DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can I politely invite someone to my home but also indicate that they should not bring their friends or family with them?

We moved a couple years ago to a different city, and made new friends we really like. We also have neighbors a couple of houses away who will just come over to join any gathering without an invite.

I was hosting dinner for a pair of friends, and they brought a couple of mutual friends with them. I had to stretch the food and was very uncomfortable.

How can I let the neighbor know they are not invited when they just show up? It is becoming a pattern now.

GENTLE READER: Are these two separate situations? Are your guests bringing mutual friends to some dinner parties, and your neighbors just showing up to others? Or are the neighbors showing up at the same time that the friends brought over other friends?

That would indeed stretch the food. But assuming they are separate:

For the friends bringing friends without warning, Miss Manners is afraid there is not much you can do in the moment. The next time you invite them, if you do, you might say, “I enjoyed meeting the McDougals, but wasn’t expecting them. Please do let us know next time if you are thinking of inviting anyone else. We will have to decide whether we can be sufficiently prepared.”

As for the neighbors, just because they show up does not mean you have to invite them in. “I’m afraid that we have other company over right now, but we would love to see you another time.” At least with them, you know their journey home is easy. With friends of friends -- unless you similarly banish their ride -- you are stuck.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the rule on inviting someone to accompany you to a play that’s close to being sold out, and they don’t respond to your invitation in a timely way?

I invited a friend to go to a show with a limited run, and mentioned in my invitation that it was almost sold out. I said that I would go ahead and purchase my ticket if I didn’t hear from her; I didn’t set a time limit.

I did buy my own ticket -- and then heard from her, two days later, saying that she was interested in accompanying me. Should I have waited to hear from her before purchasing my ticket?

GENTLE READER: How long did you give her before you gave up and bought yours? Somewhere between 5 minutes and two days is reasonable.

Miss Manners agrees that ultimatums with friends can be awkward, but in this case, a time limit would have been helpful. Or at least made you feel better about getting on with it.

Of course you do not state it as an ultimatum -- only that you are worried that tickets will sell out, so you are going to get yours by the end of the day, whether or not you have heard from her.

Presumably you could still go with each other, just not necessarily sit together. Especially if only standing room is left. Either way, you both will have learned a lesson.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have discovered that my husband’s small business has been sending out birthday/anniversary cards addressed to clients by their first names (i.e. Joe Smith). I believe that the envelopes should be addressed using a title (Mr. Joe Smith). I have been informed by my husband, and his young receptionist, that using the title is too formal and omitting it is friendlier.

His clients are professionals between the ages of 30 and 90. I believe that most of them were raised during a time of proper etiquette, and that my husband not using titles makes his correspondence appear uncouth. Am I just being too picky?

GENTLE READER: "Mr. Joe Smith" would be Miss Manners’ preference. But then, she would also prefer not to receive birthday cards from her (for instance) dentist, who only knows her birthday from her private medical records -- not because he is a friend.

Now Miss Manners has a question of her own: Is this decision being made by the proprietor of the business, his wife or the receptionist who claims to know what everybody is doing these days? She is merely curious, since the lines between the personal and the professional seem to be particularly blurred at your husband’s place of business.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a tremor in my hands, worse in my dominant hand, and it affects my table manners. In public, I try to choose foods that are relatively easy for me to handle, but I often have to make unconventional accommodations, such as holding my right hand with my left while eating, or putting my chin right over my bowl.

On occasion, if a food proves too difficult, I ask the restaurant to wrap it up, telling them that I am full. Then I take it home, where I can eat it in whatever manner I choose.

But perhaps I should forgo eating in public altogether?

GENTLE READER: Not on Miss Manners’ account, nor for any rule of etiquette. Accommodations for physical necessity are an essential part of good manners.

Sadly, the greatest proof of this lies in the now-rampant misuse of the rule. Why do you think we are discovering so many new diseases and allergies every time someone decides they do not want to eat their peas?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you do if you say something pleasant to someone, or ask them a question, and they totally ignore you?

I’m talking about various situations: a cashier or a library clerk, but also people I work with. I know they hear me, but they don’t respond.

I used to work with women who would ignore me at work if I said anything to them, but if they saw me out at a store, they would say hi to me. Should I have ignored them, like they did to me?

GENTLE READER: Deliberately ignoring someone who is speaking to you is a high insult, one that is tantamount to severing relations. For that very reason, it is not something you should strain to see when it was not intended. Why would someone insult you at work but then later greet you at the store?

You can always repeat a greeting to make sure the person heard, but Miss Manners cautions that with more casual acquaintances, it may be wiser to overlook such slights.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a teetotaler. My husband and most of our friends are avid connoisseurs of wine and spirits. Normally, this is not a problem, as I can politely excuse myself from any events that are primarily about appreciating alcohol.

But an etiquette issue sometimes arises when we’re hosting dinner at our place. The first couple of hours generally go well, with good conversation and enjoyment of food and company. At some point, however, the gathering evolves from a dinner party into a drinking session.

By this I mean that after the meal is over, the guests continue to sit around the table drinking, their cups refilled by my husband. Eventually, the conversation becomes more animated than I can keep up with, as voices get a bit louder and arguments a little muddled. This can continue for a few hours.

Everyone is having a good time, no one has to drive themselves home, and I am happy for my guests to enjoy themselves. I don’t want to put a stop to the fun, even though it has left me behind.

But what I would like to do is excuse myself from the table when this happens and get started on my dishes. Is there a graceful way to accomplish this without implying that the party is over?

GENTLE READER: Curiously, the alcohol is clouding everyone’s judgment in this case -- even yours, and you are not partaking.

As a host, you cannot properly leave your own party, even though Miss Manners understands both that it has become a bore for you and that the guests are unlikely to notice your absence.

The solution is to manage the time, as well as the quantity of alcohol consumed. After all, you did not keep serving the pot roast until the guests begged for mercy. So at some point, stop pouring wine and offer coffee instead. Even if your guests are not grateful in the moment, they will be so the next morning.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband’s cousin and her husband live a few miles away from us. While their parents were fairly close when the cousins were growing up, the cousins themselves didn’t maintain contact once they became adults.

I enjoy sending greeting cards for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and so on, and this cousin is on my list. We’re also friends on social media.

She messages me and suggests that we get together for lunch sometime, but offers no specific details. I then propose a date, time and place, which she agrees to, but always cancels on the day of the meeting.

I’ve come to expect this and don’t think much of it, but it upsets my husband. Should I continue making suggestions even though I know they will likely be canceled at the last minute?

GENTLE READER: Next time the cousin proposes a get-together, give an equally vague response: “That would be great.” Breaking the pattern may or may not change her behavior, but it will give everyone something new to think about.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)