DEAR ABBY: I am a junior in high school. Last year, a guy I have known for two years began showing a sexual interest in me. I rejected his advances. Last week, he began expressing his interest again, letting me know he wanted to have sex. He invited me to study -- only study -- but said we "might" make out.

I was a virgin and had never even kissed anyone before. I had just gotten out of a relationship that didn't end very well, so I liked the attention. I decided I was fine with just kissing, but as soon as I got in his truck, he started to feel me up. He took me to a semi-isolated area and we ended up having sex. It wasn't fun or pleasurable. I told him he was hurting me, but he didn't stop until the third time I said it. He was very upset with me. He only cared about me pleasuring him.

I told two of my close friends about what happened. One said he had essentially raped me. The other said it doesn't count as rape because even though I said it hurt, I didn't say it forcefully enough. Abby, what do you think? -- UNCERTAIN IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNCERTAIN: It appears you and that boy had a severe breakdown in communication, which led to your being sexually assaulted. He had made no secret that he wanted sex with you, and may have interpreted your willingness to kiss him after he took you somewhere other than what was agreed upon as a signal that you were willing, even though you didn't say so.

Date rape happens when a fellow ends up coercing or forcing a girl to have sex without her consent. Unless a girl explicitly expresses her willingness to proceed, it is the responsibility of the boy NOT to proceed.

To me what happened illustrates how important it is for parents to talk to their sons and daughters about responsible behavior because failure to do that can have lifelong consequences for both. If you haven't already done so, you should tell your parents what happened. However, if you don't feel safe doing that, tell a counselor at school.

DEAR ABBY: Can you give me a complete list of etiquette rules for parents with divorced children? My daughter and her ex-husband are constantly battling over issues regarding their two children. Her ex is engaged, and his soon-to-be wife gives her opinion on everything to do with parenting the kids. This is causing a continuous battle, and it isn't good for the children. -- GRANDMA IN MINNESOTA

DEAR GRANDMA: I will offer just one "rule." Divorced parents should remember that above all, what's most important is what's best for the children and maintain consistency wherever possible between the households.

DEAR ABBY: Recently a guy I've known for more than a year decided it would be best for us to part ways. Before Christmas, I had asked what he would like for Christmas. His response was, "I don't want anything for Christmas -- I want you."

A couple of weeks later, he told me the pictures, nightstand, candy dishes and candleholders he had in my apartment were gifts from him because he loved me. Tonight, he packed everything up and left! I don't know exactly why, but I think it has more to do with his own issues than about me.

Abby, I feel I have been manipulated and used. Ironically, this man I thought was a friend is a psychotherapist. While we were together, he would discuss confidential information about some of his clients with me. I think I should report him, but on the other hand, I'm asking myself whether I'm only looking for revenge.

Should I leave it alone, or report him to the American Psychological Association? Or am I overreacting to losing him? I still feel really mixed up. -- VENGEFUL IN MINNESOTA

DEAR VENGEFUL: Psychotherapists are not gods, and like other human beings, they can have their flaws. I understand why you would be hurt and disappointed. However, rather than look for revenge, you should consider yourself lucky you didn't invest more time in this flake.

As to whether you should report his breach of professional ethics to the APA, I think that for the sake of the patients/clients whose trust he has betrayed, you should do exactly that -- but after your anger is no longer raging.

DEAR ABBY: I'm wondering if I have an issue or if what concerns me is fairly normal. I am 31 years old and have three daughters, two stepsons, an ex-wife and one current wife.

I have been asked most of my adult life, as I'm sure most people have, "Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?" For some reason, I can't figure out how to answer this question. There are many variables at play, and many lives would be affected by my pursuing what I want in five to 10 years. I can't say I'm going to be "here doing this in five years" because I have no idea what might change.

Do I need professional help? It upsets my wife when she wants to talk about the future and I can't give her an answer. -- CONFUSED ABOUT THE FUTURE

DEAR CONFUSED: Some people use the question of "where will you be ..." as a method of setting goals. What your wife may really be asking is, "Are you satisfied with things as they are now, and if not, what changes do you intend to make?" If that's the case, it might be illuminating to ask her what changes she would like you to make.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Ed," who dated a woman who put him down regularly. He was often depressed, and we would discuss what was wrong. Eventually I told him I didn't think she was good for him and he should end it. Instead, he became reluctant to tell me if anything was wrong.

When they got engaged, everyone was shocked. Ed explained it by saying they had been dating for several years so an engagement seemed "logical." Although many of his friends thought he was making a mistake, we offered our congratulations and support.

The other day, by coincidence, I read an article on the subject of female-on-male domestic abuse and realized that Ed's wife -- although she doesn't physically harm him -- demonstrates all the signs of an abuser. Part of me wants to discuss my concerns with Ed, but part of me thinks it's too late because they're already married. And maybe it's none of my business. What would you do? -- FEARFUL FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: I would try a more subtle approach than your past efforts. I would share that article with my friend Ed and let him draw his own conclusions.

DEAR ABBY: I work and live in an ethnically and religiously diverse community. There is also a welcoming and open LGBT community here.

While I was having lunch with a new employee, she mentioned that she was married. My first thought was that she was married to a woman, but later it sounded like her spouse was male. I didn't want to be rude so I kept my mouth shut. Is it ever OK to ask the gender of someone's spouse? -- POLITE BUT CONFUSED IN OREGON

DEAR POLITE: I don't think so. It would be more tactful to ask the person her spouse's name. However, if the name is gender-neutral, then you should wait till you know the woman better for the answer. Time will tell, even if your co-worker doesn't.

DEAR ABBY: My wife is a nurse who works 36 hours a week. Two years ago she got duped into working for a multilevel marketing company. All she does now in her spare time is try to recruit people. She is never home.

We have two kids. She spends $700 a month on products and makes only $250 a month. Her so-called business is everything to her. She won't get marriage counseling. She says she isn't a quitter. I want a divorce, but I hate the consequences of ending a 15-year marriage.

I need help. It would be so easy to cheat, and I have been tempted more than once, but haven't done it. We are in our 40s, and I feel like a single parent. What do I do? I'm so frustrated. She is basically working for free and thinks she'll be able to retire rich from it. -- BRAINWASHED

DEAR BRAINWASHED: The business venture you have described may be a pyramid scheme. Many people have ended up with garages filled with inventory they can't unload and nothing to show for it. If she refuses counseling, then YOU should consider it for yourself, because what has been going on in your marriage for the last two years is unfair to you and your children. Then you can get a clearer picture of what your next steps should be.