DEAR MISS MANNERS: Several years ago, our guests stopped sending us thank-you notes. They stay at our weekend house for days on end, being wined, dined and pampered, and then we receive an email: ”It was so lovely. Thanks.” Now it appears they no longer call or send birthday cards. On my birthday, I receive “e-cards” and am told where to go on the net to see them. Should I feel content with this? At least they remembered my birthday (although doubtless because a programmed reminder popped up on their e-calendars).

GENTLE READER: Your guests would likely protest that they did not stop sending thank-you notes and birthday cards. They merely reduced the amount of effort required on their part. If they were feeling defensive, they might even assert a moral improvement in their approach -- the virtue of responding more quickly or saving a piece of paper. None of this would convince Miss Manners, who, like yourself, cannot help thinking that the reduction in effort reflects a commensurate reduction in the sentiment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents, who own a large empty nest, offered to provide free room and board to a cousin while he was a student. After a couple of years, my mother was tired of having the cousin living with them, although my father rather enjoyed his company.

Eventually, my mother had harsh words for the cousin, who abruptly moved out, with angry feelings on both sides. Now my mother is angry that after cooking for the cousin and making him part of their lives, she not only has not pleased his family, but they openly dislike her.

The cousin’s family told me that my parents expected him to help maintain the large empty nest; their version is that my parents exploited him by expecting him to do chores. (When my siblings and I lived at home, we did a lot of chores, and I’m sure my parents thought the cousin would do the same when living there.) I don’t know who is right or who is wrong, but I do know everyone is mad.

GENTLE READER: Instead of harsh words at the conclusion of this arrangement, your parents should have issued some cautionary words at the beginning.

Seasoned guests may not need to be told that a long-term visitor is more like a member of the family than a guest (and in this case, he actually is a member of the family). But a youth who is asked to help could have it explained to him that while members of the household have privileges -- they usually arrange their schedules for their own convenience, and come and go freely without consulting the hosts -- they also assume responsibilities.

That the cousin’s parents don’t understand that, either, is discouraging, although not surprising. Miss Manners is guessing that the most that can be done to resume friendly relations is for you to point out that your parents treated the cousin as one of their own.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a visit with my niece, I brought a phone charger to plug in, but for some reason it did not function properly. With the hosts’ phones, mine, and those of the other houseguests, there were six phones in the house with only three or four cords, so charging was a “take turns” event.

While things went swimmingly in sharing, what would be the expected priority on who gets the charger? Houseguest, host, adults, children?

It would be nice to know for the next get-together, just in case. That way I could tell them, “Well, Miss Manners said!!!” Just kidding. Miss Manners has taught me not to be so uncouth!

GENTLE READER: Oh, no, you don’t. There isn’t going to be a next time, because you will have learned to check your cord before you leave home.

Decades ago, Miss Manners was plagued with questions about guests who tied up their hosts’ landlines and made expensive calls. Then people acquired cellphones -- but not yet smartphones, tablets and laptops -- and wanted to tie up their hosts’ computers.

Now we have easily portable electronics, and guests are responsible for bringing what they intend to use, just as they bring their own toothbrushes. It would be kind of hosts to provide emergency supplies of either, if they happen to have them.

A guest who has such an emergency should ask apologetically to borrow a cord when it does not inconvenience the family, including the children, and return it quickly. A houseguest, presumably staying longer, should run out to the nearest electronics store.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude to eat while walking in public? By “public,” I’m thinking of a mall or a sidewalk in a city.

I imagine the answer turns on what you are eating: hard candy, an energy bar, ice cream, an apple, french fries, a hot dog from a street vendor, a cheeseburger from a fast-food restaurant, etc. If the food matters, where, if at all, is the line to be drawn? Or is it just a matter of your eating neatly and being sure to properly dispose of any leftovers?

GENTLE READER: The European city to which Miss Manners retreats when she needs a major dose of public politeness has just outlawed the selling of food to be eaten on the streets, thus reducing trash, mess and smells. Very sensible, she believes.

She also agrees with the city’s one exception: ice cream. It doesn’t smell, the wrapping is edible, and it looks more cheerful than sloppy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If you tell the cook the food is overdone, is it a insult?

GENTLE READER: The cook thinks so, and would have some choice words to say about your taste. That is why you should let the waiter deliver the message, along with the rejected food.

If there is no waiter involved, as in a personal setting, Miss Manners requires you to swallow the comment, if not the food.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After a long flight from overseas, my plane landed and I called my family to say that I had arrived safely. A few minutes after this phone call, and after going through customs, I realized that I had either left my phone on my seat or it had fallen out of my pocket when I went to retrieve my bag from the overhead compartment.

My phone had a case storing my credit card and driver’s license. As I could not return to the plane myself, I found a security guard, who found a representative from the airline to assist me.

Before I could explain what happened, she snapped, “How could you be so irresponsible and not check for all your valuables before leaving the flight?”

I was taken aback and could only mumble in response. I finally must have asked if there was anything that could be done. She said that she was not able to go to the plane and the only thing was to wait to see if the cleaning crew retrieved it.

Luckily, a few moments later, a different representative arrived with my phone. I thanked them politely and walked away.

However, I was so taken aback by this customer service rep. How should I have responded to her? I agree that I should have double-checked for my valuables before leaving the plane, but after a 10-hour flight, I was very tired and obviously, though unintentionally, overlooked it.

GENTLE READER: People are going to tell you that you are lucky they didn’t beat you up. And airline employees are going to tell you that you are the 112th person that day to forget something after their clear announcement about checking for personal belongings.

Nevertheless, this was unprofessional and rude. Those who take jobs dealing with the public should know how to deal with their own understandable exasperation. And as you had already failed to heed the warning, the representative accomplished nothing -- except to get you to vow never to take that airline again (unless the flight is cheap and convenient).

Miss Manners would have said tersely, “Thank you for your courtesy” while checking the person’s nameplate.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My dinner parties now include sushi for either the appetizer or the main course, yet I cannot find a satisfactory answer on where to place the stainless chopsticks.

I cannot replace the regular utensils, because not all guests use the chopsticks. I initially set them above the dinner plate, where the dessert service would be, which caused much confusion, as I always serve dessert. If it matters, this would be a four-course formal dinner.

GENTLE READER: You are in luck. Japanese chopsticks are correctly placed horizontally at the bottom edge of the plate, thus not competing with the flatware positioned at the sides and top of the plate for the other three courses.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to have a money tree at a baby shower?

GENTLE READER: If you want the baby to grow up to be a little beggar who believes that money grows on trees.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)