DEAR ABBY: I'm not attracted to my husband. I love him and don't want to live without him, but I do not want to be physically intimate with him. I know it is unfair to him, and I have tried everything from antidepressants to meditation to diet, but nothing works.

I used to have a high libido, but I haven't wanted to have sex with him in years. We do it maybe two or three times a month because I force myself to, but it is unpleasant for me. He doesn't want to guilt me into sex and hates that I force myself, but he has a very high libido.

We are in our mid-20s and I know this is killing him -- and us. I am attracted to some (but very few) others -- just not to him. I have always been more emotionally attracted to women than men, but I don't think that is it. I need help before our marriage starts to crumble. -- AVOIDING IT IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR AVOIDING IT: I can't wave a magic wand and make you more physically attracted to your husband. I can suggest that the most sensitive sexual organ in a woman's body resides between her ears.

However, I am not qualified to diagnose whether your problem may be of a physical nature. That's why I'm advising you to ask your doctor to perform a thorough physical examination. If he or she finds nothing amiss, ask the doctor -- or your health insurance company -- to refer you to a licensed mental health professional who can help you figure out what's going on.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved to a new town last year and are working on settling in and making friends. Our way has been to accept every invitation offered in hopes of building relationships in this small community.

We recently had dinner at the home of a neighbor couple who were very welcoming, but we quickly realized the four of us have absolutely nothing in common. Making conversation through the meal and coffee taxed all of our small-talk skills, and there were many painful silences. Any foray into current events, family life -- even gardening -- revealed stark differences that brought conversation to a screeching halt. We made an excuse to go home early and sent a thank-you note the next day.

Usually, I think a dinner invitation requires a reciprocal invitation in the future. In this case, I'm wondering if it would be better to just let it go. Would it be rude to not reciprocate, or must I suck it up? If we must have them over, how do I ensure the second dinner goes better than the first? We hope to live here for a long time. -- DIFFERENT IN THE WEST

DEAR DIFFERENT: Do the right thing and invite the couple for dinner. It does not have to be in your home -- a nice restaurant would do. If the evening was as uncomfortable as you have described, they may not accept your invitation. But if they do, a way to make conversation flow more easily might be to include another couple.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law found out I smoke marijuana. I have a medical card and some mental disabilities. Marijuana helps with my anxiety.

Although we live near each other, my in-laws now say they don't want me in their homes. The stress this has put on my husband is unfair. His brother obviously has a problem with me.

I never discuss marijuana with anyone and don't carry it around with me. I use it only in the privacy of my home. How should I expect my husband to handle holidays or even regular get-togethers? I really need help. -- UNFAIR IN NEVADA

DEAR UNFAIR: Medical and recreational marijuana are legal for adults in the state of Nevada. I wish you had mentioned how your brother-in-law learned you are using it. That it is being used as an excuse to isolate you is cruel.

How your husband chooses to handle further contact -- or lack of it -- with his relatives will be his personal decision. Not knowing how close they have been, I can't guess what his next step should be -- except to point out that his first loyalty should be to you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a sophomore in high school, and I need some boy help. I go to a small school, where there are only 60 sophomores, and we're all pretty close.

There's this one guy that I kind of like, but I don't know how to strike up a conversation with him. I know I could ask him for rides to places, since he can drive and I can't yet.

My problem is I have no classes with him this year, so I can't do any of the "can you help me with homework" or "did you understand this concept" flirting. He invites me to his parties, but he does that with almost everyone.

I know this is a bit of a random jumble of a letter, but I'm hoping for advice on how to start a conversation, especially because we share no classes. -- SMALL SCHOOL PROBLEM

DEAR SMALL SCHOOL PROBLEM: Discuss current events, pop culture or school activities. Tell him about things you like. Because many high school-age boys are interested in sports, find out which ones he's interested in and ask questions about those. Unless he's sports-averse, I can almost guarantee it'll generate conversation.

DEAR ABBY: Today I received the best news ever. My son and his wife are expecting their first child. I am beyond happy for them.

I was so excited, I couldn't wait to tell my husband. His reaction? "Don't tell me 'Cathy' is pregnant! I hope your son will be able to support it!" "IT" is my future first grandchild -- and my husband's first (step-)grandchild.

My son and his wife do very well financially. He has a great job and is up for a promotion. I always feel like no matter what I say, my husband always has to put a negative spin on it. Or am I overreacting? -- HAPPY GRANDMA-TO-BE

DEAR HAPPY: Your husband either has a questionable sense of humor or enjoys putting people down. Surely you knew this before you married him, so rather than dwell on it, choose not to let him rain on your parade.

DEAR ABBY: We have some friends who take a couple of expensive extended vacations each year. They go to Europe and take cruises. For the last four years, they have never once booked ground transportation from home to the airport and back. Instead, they rely on friends to take them to the airport.

They have plenty of money. They are just too cheap to pay for a shuttle, cab or limo. They never offer to put gas in the car or pay for the parking. It is a 45-minute drive in heavy traffic.

They are getting ready for another trip. What should I say when asked? Please give me your thoughts on their behavior. -- UNHAPPY ABOUT THIS IN GEORGIA

DEAR UNHAPPY: These friends appear to be centered on themselves. Rather than fume about it, the next time you are asked to drive them to the airport, tell them you have a conflict and are unavailable.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old professional man who loves children, but never had any of my own. Consequently, I have never had to contend with the considerable cost of raising children. Many of my friends are parents, and I feel the urge to buy their kids nice presents I know they want, or that I never received when I was a child, e.g., a wonderful bike or train set.

What's the protocol for giving an expensive gift (e.g., a saxophone that can cost $1,000) to non-related children without creating awkwardness or obligation? Naturally, I would always check with the parents first. (All of us are white-collar executives and employed, but no one is "filthy rich.") -- GIFT GIVER IN OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR GIFT GIVER: The protocol is the one you are already observing, which is to have a conversation with the parents before buying expensive gifts for their children. And when you do, make clear that it is not your wish to cause awkwardness or a sense of obligation.

DEAR ABBY: I am increasingly reluctant to attend social and church events because several members of our group photograph everything and post the pictures online. My husband and I are private people, and we are uncomfortable with this. Why do people think they have the right to do this, and what can we do to stop it? -- DISCOURAGED IN THE EAST

DEAR DISCOURAGED: People post photos of themselves, their activities, their meals, etc. for a variety of reasons. Because you and your husband prefer not to be "memorialized" this way, tell the person taking the photos that you prefer to remain out of camera range -- and request that in the future, any shot you might "accidentally" be in not be posted. If the person demands to know why, say, "Because I don't want anyone from the IRS to find us."