DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends and I made plans to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art last weekend to visit the rooftop before it closed (not just for the season, but for the next five years due to upcoming renovations). I was really looking forward to it since it felt like a once-in-a-long-time experience we’d all share together. Unfortunately, I took the wrong train and realized I’d be about 45 minutes late. I texted my friends right away to let them know and told them to go ahead, buy their tickets and head inside without me since I figured the line might be long. I knew the museum was going to be busy, but I didn’t understand just how chaotic the museum entrance would be. It was packed, and I ended up waiting alone in line for almost 40 minutes just to get in. When I finally made it inside, I found out they had already gone up to the rooftop without me. I thought they’d wait for me once they got to the front of the line, especially since this was such a rare opportunity and something we’d planned to do together. When I finally met up with them, they acted casual, but I couldn’t help feeling disappointed and left out.

I understand I was the one who was late, but it really stung to miss out on something so special that won’t happen again for years and knowing my friends didn’t wait made it worse. Am I wrong for feeling hurt, or should I take responsibility since I was the one who got delayed? -- Left Out

DEAR LEFT OUT: It’s understandable that you felt left out, but you cannot be mad at your friends for this. What choice did they have? Waiting around for 40 minutes amid the swarm of constantly moving people would not have worked. Chalk this up to an unfortunate incident and let it go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I texted my friend a really personal message about something I was going through, something I don’t usually open up about, and it took a lot for me to be vulnerable and share how overwhelmed I’ve been feeling lately. When she finally responded, all she sent was a thumbs-up emoji. I know people have different communication styles and not everyone knows how to respond to emotional conversations, but it honestly felt dismissive. I kept rereading the message, wondering if I overshared or made her uncomfortable. We’ve been close friends for years, so I assumed she’d at least offer a few kind words or ask if I was OK.

Since then, our conversations have felt a little awkward, and now I’m second-guessing whether she values our friendship the same way I do. Part of me wants to tell her that her response hurt my feelings, but another part of me worries that I’m overreacting or being too sensitive. Should I bring it up and risk making things uncomfortable, or should I take it as a sign that maybe she’s not someone I can lean on emotionally? -- Dissed

DEAR DISSED: This friend has shown you through her inaction that either she doesn’t know how to show up for you when you are feeling vulnerable, or she chooses not to do so. Learn from her reaction, and don’t go to her when you need emotional support.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is upset with me because I didn’t defend her during a heated argument in a group chat with some of our mutual friends. I didn’t feel I should get involved. The conversation had escalated quickly, and I thought it was better to stay neutral. Now she’s distant and barely responds when I try to reach out.

I feel caught in an awkward position. I want to respect her feelings and rebuild our connection, but I don’t want to apologize for staying out of drama I didn’t feel was mine. I’ve known her for years, and it’s upsetting to see our friendship strained over something that feels like a misunderstanding. I keep replaying the situation in my head, wondering if there was a way I could have handled it differently. Every time I see her in person or in other chats, the tension is palpable, and I hate feeling like we’re drifting apart over something so small. I just don’t want this to become a permanent wedge between us. How do I approach her in a way that shows I care about our friendship, acknowledges her feelings and repairs the trust without making things more awkward or confrontational? -- Broken Friendship

DEAR BROKEN FRIENDSHIP: Contact her and tell her you want to clear the air. Ask if she is willing to talk. Tell her you can see she remains upset about the group chat you both participated in. You can say you are sorry that she is upset with you, but you maintain that that was not a fight you felt you should participate in. Tell her you miss her and hope you can repair your friendship.

Listen to whatever she has to say and respond accordingly. You can reiterate that you are sorry she is hurt.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just figured out that my husband is having an affair. She stumbled upon a few text messages on his phone when she answered a call for him. It was innocent enough; she wasn’t snooping, but she did find this incriminating information. Instead of speaking to him, she told me. I did not know that he was involved with someone, though we have been going through some challenges for the past year or so. I need to address this with my husband, but I want to protect my daughter, too. I fear that he will retaliate against her rather than facing up to what he has done. How should I address this? -- An Affair Exposed

DEAR AN AFFAIR EXPOSED: Choose a time to speak with your husband when your daughter is not in the house. Tell him you know about his affair, and ask him to tell you what he wants. Point out that you know things have been strained between you, but until recently you had no idea he was stepping out on you. You two need to address your issues and figure out a way forward. Ask him to respect you enough to do that.

If he pushes back and wants to know how you found out, you can protect your daughter and not tell him about her. If he needs to know how grave the situation is because she also knows, tell him the truth and be sure to give her the heads up, but this really is between you. She should not be involved.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been a therapist for over 20 years, and while I’ve found deep meaning in helping others heal, lately the work has become emotionally exhausting. I listen to people’s pain all day, and I can feel it sinking into me. Sometimes I come home completely depleted, with nothing left to give to my own family or myself. I’ve tried taking breaks, going to supervision, even attending therapy myself but the burnout doesn’t seem to lift. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve simply given all I can in this field.

Everyone around me tells me I can’t stop. My clients say I’ve changed their lives. My colleagues tell me I’m one of the most empathetic, insightful therapists they know. Even my friends remind me that I have a “gift” for this work and that walking away would be a loss to the people who depend on me.

I feel torn between my duty to my clients and my own mental health, and I don’t know how to balance the two. Is it selfish to put myself first after years of caring for others? How do I know when it’s truly time to step away, and how do I do it without feeling like I’m letting everyone down? -- Turning Point

DEAR TURNING POINT: Maybe it’s just time to take a break. If you can afford it, take a couple of months off and rejuvenate. If needed, see if you can get disability insurance to pay for the time you don’t work. You may come back feeling energized and ready to get back to work. If not, think about what else you might be able to do workwise if the break needs to be extended.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A new friend I met at a workout class suggested we grab lunch together and mentioned it would be her treat. I thought that was really kind, and I was excited to get to know her better outside of class. When the bill came, it sat on the table for a while; neither of us touched it. Eventually, I picked up the check and asked if she wanted to split it, and she said yes immediately. I was caught off guard because she had clearly said beforehand that she wanted to treat me, so I hadn’t expected to pay. It’s not about the money -- I don’t mind paying for myself -- but it left me feeling a little awkward and unsure if I had misunderstood her. Was she just being polite when she offered, or did she forget what she had said?

I don’t want to make things weird by bringing it up, but it’s been bothering me because it felt misleading. Should I just let it go, or is it worth clarifying to avoid confusion in the future? I really enjoyed our conversation and would like to stay friends, but I don’t want small misunderstandings like this to create tension. I’m not sure if I should take this as a red flag about her character or just an innocent miscommunication. -- Unclear

DEAR UNCLEAR: Next time you speak to her, ask her directly what happened. It’s good to clear the air. Tell her that you remember her offering to treat you to lunch and that it felt awkward when she didn’t do that. Emphasize that you are fine with paying your way, but she had set a different expectation. See what she has to say. You want to build friendships with people who are honest.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)