DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend is wonderful -- attentive, trustworthy and a devoted fan of yours! He's so wonderful, in fact, that I'm ashamed to explain how his amiable disposition troubles me.

My primary concern is that he's on friendly terms with each of his former girlfriends! He says that even though he's no longer in love with any of his exes, he hopes to keep each one as a lifelong friend.

This is difficult for me. I do not enjoy reading upbeat comments from these exes on his social media posts. I cannot stand that my boyfriend expects me to share his enthusiasm when one happens to be passing through town and asks to meet us for lunch.

Worst of all? One ex-girlfriend lives just down the block from us! It's tedious, crossing paths with her at the grocery store or the post office. It takes every ounce of energy I possess just to smile and greet her by name.

Once I even boarded a city bus to find her sitting beside my boyfriend in the same seat. I was furious.

My boyfriend was hurt and taken aback by my anger. He doesn't understand why I find interacting with these women to be so unpleasant. He also thinks my request for him to terminate these friendships is unreasonable.

Friends argue that because my boyfriend is considerably older than me, he has had more time to develop non-threatening friendships with former lovers. That it's not unusual, and the fact that he doesn't hide them from me is also commendable.

Does etiquette permit close friendships between exes, or is my discomfort justified? Should I attempt to overcome my uneasiness around these women, and appreciate having a boyfriend who refuses to hold grudges over past breakups?

GENTLE READER: You think the gentleman is wonderful. Other ladies think he is wonderful. Even Miss Manners, who has never met him (but finds herself susceptible to his flattery), thinks he sounds wonderful.

So why do you want to treat him as if he is not?

Would you be happier if he harbored unresolved grudges against these ladies, was sneaking off to see them without you, and would be willing to help you figure out how to run one of them out of the neighborhood?

Your suggestion of overcoming petty feelings and appreciating the kinder disposition of your beau is an excellent one. Please make more of an effort to follow it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How many strands of pearls is too many? I had always heard that a lady should never wear more than three at one time. Now I see so many starlets and even Michelle Obama wearing five or six or more.

It still looks trashy to me. Have times changed?

GENTLE READER: Of course times have changed, but what do pearls care? With their innocent look, they don't have to obey the rules that restrict their flashier peers.

Miss Manners supposes it is technically possible to wear too many pearls. But five, seven or even nine strands (in a choker worn on a very long neck) have never been considered trashy.

Notice that the possibility of four, six or eight strands was not mentioned. That is because pearls do not lead a totally unrestricted existence. As Miss Manners' dear grandmother took care to teach her, "A lady does not wear an even number of strands of pearls."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know someone who is in the late stages of a terminal illness. This person received one of those colorful, lovely animated email greeting cards from a close family member. The e-card wished the "Best New Year" for the coming year.

The recipient was shocked that someone would send such a thing. Even if it was the result of a thoughtless failure to edit a mass-mailing list, it seems a horrible breach of manners. The recipient was very hurt and said so. What do you think, Miss Manners?

GENTLE READER: That mass mailings do no one any good.

The failure to consider the feelings of the recipient is stunning in this instance, Miss Manners agrees. But even in ordinary cases, it must be obvious this has to do with checking off a list, not greeting individuals.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an American who lives permanently in an English-speaking country where the local accent is much different. I don't mind being asked where I'm from, as it's always a friendly question, but I am fed up with being told some variant of, "Oh, you still sound American."

Yes, this is how I speak, and I guarantee that any attempt on my part to mimic the locals' way of speech would be met with derision and scorn. Please, I beg you (in my best natural accent), provide me with an appropriate response.

GENTLE READER: "Thank you."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I recently did business for the first time with some very nice people. There was a bit of a mix-up, and to make things right, they offered to take me out to dinner.

After dinner, one of them enthusiastically said something like, "We are going to be great friends!"

I had only been acquainted with these people for three days, and they live across the country and rarely visit this area. Furthermore, I know that they are hoping to leave the door open for future business with me, which would benefit them financially (albeit by a very small sum).

In fact, I would love to be friends with them, as they are simply enchanting and very well-respected. However, I felt that they could not possibly be serious about this, so I simply said something like, "How nice of you!" They picked up on it and joked that I didn't want to be their friend.

I guess I am being too cold. Maybe a person with better social skills would have said, "Yes, we'll be great friends!" with the understanding that everyone involved knew this to be untrue. Right?

GENTLE READER: So you would like to be friends with these people, but are pre-emptively squashing it by suspecting their motives? Miss Manners congratulates you on successfully closing that door.

Had it not occurred to you that with modern technology, you would be able to communicate easily in the future -- and should either party happen to be in the other's city in the future, you could have enjoyed another pleasant outing? Not to mention the business aspect that could have been mutually beneficial.

Everyone, please stop subscribing motives to innocuous statements and being "completely honest."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been having a discussion with my sister-in-law, who stated that it is not correct anymore to say thank you, either in writing or verbally, for receiving a gift, and I should not expect it. The gifts in question are given from us via my sister-in-law to her daughter and their family.

I say yes, she says no, and to stop expecting this simple courtesy. Please let me know.

GENTLE READER: When gratitude is no longer required in response to generosity, Miss Manners will be sure to let you know. But you might warn your sister-in-law and her family that this could happen only with the simultaneous death of generosity.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been seeing a gorgeous woman for about two weeks. I have arranged to have a single red rose in a bud vase and chocolates delivered to her for her birthday.

I know she will call or text me to say thank you. Without wanting to sound too clingy or silly, how should I acknowledge her thank-you? We both agree to be patient and allow our relationship to grow. So???????

GENTLE READER: Thanks do not require acknowledgment by the giver.

Miss Manners realizes this is not what you want to hear, since you are hoping to be invited to share the chocolates, presumably before they melt. If you cannot rein in your emotions to this extent, she would settle for you reining in your punctuation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In recent years, as people use the telephone increasingly less, I find that most of my plans with friends are made via email, text message and even social media wall posts.

I would not have a problem with this if these so-called friends actually kept our engagements. In this last week alone, I have found myself cyber- (and text-) stalking three friends to confirm plans we have made. And more often than not, these attempts are not responded to -- even when the other person extended the invitation to begin with.

I find myself spending a lot of weekends alone when the Monday before I might have had two or three social plans. Is it me, is it my "friends," or is it the new tech- and self-obsessed American culture? Am I being shunned for a more attractive plan?

GENTLE READER: In another sense, you are not alone.

While the sanctity of an invitation proffered and accepted has been under attack for some time, the advent of the text and email invitation accelerated the process. The ephemeral nature of such invitations make them hard to take seriously.

Miss Manners would like to believe that handwritten invitations would solve your problem, but you may need to change not only the method of delivery, but also the correspondents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My girlfriend insists on talking to her phone using a voice-to-text application. She does this to send text messages or to answer social media posts, insisting that it is much easier than typing a text message.

My perspective is that it is fine to do that, but very rude to do it in the presence of others. The whole point of texting is to do it discreetly and quietly. What are your thoughts?

GENTLE READER: Being seen or heard to be texting is equally rude when in the presence of live people. Miss Manners notes, however, that your girlfriend's method has the advantage of providing entertainment to those present when her phone repeats back its garbled interpretation of her message.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)