DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago. It was a difficult decision, but ultimately I felt it was the right one for both of us. Since the breakup, we hadn’t spoken at all -- no texts, no calls, no accidental run-ins.

I had started to move on and was focusing on myself, trying to heal and rebuild my sense of peace. Then, out of the blue, he called me. I was shocked to see his name pop up on my phone. When I answered, he asked if I wanted to grab dinner or get a drink that night. I was caught off guard and told him no, not because I was trying to be mean, but because I didn’t understand where this was coming from or what he wanted. I asked him why he had reached out and what made him want to see me again, especially after two months of complete silence. He couldn’t give me a clear answer. He kind of just shrugged it off and said he didn’t really know, but he “thought it might be nice.”

Now I’m left feeling confused. Why would he call me out of nowhere like that? Is he regretting the breakup? Did he miss me in a moment of weakness, or is he trying to keep a connection alive? Should I read into this or let it go and keep moving forward? -- He’s Back

DEAR HE’S BACK: Do you have any desire to rekindle a relationship with your ex? If not, stop thinking about this incident. Remind yourself of the reasons you broke up with him in the first place. Be OK with your decision, and move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This past year has been hard for me. I was recently diagnosed with a few health issues that have been affecting my daily life more than I expected. On top of managing the physical symptoms, I’ve been struggling emotionally, and I was recently diagnosed with depression as well.

What’s made it harder is that I haven’t told anyone about what I’m going through -- not family or friends. I’ve kept everything to myself because I feel embarrassed about my diagnoses. I can’t shake the feeling that if I open up, people will see me differently or treat me with pity, and I don’t want that. Because I’ve been holding everything in, I feel isolated. I go through my days pretending everything is normal when, in reality, I’m struggling just to get out of bed some mornings. I want to talk to someone about what’s going on, but I don’t know how to start that conversation. How do I begin to let people in without feeling like I’m losing my sense of privacy or pride? -- Isolated

DEAR ISOLATED: Start with a therapist. Find a professional with whom you can talk about your situation, and cultivate coping skills that will strengthen you. Pick one friend you believe will have compassion, and tell them about your situation. Ask that person to keep your business confidential. Start by saying you need to confide something sensitive to them. Then reveal as much or as little as you care to in that first conversation. Don’t dump it all at once. Ease into your revelation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister has been living with me for the past 12 years -- ever since she and her husband separated. At first, we were angry with him for how he treated her, but after living with her, my thoughts have changed. I’ve tried to correct her bad habits and set boundaries to keep my family comfortable, but she doesn’t respect me or my rules. She doesn’t contribute anything toward the household needs; she is often disrespectful to me and my husband; and the other day when I told her enough is enough, she told me that I owe her because she paid for my schooling when we were growing up ... 40 years ago! Can you imagine that? She isn’t working right now, so I feel bad putting her out, but I cannot keep sacrificing my peace. Any suggestions? -- Paying My Dues

DEAR PAYING MY DUES: It is time for what some folks call a “come to Jesus” chat with your sister. Explain to her that because she is your sister and she was in need, you took her in 12 years ago to make sure she was safe. While you have no desire to keep score on who has done what, this is a fact. Acknowledge that she was helpful to you in the past, including paying for your education, and tell her you are grateful.

Now your family needs peace, and she refuses to do some basic things that you need to create a peaceful environment. Ask her once again to curb her behavior. If she does not or cannot comply, give her a deadline for moving out. Perhaps there is another family member she can move in with. If not, she may need to look at public housing. There is always a way, even if it’s awkward.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday is coming up, and I would love to celebrate with my friends. I’ve done my best to make affordable, convenient plans in hopes of making things more feasible for my guests. I reached out to my best friend and asked her what she thought about the restaurant I’d like to go to, and her response was, “You know I have a baby now, but I’ll let you know.” I wasn’t really sure what to make of this. Does that mean the restaurant is not child friendly? Or is it too expensive? Or is she not available on that date? I didn’t push or pry, but I do feel offended. She normally has lavish birthday celebrations, not to mention her birthday lands on New Year’s Eve, which automatically makes it way more expensive. Is it too much to ask for her to reciprocate when my birthday comes around? -- Birthday Blues

DEAR BIRTHDAY BLUES: Go back to your friend and ask her what her comment meant. Be direct. Tell her you want to figure out a way to celebrate your big day and you want her help. You can point out that she always throws lavish parties, but you want to do something more modest so that everyone can participate. Ask for her input.

Know, too, that when people have young children, their priorities often change dramatically. She may not realize how disconnected she is from you at this moment. Ask her to pay attention to your needs for a moment. Hopefully she will.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m going through a bit of a rough patch in my career. I’m still searching for what’s next, but it feels like everyone around me keeps receiving new opportunities. The other day I worked alongside one of my friends, and she shared with me that she had gotten a new job with an amazing brand that we both know and love. I was so happy for her. We had both lost our jobs at a similar time, so this is a long-awaited victory. While we worked together, she had a client meeting, and I got to see her in action. It was amazing, but I couldn't help feeling a bit of sadness come over me. It didn’t feel as intense or angry as envy, but I realized that I was jealous, and that had me feeling down on myself. I went home feeling bad about my career and feeling guilty for being jealous of my friend. I know comparison is a slippery slope, so how can I avoid it? -- Career Troubles

DEAR CAREER TROUBLES: It is natural for you to feel a bit deflated when you see someone excel when you are feeling vulnerable. I find meditation to be helpful to reset your frame of mind. Instead of allowing yourself to fall into a pity pit, sit quietly and settle yourself. Take three deep, cleansing breaths, and invite your being to be refueled with confidence and light. Invite wisdom to fill you and help guide you to what’s next. Afterward, look again for potential next steps. Let patience be your friend, and do your best to extract the good from every experience, including that of friends who are excelling. Notice what they are doing right, and do your best to emulate that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made the mistake of lending a friend money. This is someone I’ve been close with for over 20 years. His latest business endeavor is opening a local bar. When we worked together in finance, he had an interest in hospitality, so I was happy to hear that he was finally bringing that to life. Along the way, he spoke to me about a small loan of several thousand dollars. While I couldn’t give him all that he asked for, I trusted him enough to lend him a few thousand. He assured me that in six months, he’d pay me back in full. Seven months later, I reached out to him asking about progress on the bar and an update on his repayment, and he asked if he could pay me back over the next 18 months. I reminded him of our agreement and told him that’s an unreasonable repayment plan for a lump sum of money he got all at once. Is there a way to accommodate my friend without completely tanking our relationship? -- Payment Plan

DEAR PAYMENT PLAN: Whether or not you put your foot down, it is unlikely that your friend will come up with the money you loaned him any sooner. He miscalculated how quickly he would recover the debt. This is the risk that comes with lending money. Your friendship doesn’t have to end, though you may not want to lend him money again. Unless you can afford to lose it, lending money to loved ones is dangerous. It’s better to give them what you can afford to give, thereby avoiding the risk of disappointment and financial insecurity.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)