DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Why is it so many older women use younger men for an ego boost?

I’m mainly attracted to women ten to twenty years older than me, but they mostly all just lead me on to get an ego boost and then tell me they are too old for me. What they really mean is that I am not old enough for them. And I suspect they also mean I don’t have enough money for their liking either.

If they thought that the age difference is too great, they should have never engaged in a date in the first place.

It’s hard to get all excited about finally having someone to connect with and then find out yet again I was just being used to make them feel pretty and wanted, then cast aside.

How do I communicate before the first date that if they just want a fling or a one-week “flirtationship” that I’m not interested? --- LOOKING FOR AN HONEST OLDER WOMAN

DEAR LOOKING FOR AN HONEST OLDER WOMAN: Not all mature women are just out for an ego boost. I’ve known several successful older woman/younger man couples. It comes down to both halves of the couple looking past age and, like in any potential long-term relationship, finding enough common ground to both stand on and move forward through over time.

The only way you’re going to know if there’s a potential for that kind of a partnership is to approach the first date with your eyes wide open, your heart on guard, and a willingness to be the one to put on the breaks if things seem to be moving towards the physical too fast. If she’s looking for something more than a fling, she should want to invest time in you and not just your youth.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: If I hadn’t seen it, I would never believe it. Last Saturday my sister and a three of our old friends were out at the restaurant we usually go to when we’re all home for a visit. We have been going to this place for years. After we paid the bill, I headed to the restroom and when I came out, I saw one of our friends slipping the tips we left into her bag. Everyone else was out in front of the restaurant waiting for us, with them thinking our friend had gone back to get something she left at the table. Well she certainly did get something.

I mentioned what I saw to my sister, but now we don’t know what to do. Should we tell the others? Should we confront our friend with what I know? --- FRIEND OF A TIP THIEF

DEAR FRIEND OF A TIP THIEF: I can think of a few reasons why your friend took the tip. She could be hard up for cash, she could be greedy, she could think it’s funny. Whatever her motive, it’s not a normal thing to do and you need to talk to her about it, privately. I can’t see what would be gained by mentioning the situation to your other friends until you have a better idea of what’s going on with your tip-taking buddy.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: In your overall opinion, if a small gift and card is mailed to someone, what is the acceptable amount of time to acknowledge the gift?

I have just one sibling, a brother. We get along fine. He’s a very busy person, but I think he can reply sooner than what he thinks. --- WAITING FOR A THANK YOU

DEAR WAITING FOR A THANK YOU: That your brother is busy is not an excuse for his failing to acknowledge your gifts in a timely fashion. It doesn’t take long to shoot someone an email or text, or simply pick up the phone and call ─ at the least.

If you don’t hear from him within a couple weeks of when you think he should have received your gift, I see nothing wrong with asking point blank if the gift has made it to him. That could trigger his responding with not only a confirmation, but thanks.

Also, make sure you’re setting the example of reaching out to him when you receive something he sends you.