DEAR ABBY: I have plans to go to law school in the next two years. I have already taken the entrance exam, and will receive recommendations from two of my college professors. The problem is, my parents are refusing to co-sign for my law school loan.

Abby, I'm not asking for money; I'm just asking for someone to co-sign the loan for me. I plan to pay off the debt myself. I don't want to ask an extended family member for help, because even if they agree, I'd feel horrible if it prevented them from helping their own children with something.

My parents don't have a good enough excuse to not co-sign for me, and it surprises me that it doesn't embarrass them that I may have to ask another family member for help. What should I do, Abby? -- FUTURE LAW SCHOOL STUDENT

DEAR FUTURE LAW SCHOOL STUDENT: Your parents shouldn't have to meet your criteria for what is a "good enough" excuse for being reluctant to co-sign on a loan for you. It should be enough that they are uncomfortable with the prospect of doing it.

While your desire to pursue the field of law is admirable, have you researched what job opportunities are available to new law school graduates? Currently, according to the media, these jobs are not nearly as plentiful as they have been historically.

However, if you are determined to plunge ahead, I think you already know what you're going to have to do -- and that includes seeing if you can find another source of funding for your law school education.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. We knew each other for a while prior because we used to work together. Our relationship has been somewhat fun. The only issue that bothers me is that he can never seem to open up. He doesn't express his feelings toward me or even show much that he cares that we're together.

When I ask him about it, he says he's just not ready to open up and I should respect that. I do, because he has been through a lot in life. But it's hard to figure out where I stand with him. I'm always the one to make the first move -- whether it's to show affection or express my love for him. It's lonely and confusing that he doesn't, and I often feel like I'm in a relationship with myself.

Should I give him more time to get comfortable enough to open up? Or am I wasting my time? -- MIXED UP IN LOVE

DEAR MIXED UP: Not all men are comfortable expressing their emotions verbally. More important than what someone tells you, is how he treats you. You stated that he not only doesn't express his emotions, but also doesn't show that he cares you are a couple. A year and a half has been plenty of time for your boyfriend to respond with more than indifference.

Because you need more than he seems capable of giving, it's time to find someone who can give you the affection and affirmation you crave. In a relationship, BOTH parties must contribute if it is to survive.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column and I feel for the people who have problems. I have no worries. Although my life has been far from perfect and no bed of roses, here I am at 95 with no serious physical, spiritual, emotional, family or economic problems.

I grew up during the Depression, had wonderful parents, worked my way through college, and was married to a loving woman for 67 years. I have four successful children and their spouses and several industrious grandchildren. I also have met a terrific widow who shares the current daily obstacles.

Service in the Navy during WWII and Korea seemed at the time to limit my future career, but in retrospect were experiences I cherish. Science has been good to me. My knee replacement still permits tennis, three stents keep me alive, vertebra shots eliminate severe pain and I have had a couple of other minor corrections.

Yes, I know, Abby -- I am the luckiest person alive. -- FRANK IN ATLANTA

DEAR FRANK: I agree. And I can't help but wonder if part of your luck has to do with your attitude when you were faced with problems that others would consider to be adversities. We can all learn from your example.

DEAR ABBY: I know I have an issue with alcohol. I have read about local AA groups, but they don't seem right for me because I'm an atheist. When I went to my doctor, along with my supportive husband, she had no suggestions to offer. I know I need help beyond what friends and family can provide. Do you have any ideas for me? -- TAKING THE STEP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TAKING THE STEP: I certainly do, because there are secular alternatives to AA.

SMART Recovery offers a four-point program aimed at motivation to abstain, coping with cravings, managing negative emotions and finding a life balance. It has face-to-face support groups worldwide, as well as daily online meetings. Like AA, lifetime abstinence is the goal, and meetings and help are free of charge. Unlike AA, lifetime abstinence need not require lifetime attendance at meetings. For more information, visit smartrecovery.org.

Another group, Women for Sobriety, may be of interest to you because it is non-theistic and aims to empower women and minorities. The website, womenforsobriety.org, does not list its meetings (for reasons of privacy), so in order to find a group, you will have to make contact within the site.

Last, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (aka Save Our Selves) is sometimes described as a 12-step program minus the religious overtones. To find a list of meetings, visit sossobriety.org.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Rick," and I have been together for years and recently got engaged. We are over the moon about it, and genuinely in love. However, this exciting time in our lives has been met with some difficulties.

We recently learned Rick's mother has been having an affair, which makes for a very uncomfortable situation. My future mother-in-law doesn't know we know. Rick's father came to us for help because he suspects she's cheating.

She engages with this man publicly by texting, calling, etc. when we spend time with her, so I avoid her because I don't want any part of it. It's hard to ignore because we live with Rick's family.

He believes we should say nothing. I spoke to our priest about it because I am so deeply disturbed by her behavior and was told to "pray for them." I'm worried this will be a negative influence on my fiance and me, and that by remaining quiet we have become part of her lie. What should I do? -- CLEAN CONSCIENCE IN THE EAST

DEAR CLEAN CONSCIENCE: Listen to the advice you received from your priest. Pray for your almost in-laws, but do not involve yourself in their marital problems. If Rick's father approaches you again for help, tell him that he needs to discuss his suspicions with his wife because that's the only way his problems will be resolved.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my favorite cat a year ago to kidney disease. I had noticed she wasn't doing well, but when I told my parents, so we could take her to the veterinarian, they insisted she was fine. They said she didn't need to see the vet because her ailments were just age. They refused to have her examined until it was too late, and by then, the vet's attempts to help her only weakened her. She died in my arms on the way home.

I am devastated. She was my therapy animal and she helped me combat my anxiety disorders for over seven years. When she died, my family seemed to be suddenly struck with grief, even though they ignored her most of the time. This makes me angry because I feel their hesitation to take her to the vet and refusal to listen to me are what killed her.

I've forgiven them for what happened, but I still feel upset and angry toward them whenever I see my cat's picture by her urn on my memory shelf. Am I wrong for feeling this way? -- NOT FEELING PURRFECT

DEAR NOT FEELING PURRFECT: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your cat. What happened to her is regrettable, but holding a grudge won't help. What might help would be for your parents to get you another therapy cat, and I'm advising you to suggest it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter recently had her first child (my first grandchild), and I am wondering if there's any protocol regarding the first visit. Should I wait until my daughter invites me, or should I just tell her I want to come? I'm afraid it would be rude to just invite myself before she's ready to show off her newborn. -- BABY STEPS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR BABY STEPS: Give your daughter some time to rest and for her and her husband/partner to establish a routine, and then ask when it would be convenient for you to come and if she'd like you to help out in any way. I'm sure that approach would be better received than an announcement.