DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law found out I smoke marijuana. I have a medical card and some mental disabilities. Marijuana helps with my anxiety.

Although we live near each other, my in-laws now say they don't want me in their homes. The stress this has put on my husband is unfair. His brother obviously has a problem with me.

I never discuss marijuana with anyone and don't carry it around with me. I use it only in the privacy of my home. How should I expect my husband to handle holidays or even regular get-togethers? I really need help. -- UNFAIR IN NEVADA

DEAR UNFAIR: Medical and recreational marijuana are legal for adults in the state of Nevada. I wish you had mentioned how your brother-in-law learned you are using it. That it is being used as an excuse to isolate you is cruel.

How your husband chooses to handle further contact -- or lack of it -- with his relatives will be his personal decision. Not knowing how close they have been, I can't guess what his next step should be -- except to point out that his first loyalty should be to you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a sophomore in high school, and I need some boy help. I go to a small school, where there are only 60 sophomores, and we're all pretty close.

There's this one guy that I kind of like, but I don't know how to strike up a conversation with him. I know I could ask him for rides to places, since he can drive and I can't yet.

My problem is I have no classes with him this year, so I can't do any of the "can you help me with homework" or "did you understand this concept" flirting. He invites me to his parties, but he does that with almost everyone.

I know this is a bit of a random jumble of a letter, but I'm hoping for advice on how to start a conversation, especially because we share no classes. -- SMALL SCHOOL PROBLEM

DEAR SMALL SCHOOL PROBLEM: Discuss current events, pop culture or school activities. Tell him about things you like. Because many high school-age boys are interested in sports, find out which ones he's interested in and ask questions about those. Unless he's sports-averse, I can almost guarantee it'll generate conversation.

DEAR ABBY: Today I received the best news ever. My son and his wife are expecting their first child. I am beyond happy for them.

I was so excited, I couldn't wait to tell my husband. His reaction? "Don't tell me 'Cathy' is pregnant! I hope your son will be able to support it!" "IT" is my future first grandchild -- and my husband's first (step-)grandchild.

My son and his wife do very well financially. He has a great job and is up for a promotion. I always feel like no matter what I say, my husband always has to put a negative spin on it. Or am I overreacting? -- HAPPY GRANDMA-TO-BE

DEAR HAPPY: Your husband either has a questionable sense of humor or enjoys putting people down. Surely you knew this before you married him, so rather than dwell on it, choose not to let him rain on your parade.

DEAR ABBY: We have some friends who take a couple of expensive extended vacations each year. They go to Europe and take cruises. For the last four years, they have never once booked ground transportation from home to the airport and back. Instead, they rely on friends to take them to the airport.

They have plenty of money. They are just too cheap to pay for a shuttle, cab or limo. They never offer to put gas in the car or pay for the parking. It is a 45-minute drive in heavy traffic.

They are getting ready for another trip. What should I say when asked? Please give me your thoughts on their behavior. -- UNHAPPY ABOUT THIS IN GEORGIA

DEAR UNHAPPY: These friends appear to be centered on themselves. Rather than fume about it, the next time you are asked to drive them to the airport, tell them you have a conflict and are unavailable.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old professional man who loves children, but never had any of my own. Consequently, I have never had to contend with the considerable cost of raising children. Many of my friends are parents, and I feel the urge to buy their kids nice presents I know they want, or that I never received when I was a child, e.g., a wonderful bike or train set.

What's the protocol for giving an expensive gift (e.g., a saxophone that can cost $1,000) to non-related children without creating awkwardness or obligation? Naturally, I would always check with the parents first. (All of us are white-collar executives and employed, but no one is "filthy rich.") -- GIFT GIVER IN OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR GIFT GIVER: The protocol is the one you are already observing, which is to have a conversation with the parents before buying expensive gifts for their children. And when you do, make clear that it is not your wish to cause awkwardness or a sense of obligation.

DEAR ABBY: I am increasingly reluctant to attend social and church events because several members of our group photograph everything and post the pictures online. My husband and I are private people, and we are uncomfortable with this. Why do people think they have the right to do this, and what can we do to stop it? -- DISCOURAGED IN THE EAST

DEAR DISCOURAGED: People post photos of themselves, their activities, their meals, etc. for a variety of reasons. Because you and your husband prefer not to be "memorialized" this way, tell the person taking the photos that you prefer to remain out of camera range -- and request that in the future, any shot you might "accidentally" be in not be posted. If the person demands to know why, say, "Because I don't want anyone from the IRS to find us."

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl who has started college early. I love my classes, and I'm glad to be here. The problem is, the dating culture here is huge. People go on dates all the time.

I have been asked out several times, and I feel comfortable going, but I feel dishonest when I don't tell them that I'm 16. However, if I'm upfront about my age, the offer usually gets rescinded, and it becomes incredibly awkward. How can I have a fun college dating experience while still being truthful about my age? -- COLLEGE STUDENT IN UTAH

DEAR COLLEGE STUDENT: The age of consent for a girl in Utah is 16. For a young man, it is 18. You shouldn't jump the gun and announce your age before getting to know someone. If you are asked, of course you shouldn't lie about it. However, I see no reason to volunteer the information when you are asked for a date.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 32-year-old late-deafened adult. I have been deaf in my right ear my whole life, but lost my hearing in my left ear after a tumor was removed when I was 27.

I guess they are right when they say we are never fully prepared to lose things we have taken for granted for so long. I still have trouble communicating with people. I have taken a few sign language classes and four lip-reading classes, but I often feel like I'm no longer part of normal society.

My question is, shouldn't I have adjusted by now regarding how people see me, since I have been without hearing for so long? -- HEARING IMPAIRED

DEAR HEARING IMPAIRED: I have been told that the most isolating disability is being unable to hear. Please do not burden yourself by feeling you "should" have adjusted faster than you have. There is no set timetable for adjusting to any disability.

Because you feel stuck in the process, the Hearing Loss Association of America (hearingloss.org) may be helpful because it sponsors support groups in many states. Please check it out.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it is fair for me to do all the housework and pick up dog doo-doo just because I moved into my sister's house with her and her family? They have five dogs and four cats. No one else bothers to do it. I do it to lessen the smell. When I try to say something, they say I am "causing problems." I don't have any animals of my own. -- POOPER SCOOPER

DEAR P.S.: I agree that the task of picking up after an animal -- let alone nine of them -- isn't something most people look forward to. However, if you are living rent-free with your sister's family, perhaps you should consider your chores to be your contribution to the household.

P.S. Because you mentioned that no one else cleans up the animal messes, consider finding more hygienic living arrangements as soon as it's feasible.