DEAR ABBY: I co-signed a college loan for my grandson. Unfortunately, he didn't earn passing grades and was kicked out. He frequently misses loan payments, and I end up getting a late payment letter.

I am afraid his inattention to this debt will adversely affect my credit. I can make the late payment or pull the money out of my savings and pay off the loan. If I pay off the loan, I plan to deduct that amount from his inheritance.

He's very apologetic about it when I talk to him, but I'm tired of it hanging over my head. How should I handle this? -- TIRED OF PAYING

DEAR TIRED OF PAYING: Your grandson's irresponsibility will reflect on your credit if it hasn't already. Pay off the loan and do not co-sign for him again. He should repay the money he borrowed from you as well as any penalties when he begins earning his own money. However, if he doesn't, you are within your rights to deduct the amount from his inheritance.

DEAR ABBY: I have become completely unemotional. I don't feel sad when there is a death. I feel no joy when I see a baby and, in fact, think people are selfish for having children in the world we live in today. When a couple gets married, I also feel -- nothing.

I'm 66 and have a great life with no health or financial problems. I'm friendly when I'm out in public, although I'd rather be left alone. I'm not miserable. I am just burned out on human beings and feel numb. What's up with me? -- ABNORMAL IN ARKANSAS

DEAR ABNORMAL: Have you seen your doctor during the past year? If not, you should, to rule out a physical illness. If there's nothing physically wrong, you may be describing something called "ennui" -- a kind of world-weariness. (An old song performed by Peggy Lee titled "Is That All There Is?" which you can find on YouTube, expresses it perfectly.)

A change in your routine may give you the jolt you need. If you aren't in the habit of doing it, 30 minutes of brisk daily exercise might give you a lift. However, if that doesn't help your malaise, some sessions with a licensed mental health professional may help you understand why you've been feeling the way you do.

DEAR ABBY: Can you and some of your readers give me an answer to a pressing question? I recently remarried, and I still feel like I'm visiting instead of living in my new home. None of my husband's late wife's furniture has been removed to make room for mine. Only a few minor changes have been made. When I suggest any changes, they are ignored. How can I tactfully make my feelings known? -- LIVING WITH A GHOST IN ALABAMA

DEAR LIVING WITH A GHOST: Do that by stating your feelings clearly. This is something the two of you should have reached an understanding about before your wedding. If your husband continues to ignore you after that, work it out with him with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist or other mediator.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 18 and was best friends with "Sam" for two years until we started dating 10 months ago. It has been so much fun. He is the first person I have truly loved.

When we first started dating we weren't exclusive, and he hooked up with my best friend. We all go to school together and see each other every day. Since then, I'm uncomfortable being around her.

I have expressed my feelings to Sam, but there's nothing we can do. I often feel hot and cold about our relationship and get close to breaking up with him. I have considered therapy, but my family can't afford it. What can I do so I don't hurt myself and him? -- HURTING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HURTING: You didn't mention what you and this young man plan to do in the fall, but if it involves continuing your education, your paths may diverge at that time. In the meantime, you and Sam should be free to see others because, if your emotional needs were being met, you wouldn't be blowing hot and cold about the relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I started sucking my thumb when I was 1. My parents tried for years to break my bad habit, but it wasn't until I started going to slumber parties at 16 that I stopped.

I am now 27, and a few months ago I woke up with my thumb in my mouth. Since then I have caught myself sucking my thumb in the middle of the night. It seems to happen when I'm really tired.

I am now in a committed relationship and would die of embarrassment if my boyfriend saw me doing it. How can I stop once and for all? -- WET THUMB IN THE SOUTH

DEAR W.T.: I have heard from other adults who suck their thumbs, so comfort yourself with the thought that it's not all that unusual.

One way to fix the problem would be to not allow yourself to get overly tired. Another would be to coat your thumbs with a bitter or bad-tasting substance at bedtime. (Some people find the taste of nail polish deters them from thumb-sucking.) You could also apply hand cream and wear cotton gloves to bed. However, if that doesn't do the trick, simply level with your boyfriend and ask him if it's a deal-breaker.

P.S. You were able to quit the habit for 11 years. Something triggered your return to it. Consider keeping a journal to identify what is going on before your thumb-sucking episodes so you can gain insight into what may be causing them.

DEAR ABBY: I haven't been in a relationship since 1995. Is it true when they say, "Use it or lose it," and does it hold true for women also? -- WANTS TO KNOW IN INDIANA

DEAR WANTS TO KNOW: I think the answer to your question may depend upon what "it" is.

DEAR ABBY: At what point does a man finally give up hope of finding a mate and accept that he may end up alone?

I'm 29. I never had a chance to date in high school. My family farms, and when I was 14, my grandfather could no longer help my dad. Dad couldn't take care of things alone, so I would go out and help him the minute I got home from school every day. Between the farm work and keeping up with my studies, I had to grow up fast. I graduated with a 3.5 grade point average, but because I had no time for dating, this part of my development has always been off.

I have been set up by family and friends, tried meeting people in groups and on online dating sites. So far, it has been to no avail. My last actual date was two years ago. Friends tell me I'm a good guy, so I can't figure out what has gone wrong.

I never regretted helping my dad when he needed me, but I wish it hadn't come at such a steep social price. Am I doomed to a lonely life because I "did the right thing" when I was in high school? -- MIDWEST FARMER

DEAR FARMER: A quick online search would show you there are women who would be very interested in meeting someone like you. Go back online and start researching dating sites for farmers and ranchers. While I can't guarantee you'll meet your match, it would be a good place to start. I wish you the best and hope you will let me know I have guided you in the right direction.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my friends threw me a party for my 34th birthday. A number of them brought their children (ages 2 to 6 years) to the Saturday afternoon event.

When I began opening my gifts, several of the children started throwing tantrums because they were not being given gifts. I thought this might be a good learning opportunity to gently teach the children that it was not their birthday, but someone else's special day. However, some of the parents began insisting that I let the crying (and by this point, screaming) children open my gifts(!). Instead, I stopped opening gifts, put all the presents up on a shelf and began serving cake and ice cream and handing out balloons and other party favors.

This satisfied some of the children, but others were still screaming. One of the parents then began berating me, saying that I was "the biggest child" for not "sharing." Needless to say, the party ended early and with some hurt feelings. Was I wrong to not allow small children to tear open my fragile and expensive birthday gifts? -- IT'S MY SPECIAL DAY

DEAR SPECIAL DAY: You did nothing wrong. The parents of the children who were throwing tantrums were wrong. They should have removed their offspring until they regained control of themselves rather than demand you allow their little angels to tear apart your packages. Your mistake was in not having an adults-only party, but after this experience, I'm sure it's one you won't be making again any time soon. Those parents owe you an apology.