DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, whom I have known for many years, remarried her ex-husband a few years ago. I didn't know her when she was married to him the first time.

My husband and I don't like him. The last time we met for lunch, her husband showed my husband a gun he was carrying in his pocket! Abby, he's an elderly man with a tremor in his hands. She keeps emailing me about the four of us meeting again, and we are both scared to meet them since he's armed and has that tremor. We are afraid it could accidentally go off and shoot one of us. I don't know what to tell her. Any advice? -- FRIGHTENED IN TEXAS

DEAR FRIGHTENED: Keep in mind that carrying a gun is legal in Texas. Also, many guns have safety devices so they don't fire accidentally. There is a difference between not liking someone and being afraid of socializing with an armed person. You don't have to sacrifice your long friendship with this woman. If you don't want to see them as a couple, get together with her separately.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his wife have quit speaking to my husband and me because I gave them COVID. At their invitation, we took a trip with them to Hawaii. I began feeling ill on the plane and tested positive the next day. A couple days later, my son got sick, and then a few days later, his wife got it. I told them repeatedly how sorry I was that I'd infected them and spoiled their vacation.

We always had a close relationship -- frequent phone calls, visits, dinners, etc. -- but for the last six weeks, nothing. He told his brother he was furious because I tried to "kill" them. I'm at a loss about what to do, if anything. What would Dear Abby do? -- GUILTY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GUILTY: What Dear Abby would do is give your son some time to cool off and then reach out and apologize again. He needs to grow up. You didn't make anyone sick on purpose, and it just as easily could have been your son or daughter-in-law infecting you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in love with a man for more than 30 years. We never married, but he calls me his wife. I'm aware of his infidelity and accept him as-is. I am also involved with my youngest child's father, who I have also been around for 15 years. I'm caught between the two and can't find the way out. My child's father provides financially, but emotionally the man of 30 years is who I want. My problem is, he won't commit. Please help. -- TORN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR TORN: If either of these two men wanted marriage, it would have happened years ago. If you really want someone to build a stable future with, look for someone who can give you more stability than these two "prizes." Find a man who is available and willing. Right now, you are just treading water, which will get you no further than you are today.

DEAR ABBY: After being married overseas, my daughter recently held a wedding reception stateside. My husband and his sister were able to attend the wedding. I could not because of serious business obligations, so I was really looking forward to the local reception.

My sister-in-law, who lost her husband 18 months ago, sat next to me and cried most of the evening. Since I don't see her often, I made a point of giving her my full attention. At the end of the dinner, I got up to use the restroom, which was located about 100 feet away. I was gone less than three minutes. I came back, and we left.

A few days later, my daughter posted a group photo from which I am absent. When I asked my husband about it, he replied, "You were in the bathroom." I am so hurt! He is supposed to be my advocate. Why didn't his sister say, "Let's wait for the mother of the bride"? Now I'm in none of the wedding pictures, and I feel betrayed by the people who should have stepped up for me at that important moment. I cried by myself for hours afterward. Should I keep my mouth shut since there's nothing I can do about it now, or point out how they left me feeling invisible? -- MISSING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MISSING: When you've gotta go, you've gotta go. Yes, it was thoughtless of your husband, his sister and the bride not to have noticed or questioned your absence when the photos were being taken. But bringing it up now will hardly make anyone feel better for the oversight. A more proactive stance would be to state that, in the future, if photos are taken, it might make sense to take a roll call. Then hope they take you up on it.

DEAR ABBY: As a child, I was verbally and emotionally abused by my only parent. I have written an unpublished book about my experiences. Would it be wrong to publish it while my abuser is alive? I would publish it using my real name. Other names I have changed in my writing.

For the last 15 years, I have not had a relationship with this parent. We live a continent apart. They never reached out even when I battled cancer. I guess I'm still feeling the effects of the conditioning from the abuse. I am 60 now, with a family of my own. My husband of 35 years and our children, as well as a sibling I am very close with, support my publishing the book. My sibling also suffered the same fate. -- SURVIVOR IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SURVIVOR: If you feel it would be cathartic to publish your autobiography, I encourage you to do it. HOWEVER, before doing it, consult an attorney so you can protect yourself should your abusive parent threaten to sue you for publicly unmasking them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating this guy for five years. Two years ago, one of his friends came on to me through a text. I told him I'm not the kind of woman who cheats. He respected that and didn't text me again. I told my boyfriend the very next day, and he no longer trusts me! Ever since then, he questions what I'm doing and where I am and accuses me of lying every time. He thinks I have slept with every one of his friends. He tracks me. He put cameras up and accuses me of deleting everything.

I have never cheated on him or even thought about it. All of his accusations are pushing me away. He wants me to take a lie detector test to prove I'm innocent. I don't feel I should have to take one when I'm doing nothing wrong. I literally sit in my house and go nowhere but the grocery store. I don't talk to a single person.

I chose to do all that so he would stop accusing me, but he always finds something wrong. Should I take this test to prove he's been wrong about me this whole time? Part of me worries that even if I take this test, he will find something else and it's never gonna stop. -- PRISONER IN OHIO

DEAR PRISONER: Red flag alert! Your boyfriend's insecurity is off the charts. His controlling behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own insecurities. What he is doing to you is sick and abusive. You will never be able to assuage this man's suspicions.

For your safety, I urge you to end this romance while you still have enough self-esteem to manage it. If you are afraid for your safety as you do that, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and ask for guidance.

DEAR ABBY: Some of my friends discuss their plans in front of me without inviting me along. Am I right to feel excluded? I'm a woman in my late 20s, and I feel stung when friends and roommates make plans to hang out without me while I'm standing there. One close friend often reminisces to me about girls' nights and outings with our mutual friends. It hurts, and it has made me feel like I'm not part of the group.

When I told them how this made me feel, they assured me we were indeed friends and said I was being "too sensitive." I value these friends. Because they are roommates, I can't avoid them. For the most part, they're kind and conscientious. Should I bring up my hurt feelings again or drop the issue and withdraw? -- ODD GIRL OUT

DEAR GIRL: You may be "too sensitive," but your roommates clearly aren't sensitive enough. It is rude to do what they have been doing. If I thought mentioning your hurt feelings would help the situation, I'd advise you to do that, as well. A better course of action would be to drop the issue and concentrate on making new friends.