DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends just came on to me, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I love her, for sure. We have been close friends for more than 10 years. I feel so stupid because I didn’t even know she was gay. We have talked about my boyfriends over the years. I just broke up with a guy I dated for three years. She mostly skirts the issue when I ask her about dating. She talks about being busy with work and other things. I never pressed her. I was shocked when we hung out at my house and she tried to kiss me. I flinched, and the moment got way awkward.

We haven’t talked about it since, but I think we need to. I value her friendship. Even though I don’t want to have a romantic relationship with her, I still love her. And I don’t care if she’s gay. I just am not interested in her in that way. What can I say to her that won’t hurt her feelings? -- Fractured Friendship, Atlanta

DEAR FRACTURE FRIENDSHIP: Start by telling her exactly what you told me. Remind her how much you love her and how important your friendship is. Tell her you were startled when she tried to kiss you because you didn’t know she was gay or that she was interested in you. Apologize for hurting her feelings because you didn’t want to kiss her.

Reiterate that you want your friendship with her to remain strong and that you felt it was important to talk about this directly because you don’t want anything to stand in the way of your bond. Ask her to tell you how she’s feeling. Encourage her to talk about her life. She may need to expand the conversation you have been having to include her romantic life as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 11-year-old son fancies himself an artist. In his school they have made all kinds of projects, and over the summer we sent him to an art camp to support his interests. The thing is that the camp counselors gave us, his parents, a report similar to what we already thought: He has limited talent. He is eager to work on whatever he is told to do, but so far his work is uninspired, even pedestrian.

Should my husband and I continue to act as if our son has talent, or should we be honest? I fear that in this world of the internet and gazillions of talent shows, we aren’t doing him any favors pretending he’s the next Picasso when it’s doubtful that he could even sell his work on the street. -- Not an Artist, Philadelphia

DEAR NOT AN ARTIST: I would not discourage him. Let him see his teacher’s reports so he knows how he is being evaluated, but also let him explore his creativity. Today it’s art. Tomorrow it could easily be something else. If he shows interest in other areas, offer to send him to a class so he can learn more about whatever that might be.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have family in Texas and have been begging them to come and stay with me. Already my Houston family has been displaced, but they want to stay in town to clean up and try to get their lives back. I understand they need to get their insurance activated and all, but they are living in a temporary shelter. I don’t see why they can’t work on the phone with the insurance company and governmental offices at least for the short term.

My cousins are not listening to the voice of reason, at least as far as I am concerned. How can I get them to reconsider? They have two young children. I don’t think a shelter is any place for them during this time. -- Rescue Mode, Cincinnati

DEAR RESCUE MODE: You cannot force your family to come to you even if you do think it’s a good idea. You might consider offering to take their children until they get their home back. It might be possible for you to get them into a local school temporarily. Offer to help them in that way.

If that option is not viable either, ask what you can do to support them. They may need money -- even if it’s a small amount. Make it clear that your interest is in supporting them in whatever ways you can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time the U.S. Open happens, my parents start up again saying they want me to become a tennis player. I like the game a lot, but mainly I like to watch it. My dad played tennis in high school and college, and he wanted to go pro but never qualified. I think he wants to live vicariously through me.

The thing is that I like to play volleyball some, but more I’m into music. I play the clarinet, and I want to be able to see how far I can go with that. How can I convince my dad especially that I need to follow my dreams, not his? -- Music, Not Tennis, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR MUSIC, NOT TENNIS: It’s time to drum up the courage to speak directly to your father about your dreams. Point out that you know how passionate he is about tennis, because that was his dream as a young man. Make it clear your dreams are different. Sports in general is not at the top of your list, and definitely not tennis. Yes, you enjoy watching it, but you do not want to play it.

What you do want to play is the clarinet. Do some research on what you can do with the clarinet -- such as playing in an orchestra -- so you can tell your father how interested you really are in pursuing the instrument. Don’t overplay it, though. If you love the clarinet as a hobby, say that. If you want to consider going pro, let your dad know. Ask him to give you space to figure out what you want to do with your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a teenage daughter who has been lovely thus far. When people have warned me about how teens turn on their parents, I’ve shrugged it off. I figure if I focus on the positive, we can create space for less drama. Because this is my attitude, I find myself in an uncomfortable place.

My daughter has begun to be very snippy with me, and it turns out she hasn’t been honest. As we were getting ready for school to start, I discovered she had not completed her summer homework. She had months to get it done and ended up cramming it in the two weeks leading up to school. I was so angry. There were some tense words between us. I took her phone away from her until she got the work done. What else can I do to keep her on track? -- Drop the Attitude, Denver

DEAR DROP THE ATTITUDE: You can still focus on the positive and point out to your daughter that her life will be more productive and pleasant if she manages her time better and meets her deadlines. You can help by letting her know you will be checking in with her daily to ensure she completes her assignments on time. She will not appreciate this. You can let her know you must monitor her work daily until you see she is on top of it.

Give her a month of daily check-ins. After that time, if she is doing well consistently, you can move to weekly check-ins. If she does not complete assignments in a timely manner or with enough attention, take away privileges -- from the phone to spending time with friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going out with a nice guy for a few months. He is very old school in that he brings me a gift of some kind at each date. There’s something sweet about this, but also something annoying. I can’t quite pinpoint it. I guess what I like is his attentiveness, but I don’t eat chocolate. I don’t like tchotchkes. I have a modern, streamlined life. Somehow he doesn’t seem to notice what I like. Do I say anything to him about his gifts? I feel bad continuing to accept things that I throw away when I get home. -- Bad Presents, Laurel, Maryland

DEAR BAD PRESENTS: It is good to be honest in a tender way. You might tell this man you appreciate that he brings you gifts all the time, but it really isn’t necessary. Suggest you get to know each other better so you can figure out each other's interests. If he asks why, you can admit you don’t eat chocolate, even though it was a lovely thought. Don’t go down the list of all that you don’t like, though. Make it fun so you discover each other’s preferences. When you give him a gift, be sure it’s something you know he will like!