DEAR ABBY: My sister and I have no interest in body piercing (except our ears), but we have seen it on friends and are not impressed. However, our 44-year-old mom got her nipples pierced and has started wearing jewelry there!

Our parents are divorced and she's not in a relationship right now, so it's not to impress a man. She says she did it to feel good about herself, which makes no sense to us. She takes off her top to show her female friends when they come over, and we can see them literally roll their eyes, but she doesn't seem to notice.

She has now started showing off her piercings to OUR friends. I'm talking about girlfriends, but even so, we find this beyond embarrassing. They're polite to her face but laugh behind her back, and word about it has spread, which we find humiliating. I suppose we should be thankful that at least she hasn't pierced her most personal place to show off to our friends like we've seen some girls do.

We think some kind of midlife crisis or hormonal imbalance is causing her to act this way, but we wish she'd find a better outlet. If she wants to make a fool of herself in front of her friends, that's one thing. But we don't think she has the right to embarrass us in front of our friends! What can we do? -- EMBARRASSED IN THE WEST

DEAR EMBARRASSED: I agree that what your mother has been doing is inappropriate. That she has done it among her friends is one thing, but for her to disrobe to show your friends her nipple piercings is wrong. She may do this because she wants to prove to them (or herself) that she's still young and "with-it." If that's the case, it's pathetic.

If you haven't told her that when she flashes your friends it's embarrassing and you want her to stop, you should. If she realizes she's making herself a laughingstock, she may stop. However, if she doesn't, then you and your sister will have to accept that you can't change her, and realize that what she's doing is no reflection on the two of you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a "catfisher." I use a fake Facebook account with pictures of an attractive woman to attract men. I specifically target married or committed men. I talk to and flirt with them online to see how far they'll go. They often ask me for more pictures and invite me to meet somewhere for sex. I never give real information or meet any of them.

My question is, should I let the women these men are involved with know that their men are unfaithful or keep it to myself? -- KARMA IN GEORGIA

DEAR KARMA: How can you be concerned for the wives and girlfriends when YOU are the person providing the temptation? I think you would be better served if you worked on your own problem before you try to resolve the issues of people you have never met and never will.

DEAR READERS: I promised "Heartbroken Mom From Anywhere" (Oct. 5) to print letters from readers offering suggestions about helping her teen daughter, who is a cutter:

DEAR ABBY: I am a 33-year-old woman who has cut for many years, starting early in high school. What concerns me is the mom doesn't completely understand what's going on. Not many people do.

Self-harm is a cry for help from someone who doesn't know how to voice his or her emotions. I, too, was bullied and didn't know how to express the pain I was feeling, so I took it out on my body. Over the years it became my coping mechanism, although an unhealthy one.

Helping someone who is self-harming requires understanding and a licensed professional to identify the emotions and suggest better ways to express them. One that worked for me was doing puzzles. It was a way to keep my mind and hands busy.

This teen also needs to know she is not alone. Parents need to listen. I cannot stress how important it is for cutters to know someone is there for them with love and no judgment. -- KNOWS FROM EXPERIENCE IN MISSOURI

DEAR ABBY: I grew up in a dysfunctional household with abusive parents. When I would cut, it was like I could feel all my pent-up emotions leaking out through the wounds on my legs. The physical pain was bearable and distracted me from everything that was going on in my life, and I would feel a little bit better about myself and a little less desperate.

Cutting is a powerful addiction. Even now, more than 10 years later, when things get bad I feel a compulsion to just make one small cut. What helped me to stop cutting wasn't counseling or medication. It was becoming passionate about active hobbies that allowed me to release my bottled-up feelings and stress and feel good at the same time. -- FORMER CUTTER IN MINNESOTA

DEAR ABBY: I have worked in psychiatry for 10 years and have found that some of these children have been sexually molested. Some told their parents and were not believed because it was the mother's boyfriend, a family friend or a relative. Carrying this around is a heavy burden.

Parents need to show the child they will look into the allegation. We should be a safe place for our kids to offload all their fears and insecurities, because we have a duty to protect them from abuse. -- IN THE FIELD IN BROOKLYN, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a cutter from age 9 to the present -- age 22 -- though now it's less frequent. The biggest mistake my parents and friends made when I was really destructive was forcing me to commit to ultimatums. It turned my cutting into a shameful thing, isolated me and made it impossible to talk about it.

I advise "Heartbroken" to keep talking to her daughter (not nagging) about cutting, bullying, school and things the girl likes. Share activities with her. Take her hiking, bicycling, to museums or movies. Spending time with her is important for distraction and bonding. Physical activity can help depressed individuals feel better.

And she should understand that recovery is never a straight line. There will be hiccups, setbacks and days when it doesn't seem like it will get better. Eventually, with therapy (via counselors, bonding with friends/family, connection with nature/animals) and learning better coping habits, she will improve. Patience and support are imperative. -- KYLE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ABBY: I am a young man who is currently in college. When I was an infant I was circumcised, and I feel violated that my parents decided to circumcise me without my consent. When the doctor performed the surgery, he took too much off, which causes me pain.

When I was in grade school, I was sexually assaulted by an older classmate, but I feel much more violated from the circumcision because it took a part of me that I can never get back. I am filled with hate and anger toward my parents, even though I know it is unfair to them because they believed they were making the right choice at the time.

My parents know how I feel and are sorry, but I still have these negative feelings toward them because I can't get the procedure undone. Do you have any suggestions how I can overcome my dilemma and build a better relationship with my parents? -- CUT SHORT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR C.S.: Yes, I have several. All of them involve talking to doctors. The place to start would be your student health center to determine exactly what is causing your pain and if there is help for it. A doctor there may refer you to a urologist, who may be able to get the problem corrected.

In addition, I urge you to talk to a licensed mental health professional to help you work through your anger because it may be misdirected and a result of the sexual assault you experienced in grade school.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in a small house on a small lot. We don't have children, but love kids. Our problem is our next-door neighbors, whose two elementary school-age boys have limited supervision. They're always in our yard digging and leaving their toys around. Honestly, their own yard is bigger.

They constantly come over asking for candy, and the other day while my husband was working from home, he heard someone trying to open the door and pushing the keypad for entry. Needless to say, it was one of the boys.

I have tried asking them nicely to retrieve their toys, etc., but I'm getting really frustrated and afraid I'm going to lose my patience soon and blow. Please help us. -- TRYING TO REMAIN NICE NEIGHBORS

DEAR TRYING: You say you have spoken to the boys, but have you spoken to their parents? That one of the boys would try to gain entry to your house -- I assume thinking there was no one there -- is worrisome, and the parents should be put on notice about it. (In some neighborhoods the outcome could be dangerous.) If you can't get them to take action, then consider fencing your yard.