DEAR ABBY: I recently was rejected for a job that would have turned into a career. I put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak, and told everyone around me during the process that it was looking good. I am humiliated because I now have to tell my peers and co-workers that it didn't work out.

My confidence is shaken, and I don't know what to do. In my middle school years, I used to know what I wanted to do, but somewhere in high school up to this point (25 years old), I've lost my vision, my dream. How can I find my way again? -- IN A SLUMP OUT EAST

DEAR IN A SLUMP: The path to success is rarely straight. Most of us learn more from our mistakes than our successes, so take heart. While this experience has been disappointing, you have learned valuable lessons from it.

If you do not wish to stay in your current job, finding your way again may be as simple as inquiring if career counseling is available at your nearest community college. Ask whether aptitude tests are offered, then research what kinds of jobs are available for someone with your qualifications and interests. And when you are again in the running for a new position, keep it to yourself until you have officially accepted it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter married into a wealthy family. Since the beginning, her mother-in-law has used money to control her. Although it bothered me, I didn't say anything.

We now have a granddaughter, and the mother-in-law is controlling how much time we get to see her. Unfortunately, my daughter allows her to do this. What can I do? I am heartsick. -- THE OTHER GRANDMA

DEAR OTHER GRANDMA: Your mistake was in not speaking up when you first noticed what was going on. If you haven't expressed your feelings, you should. Whether it will lead to any improvements, I can't guarantee. But if it doesn't, and your daughter continues to allow herself to be ruled by her MIL's checkbook, you will have to accept that the daughter you raised has seriously misplaced values.

You are obviously someone with a lot of love to give. A program that has been mentioned before in my column -- and that might interest you -- is Foster Grandparents, which is sponsored by the Corporation for National and Community Service. The website is nationalservice.gov. Click on "Programs" and you will find it listed under "Senior Corps."

DEAR ABBY: My son is going to have his first communion soon. We don't have the money to have a party -- even an inexpensive one -- and invite the whole family. I would like to restrict the celebration just to my husband, myself and my child's grandparents. However, I feel bad not inviting his godparents, their siblings and other extended family. How do I tell them they are welcome to stop by the church, but aren't obligated to come, and we won't be having a party? -- TRYING TO KEEP IT SIMPLE

DEAR TRYING: I don't think it would be rude to explain to your son's godparents and extended family that they are welcome to come by the church for your child's first communion, but because of financial constraints there will be no celebration afterward. It's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I co-signed a college loan for my grandson. Unfortunately, he didn't earn passing grades and was kicked out. He frequently misses loan payments, and I end up getting a late payment letter.

I am afraid his inattention to this debt will adversely affect my credit. I can make the late payment or pull the money out of my savings and pay off the loan. If I pay off the loan, I plan to deduct that amount from his inheritance.

He's very apologetic about it when I talk to him, but I'm tired of it hanging over my head. How should I handle this? -- TIRED OF PAYING

DEAR TIRED OF PAYING: Your grandson's irresponsibility will reflect on your credit if it hasn't already. Pay off the loan and do not co-sign for him again. He should repay the money he borrowed from you as well as any penalties when he begins earning his own money. However, if he doesn't, you are within your rights to deduct the amount from his inheritance.

DEAR ABBY: I have become completely unemotional. I don't feel sad when there is a death. I feel no joy when I see a baby and, in fact, think people are selfish for having children in the world we live in today. When a couple gets married, I also feel -- nothing.

I'm 66 and have a great life with no health or financial problems. I'm friendly when I'm out in public, although I'd rather be left alone. I'm not miserable. I am just burned out on human beings and feel numb. What's up with me? -- ABNORMAL IN ARKANSAS

DEAR ABNORMAL: Have you seen your doctor during the past year? If not, you should, to rule out a physical illness. If there's nothing physically wrong, you may be describing something called "ennui" -- a kind of world-weariness. (An old song performed by Peggy Lee titled "Is That All There Is?" which you can find on YouTube, expresses it perfectly.)

A change in your routine may give you the jolt you need. If you aren't in the habit of doing it, 30 minutes of brisk daily exercise might give you a lift. However, if that doesn't help your malaise, some sessions with a licensed mental health professional may help you understand why you've been feeling the way you do.

DEAR ABBY: Can you and some of your readers give me an answer to a pressing question? I recently remarried, and I still feel like I'm visiting instead of living in my new home. None of my husband's late wife's furniture has been removed to make room for mine. Only a few minor changes have been made. When I suggest any changes, they are ignored. How can I tactfully make my feelings known? -- LIVING WITH A GHOST IN ALABAMA

DEAR LIVING WITH A GHOST: Do that by stating your feelings clearly. This is something the two of you should have reached an understanding about before your wedding. If your husband continues to ignore you after that, work it out with him with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist or other mediator.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 18 and was best friends with "Sam" for two years until we started dating 10 months ago. It has been so much fun. He is the first person I have truly loved.

When we first started dating we weren't exclusive, and he hooked up with my best friend. We all go to school together and see each other every day. Since then, I'm uncomfortable being around her.

I have expressed my feelings to Sam, but there's nothing we can do. I often feel hot and cold about our relationship and get close to breaking up with him. I have considered therapy, but my family can't afford it. What can I do so I don't hurt myself and him? -- HURTING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HURTING: You didn't mention what you and this young man plan to do in the fall, but if it involves continuing your education, your paths may diverge at that time. In the meantime, you and Sam should be free to see others because, if your emotional needs were being met, you wouldn't be blowing hot and cold about the relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I started sucking my thumb when I was 1. My parents tried for years to break my bad habit, but it wasn't until I started going to slumber parties at 16 that I stopped.

I am now 27, and a few months ago I woke up with my thumb in my mouth. Since then I have caught myself sucking my thumb in the middle of the night. It seems to happen when I'm really tired.

I am now in a committed relationship and would die of embarrassment if my boyfriend saw me doing it. How can I stop once and for all? -- WET THUMB IN THE SOUTH

DEAR W.T.: I have heard from other adults who suck their thumbs, so comfort yourself with the thought that it's not all that unusual.

One way to fix the problem would be to not allow yourself to get overly tired. Another would be to coat your thumbs with a bitter or bad-tasting substance at bedtime. (Some people find the taste of nail polish deters them from thumb-sucking.) You could also apply hand cream and wear cotton gloves to bed. However, if that doesn't do the trick, simply level with your boyfriend and ask him if it's a deal-breaker.

P.S. You were able to quit the habit for 11 years. Something triggered your return to it. Consider keeping a journal to identify what is going on before your thumb-sucking episodes so you can gain insight into what may be causing them.

DEAR ABBY: I haven't been in a relationship since 1995. Is it true when they say, "Use it or lose it," and does it hold true for women also? -- WANTS TO KNOW IN INDIANA

DEAR WANTS TO KNOW: I think the answer to your question may depend upon what "it" is.