. After all these years, she still adds an "h" to the end of my name, regardless of how many times my husband has pointed out the correct spelling.

I don't know why this is an issue, because we send her cards on all the holidays, her birthday, etc., with my name spelled correctly. How should I approach this with her? -- SIMPLY SARA IN ARIZONA

DEAR SIMPLY SARA: If the two of you get along well, just smile and ask her why she can't get the spelling of your name right. Then listen. However, if there is tension in your relationship, recognize that this may be a form of passive aggression, that confronting her will make her defensive, and she will find some other way to needle you.

P.S. Another thought. Tell her you've changed the spelling of your name to "Sarah" and she may drop the "h"!

DEAR ABBY: My best friend is dying from lung cancer, which I think has traveled to her brain. I am heartbroken over this. My question is, she seems different now -- angry. She jumped on me when we were talking about her disease. Should I just leave her be? Or what should I do? -- STANDING BY IN TEXAS

DEAR STANDING BY: Your friend may indeed be angry, and she has a right to be. She may also be very scared. Continue to stand by her because she will need your support and understanding in the months to come.

A diagnosis of metastasized cancer can make someone feel alone and isolated. If she wants to talk about her prognosis, be prepared to listen. If she is too ill to get out of the house, bring the news about what is going on in her circle of friends to her. (Gossip can be distracting.) Do not offer advice unless you are asked for it. And if she has a bad day, try to be understanding and forgiving.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl who recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. During the time we were together we shared many experiences, including a miscarriage. Now he wants to be alone. He doesn't want to date or have any relationship because he says he feels "love is different now."

I'm having a difficult time coping. I feel like I have been thrown away. I didn't ask for such a serious commitment, but he made me believe.

I am scared, depressed, anxious and no longer want to date because I don't want to have any casual flings. My loyalty is literally killing me. I don't know if I should change my preferences in life or learn to love me. I'm too young for this, right? -- TEEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR TEEN: No one is "old enough" to experience what you have and not come out of it without emotional bruises. Not knowing your former boyfriend, I'm reluctant to guess whether he is grieving the loss of the baby, or relieved that he isn't going to have fatherhood thrust upon him and has run for the hills. But at least for the present, accept that the relationship is over and don't blame yourself.

You could benefit from talking to a counselor about everything you have been through. I agree you are not ready to date right now and, frankly, you shouldn't until you are more healed emotionally. If you have older, experienced women in your life with whom you can talk, it's important that you do. The feelings you are experiencing are normal under the circumstances, including your loss of self-esteem. I'm glad you have the insight to realize that you need to learn to love yourself again before re-entering the dating scene.

DEAR ABBY: My 30-year-old daughter and 8-year-old granddaughter have moved back home. The house now holds four generations. It's hard to keep everyone happy.

My father and I are both years-long smokers, which is causing major problems. Neither of us wishes to quit, and we feel it is our right to do as we please in our own home. My daughter is constantly telling her daughter to tell us she doesn't want to live here anymore because of the smoke.

Abby, they asked to move in here. She lives here for nothing, and pays nothing for food or transportation. God forbid I ask her to do something around here to help out. Who's right? -- SMOKER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SMOKER: Let me put it this way. Your daughter is lucky to be living with you, thanks to your generosity. If she has a bone to pick with you, she should do it directly -- not through her child.

That said, because secondhand smoke isn't healthy for children, out of love and consideration for your granddaughter, you and your father should consider designating a smoking room in your home and lighting up there, or smoking outside.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has many wonderful qualities. However, he's obsessed with my always being instantly available when he calls or texts my cellphone.

I don't carry it with me every minute of the day. At work I can be busy taking orders, dealing with clients, having a conference with my boss or using the restroom. But if I don't answer, my husband leaves nasty messages asking why I have a phone if I'm not going to pick up or respond to a text. I always do it as soon as I am able.

I have explained the reality of what I might be involved with when he contacts me. I have told him his demand that I always be immediately available is selfish, to no avail. What's your opinion? -- EXASPERATED IN ERIE

DEAR EXASPERATED: My opinion is you should ignore your husband's nasty comments because he's acting like an immature, demanding child who needs to grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve around him.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a grandson, "Kyle," who has been living with us for two years while he earned his bachelor's degree in college. However, he is now going for a master's, and it will be another two years before he graduates.

Kyle works a lot and takes classes, so he is not at our home that much. However, at age 25, it seems to me he should be out on his own.

Some of Kyle's uncles are upset that my husband has allowed this to go on so long because their kids never got the same treatment. But Kyle doesn't get the support from his parents that he should, and my husband feels sorry for him.

Am I selfish for feeling that my space has been invaded for too long? -- PUT UPON IN TEXAS

DEAR PUT UPON: That you and your husband have chosen to be generous with Kyle should be nobody else's business. For the reason you mentioned, Kyle needed a break. Your husband stepped in and has seen that he got one.

If Kyle were constantly underfoot, I could understand why you might justifiably feel "invaded." However, because he isn't, then yes, I do think your attitude is selfish.

DEAR ABBY: Once again I have found that one random act of kindness begets another.

Today, I had a hankering for one of those great salads from my favorite fast food chain. It was noon, and the line from the main highway to get into the driveway was long.

When I finally was able to turn in to the ordering section, I noticed a man in his work truck trying to get into the line. We were face-to-face. I looked back, saw all the cars behind me and knew none of them were going to let him in, so I motioned for him to go ahead of me.

When I reached the window and started to pay for my order, the cashier said, "You are already paid for." I said, "What?" The man in front of me had paid for my order.

The message? Be kind -- it's good karma. -- LINDA IN ORANGE, CALIF.

DEAR LINDA: I agree. Like a stone thrown into a pond, a good deed can create ripples that extend far beyond the initial splash.