DEAR MISS MANNERS: About once a month or so, when I attend a social function, I bring a gift or floral bouquet to the host. Often this involves carrying the gift or flowers on foot through a public area on the way to the gathering -- for example, along the sidewalk, if I park a block or two away from the host’s home, or through the lobby of a hotel or apartment building.
Almost invariably, a stranger will say something like, “For me? Oh, you shouldn’t have!” or “Roses, my favorite! How nice of you!” If this occurs in an elevator, where we are all trapped for a minute or two, I have even had the other person attempt to take the gift out of my hands (on more than one occasion).
I never know how to respond in these situations. I am aware that the other person views this as an attempt at humor, and I do not wish to cause a scene. But it does make me feel uncomfortable, especially in the elevator scenario.
What is your suggestion for an appropriate response?
GENTLE READER: A proper response to someone attempting to grab something of yours in an elevator is, “Get your hands off my property.” Miss Manners might throw in a “please” in recognition of the jocose intention.
The equally unfunny remarks need not be acknowledged at all. But you could respond to “You shouldn’t have” with a firm “Well, I didn’t,” and to “How nice of you” with an unsmiling “I hope the recipient thinks so.”