DEAR ABBY: We have an annual weekend family reunion that includes family and significant others along with their children. Most of the children are adults now. One of them (my niece) was recently married and is asking if her new husband's sister (and possibly her boyfriend) can come to the reunion.

We don't have anyone other than immediate family attend, although we do have a special attendee this year. My brother-in-law's mother is here from South America. She will be coming only for the day rather than the whole weekend. How do I politely refuse my niece's request without hurting her feelings? -- MORE OR MERRIER?

DEAR M. OR M.: An exception has already been made for your brother-in-law's mother. I'm not sure you can refuse to include your niece's new husband's sister (and possibly her boyfriend) this time around without causing hurt feelings. Throw a few more hot dogs on the grill and cross your fingers that everyone will have a good time "just this once."

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 34 years. My husband often accuses me of having cheated on him and being disrespectful to him throughout our marriage. I have said some things in ways I agree were disrespectful, especially after I have been accused of lying, etc. However, I have never cheated or lied to him, as he so often accuses me of. What do you advise? -- HONEST IN GEORGIA

DEAR HONEST: I wish you had written to me about this when it started. If you had, I would have pointed out that people who accuse their partners of lying to them and cheating on them often have done exactly that themselves. He's accusing you of disrespect? What do you think he has been doing? Tell your accuser/abuser that if he has proof of his accusations, he should come with you to a marriage and family therapist and discuss it, or you are going to leave him. Then, depending upon his response, follow through.

DEAR ABBY: My grandson is transgender and gets very hurt when I misgender his name. I am nearly 80 and use "she" sometimes when talking to him. I wrote him a letter at college (we exchange letters all the time) and told him my brain is old, and if I keep saying "she" when we talk, maybe we should just keep writing and see each other less often if it keeps hurting him. Did I do the right thing? -- MISTAKEN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MISTAKEN: You may have meant well, but I don't think it was a wise choice. Unintentional misgendering is a fact of life in many families with a transgender loved one. Seeing your grandson less often is not going to cure the problem you're experiencing. Seeing him MORE often may give you the opportunity to become more comfortable with his true identity.

DEAR ABBY: I am recently divorced after a 37-year marriage. My boyfriend, "Grant," has been divorced for a long time. He is a lovely man -- honest, intelligent, healthy, helpful, neat and a great communicator. Our physical relationship is wonderful, too.

My problem? Grant has two small dogs that sleep in bed with him. They have since they were puppies. They are 11 and 13 years old now. I have a large dog that sleeps in his bed on the floor and is not allowed on any furniture. He doesn't shed. The dogs all get along fine.

I slept in Grant's bed once when his dogs were at the kennel and was grossed out by the dog hair on the sheets, comforter, etc., even after the sheets had been washed. Having dogs in the bed would disrupt my sleep, so if I spend the night, I sleep in Grant's guest room. (He doesn't think it's fair to disrupt his "kids'" sleeping arrangements after all these years.) I'd much rather fall asleep and wake up next to him, but this happens only on vacations away from home.

I'm tired of sleeping apart but don't feel like giving any ultimatums. Is he right to not want to disrupt the dogs' sleeping habits to accommodate me once or twice a week? -- SLEEPING SOLO IN OREGON

DEAR SLEEPING SOLO: I think your boyfriend is right. Because Grant has habituated his dogs to sleeping in his bed (not to mention that the bed is filthy), I don't think it would be practical to disrupt them at this stage of their lives. On the nights you're at his place, it might make more sense for Grant to spend the night in the guest room with you until his sleeping buddies cross the rainbow bridge.

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, I became acquainted with a Catholic priest after he hired me to give him conversation lessons. (He was visiting from another country; English is not his first language.) We hit it off and found we had a lot in common. After the lessons ended, we stayed in touch.

Not long after that, he returned to his home country. Since then, we have emailed and texted regularly, and video-chatted over the holidays. I love my friendship with him, and he seems to feel the same way.

To be honest, though, I have a bit of a crush on him. I was hoping it would fade, but it hasn't. I feel somewhat guilty about it and wonder if I am being dishonest by not telling him. Should I say something and risk having the friendship (which I really enjoy) end? Or is it OK to keep these kinds of secrets? -- CRUSHING ON THE COAST

DEAR CRUSHING: As long as your "bit of a crush" doesn't have a negative impact on the rest of your life, I see no reason to burden the priest with this secret. However, if it causes a disruption in the relationships you have (i.e., with a husband or boyfriend), then speak up and be prepared for the relationship to slow down, if not end.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend "Carla" and I haven't spoken for several years, which breaks my heart. Her son was getting married. The dress was evening cocktail attire. The venue was an hour and a half from where I live. I don't drive. At the time, I was having financial difficulties and was worried about the attire and transportation to the venue.

I advised Carla that I had no way to get to the wedding and to Uber to the venue would cost well over $200. I was hoping I could ride with her. The family had rooms at the hotel where the wedding was being held. I was hoping she'd offer that I could go with her and stay the night with her at the hotel. She didn't offer, so I wasn't able to attend.

Carla didn't return my calls and hasn't spoken to me since. We were close friends for 25 years. She has since moved out of state. I miss her terribly. After all this time, would it be wrong to contact her again, or should I just let it go? I have been upset about the situation for years. I'd love your opinion. -- MISSING MY FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MISSING: Weddings can be complicated affairs, and it's likely that Carla was stressed and distracted because of the number of guests and all the activities related to the wedding at the hotel. To have expected her to provide you with transportation and share her room with you may have been regarded as presumptuous.

If you would like to hear her side of this and gain some closure, by all means, reach out. But because you are now so geographically distant, do not expect to resurrect the relationship you had with her.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 44 years, and we have a married son and one grandson. My husband and I moved closer to our son and daughter-in-law five years ago. Once or twice a year, my husband reminds me that I "ruined his life" by forcing him to move closer to our grandson. On top of that, he dislikes our son's mother-in-law, something he has made clear to me. He doesn't want to attend holiday dinners if the mother-in-law is there. (Fortunately, our daughter-in-law is not aware that he dislikes her mother.)

I'm tired of worrying about whether he'll attend our grandson's sports activities or events if the other grandmother is there. At this point, I'm actually considering divorce so I won't be so miserable. Any advice would be appreciated. -- FATIGUED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FATIGUED: Unless you hogtied your husband, he must have agreed to move closer to your son and his family. Is the only reason he's miserable this dislike of his DIL's mother, or is it that he is separated from his friends? If it's the former, go without your husband to your grandson's events and let him stay home. If it's more than that, perhaps it might be better for him to return to the community in which he was more comfortable.