DEAR ABBY: I've been with my boyfriend, "Jake," for two years. We are both 32. Since the beginning, his sister, "Michelle" (who is 26), has never liked me. Jake admits there's no reason for it. He thinks she's just looking out for him because he's had bad relationships in the past.

Michelle makes me very uncomfortable during family events by making rude comments, and she makes a point of excluding me from any event she is hosting. She has told people that I "shoved her" and accuses me of refusing to let her talk to her brother. Neither is true.

I have asked Jake to ask his sister to apologize and make amends, but he insists she'll do it when "hell freezes over." He thinks I should try to make amends even though I have never done anything wrong.

I'm at a loss. I don't think I should apologize for something I've never done. Abby, she has belittled me in any encounter we've had. The rest of the family shrugs and says, "That's just the way she is." Michelle has never liked any of Jake's girlfriends, so this seems to be a pattern for her. I'm afraid it will eventually lead to the end of Jake's and my relationship.

I love him very much, and I wish he could see my side on this. Could you please give me some advice, Abby? -- NOT MY FAULT IN ALBERTA, CANADA

DEAR NOT MY FAULT: Michelle's fixation on her brother isn't normal or healthy. That Jake has been willing to tolerate it and not warn her to knock it off means that as long as you are with him, you will be subjected to her mistreatment. You may love Jake, but as long as he is under the thumb of his jealous and possessive sister, you will continue to be abused and maligned. My advice is to cut your losses.

DEAR ABBY: I am an African-American woman who was in a relationship with a Hispanic man. I am now a single parent of a beautiful 6-month-old son who is my pride and joy.

My biracial son, who looks exactly like me, is very fair-skinned. My problem is, any time I leave the house with him, strangers feel the need to ask me rude questions. I have been asked about my child's father's ethnicity, and asked if I was baby-sitting someone else's child. I'm left flabbergasted and speechless. What should I say the next time a stranger asks about my son's race, which is none of their business? -- COLORBLIND IN TEXAS

DEAR COLORBLIND: It's normal for people to be curious. If I were you, I wouldn't tell them it's none of their business because if you do, you will come across as angry and defensive. When your son is older, it may make him wonder if there is something wrong with his appearance. A better way to handle it would be to matter-of-factly just tell the truth and move on.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son-in-law are both in the military. Currently her husband is stationed elsewhere. They have a 6-month-old daughter, and I'm staying with her to help her out for now. I have a gut feeling that she is cheating. Do I have the right to ask her? -- WORRIED MOTHER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WORRIED: Of course you do -- that's what mothers are for. You also have the right as her mother to point out that if it's true, what the consequences of her fling may be when her husband returns. When you talk to her, try not to come across as judgmental as much as concerned, and be prepared to do a lot of listening, because people don't usually start affairs for no reason.

DEAR ABBY: I'm fairly certain that you have never heard this one before, but I am a slob. It's embarrassing, but it is what it is. I'm working on it, but I'm nearly 70, so major change is unlikely.

I suspect a friend of mine used my hidden key and came into my house to clean for me on my birthday while I was out to dinner with my children. She meant well, but I have asked her repeatedly not to help me. She simply refuses to listen to what she doesn't want to hear. She says she cleans because it's a stress reliever for her, but it just makes me feel more stressed.

Needless to say, I have taken in all of my hidden keys. I am frustrated by her actions and feel violated, not honored. Honestly, I am just embarrassed. I haven't been feeling well for a while, so the house was particularly messy. I suspect she's waiting for me to acknowledge her "thoughtfulness."

Abby, please tell your readers that "helping a friend" is NO HELP if it isn't welcome. I feel what she did was stubborn and selfish since it was what she wanted to do -- not what I wanted. I'm a big girl, and I can ask for help if I want it. -- FRUSTRATED IN THE WEST

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I feel for you, but the person who needs to receive that message is the person who has been doing this "for" you over your objections. Are you absolutely sure that it's this friend who's doing it and not some other well-meaning person -- a relative, perhaps? If you are certain, then deliver the message with both barrels.

What concerns me is your statement that you have taken in your extra keys. That means "someone" may have made an extra copy, which would be not only a huge invasion of privacy but also a security problem. If the problem persists, have your locks changed.

DEAR ABBY: At what age is it acceptable and appropriate for my daughters to move out? -- WONDERING IN WICHITA

DEAR WONDERING: Many young adults live with their parents today because they are burdened with student loan debt and are unable to find jobs. I think the logical time for them to move out would be when they are able to support themselves.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my longtime job but have remained in contact with a few former co-workers, meeting for an occasional lunch or dinner. One woman in particular has been pushing to meet at my place. Abby, I'm not proud of where I live now, and I don't want to have to explain this to her.

So far, I have side-stepped by saying that I prefer to get out of the house, but I'm worried that one day she will announce that she's "in my neighborhood" and ask to drop by. I'm really uncomfortable with that, but I don't know an appropriate response that will keep our relationship cordial, because I do value the times we see each other. Any suggestions? -- DOWNSCALE IN DELAWARE

DEAR DOWNSCALE: There are various excuses you can use if she wants to drop by. Your place "might not be presentable now," or you might "not feel up for company," or you are "in the middle of a project you need to finish," or you will be "leaving shortly and don't have time" that day. If you rotate the deflections as needed, your friend may eventually get the idea without your having to say it directly.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I were sitting in a restaurant one night. A woman, her boyfriend and two children were at the table next to us. The boyfriend was loudly verbally abusing the children (5 to 8 years old) for not eating "the food he had paid for." It was truly ABUSE -- his language was awful -- and it lasted for 20 to 30 minutes. I wasn't concerned about it ruining our night out, but rather what this guy must be like in private with those kids and that woman. Should I have called the police? Would it have made it worse? -- NIGHT OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR NIGHT OUT: Yes, if you had intervened, it probably would have made matters worse. Unfortunately, the police can't arrest someone for verbal abuse. However, since the man was making a scene, the manager of the restaurant should have stepped in because he was disturbing the other diners.

DEAR ABBY: "Breaking With the Past" (Feb. 29) said she no longer wishes to "schlep" her parents' wedding album to yet another location when she moves again. You wisely advised her not to dispose of it hastily.

Another option might be for her to preserve the photos in a digital format, and then return the album to her mother or give it away as you suggested. That way, she can assure her sentimental mother that she still has the photos. In the future she may come to value these keepsakes because they may contain important information about family members, in addition to her parents. -- CATHY IN OREGON

DEAR CATHY: I had originally included the option of digitally scanning the photos in my answer, but second-guessed myself while editing my column. Judging by the number of readers who wrote to suggest it, I should have left it in. It's a common-sense option for "Breaking" to consider. Thank you for writing.