DEAR ABBY: I have a male best friend I adore. When I tell other men about my bestie, they feel intimidated because he has a key to my apartment. We are not dating; we just have sex sometimes, and everyone that I try to be with knows about him. Must I give up on my bestie to be with the man I love even though Bestie and I promised each other that we will never break our bond for anyone? -- COMPLICATED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR COMPLICATED: If you hadn't been having sex sometimes with your bestie, the "man you love" might have been able to accept him. The answer to your question is yes, you will have to make a choice. Now, the question I have for you is, which man do you think is the keeper?

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been close friends with a woman named "Louise" for five years. Recently, we were all hanging out, and Louise got very drunk and tried to massage lotion into my husband's hands. She also hugged him and wouldn't let go, although he put his hands at his side and his whole body stiffened.

My husband has expressed to me that these situations made him very uncomfortable, and they do the same to me. We talked about letting Louise know, but he felt it would only make her feel awkward around us.

It has been a month, and I can't seem to let it go. I don't want to text her, and I'm finding excuses to avoid her. Should I continue trying to let this go or is a conversation in order? -- TAKEN ABACK IN NEW YORK

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: If you "let it go," it will probably happen again and the friendship will be over. A conversation with Louise is overdue. She needs to know she must be more careful about her drinking, because the last time she became very drunk, she embarrassed not only your husband, but also you.

DEAR ABBY: I am childless, but I have a niece I've given lots of money to over the years. She's in her mid-40s with a young child and a husband who has a low-paying job.

Although she has several degrees, she has worked mostly as a waitress. They live in a tiny apartment and during these rough times, I have been paying their rent. She rarely acknowledges it. I have never discussed it with her parents, and I have no idea how much they have (or have not) helped her.

I'm conflicted about helping her/them because this is such a tough time. I can't see how they're going to make their lives better without help. I'm wondering if you have some advice on how I can best assist them or if I should stop. -- LOSING FAITH IN COLORADO

DEAR LOSING FAITH: You haven't spoken to your niece's parents about what you have been doing. Why not? If you do, it may give you a clearer picture of her situation. I wish you had been more forthcoming about why she isn't using any of the college degrees she has earned. If her parents are helping her, you may need to be doing less.

Your niece should research to find out whether government assistance is available. If it isn't, and you can afford it, consider continuing the financial assistance until the COVID situation is under control. Then your niece and her husband can get back on their feet, and you can stop being treated like an ATM.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a guy for five years. We were high school classmates and became close friends shortly after that. Abby, he's the man of my dreams. I've been in love with him since we were 16 years old. We married other people, but we are divorced now and we are together.

We are both 46. I want to get married and he knows it. We have discussed it -- but every time I bring it up (and I always bring it up, he never does), he has an excuse. He says it's only a piece of paper, we've both already been married, I have some debt, etc.

I have a 19-year-old daughter, and he has two kids, 13 and 11. We all get along, even our exes. I am tired of being just "the girlfriend." This is not how I want to live the rest of my life. I have always wanted to be his wife.

He's a good man. He treats me great, is respectful, considerate and I love him so much. Must I suck it up and live and die as his girlfriend or leave because he doesn't want to get married? If I leave, I have no plans on dating or trying to marry anyone else. I'm fine alone. Please help. -- WANTS THE PIECE OF PAPER

DEAR WANTS: As you have framed it, your boyfriend -- whom you love very much -- doesn't want to formalize the relationship, and if you break things off, you don't plan to become involved with anyone else. If you are asking me for magic words that will convince your marriage-phobic boyfriend to make a permanent commitment, you are asking something that isn't possible. If he feels as strongly about you as you do him, he may come around one day, but there are no guarantees. And yes, you will have to "suck it up" if you're not prepared to leave, and while you're doing that, make the best of it.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a beautiful woman for a year now. We have fallen deeply in love. We have the kind of relationship that one can only dream of, and we couldn't be happier.

I've bought her some jewelry, including rings, to show her my love. She wears them, but she also wears jewelry, including rings, from past relationships. I told her this bothers me. She said those items don't have any sentimental value, she just likes them. I have no doubt she means that.

Should I overlook this and not let it bother me, or should I be more persistent? -- EXPRESSION OF LOVE

DEAR EXPRESSION: Your feelings are your feelings. Seeing your lady friend enjoy jewelry she received from other men bothers you. You have told her as much. While at one time the items were symbols of the affection her ex (exes?) had for her, to her they are now just jewelry. If you want to continue the relationship with her, place less importance on the baubles. They have nothing to do with you or the relationship you both enjoy now.

DEAR ABBY: My son had a yearlong affair with his wife's best friend, which started when the two families took vacations together. My husband and I have always been close to our daughter-in-law and our grandchildren, ages 6 and 10, as well as our son. The divorces are final now, and the lovers are married.

Abby, we can't stand the new wife. We abhor the deceit, the betrayal and the pain she and our son have caused. Now he is demanding that we accept her. We don't want to abandon our daughter-in-law, and I can't bear the thought of her and our grandchildren's inheritance going to the new wife. Also, I am so furious with my son for this selfish, egregious act I don't even like seeing him. I don't know what to do. Any advice? -- MOTHER OF A CHEATER

DEAR MOTHER: Depending upon the child custody arrangement between your son and his ex-wife, you may not have to spend much time with the happy newlyweds. Because you love your former daughter-in-law, see her as often as you wish and include her in celebrations. Refrain from acting out in anger. Be polite to your son's new wife. Say nothing you might later regret. You do not have to love -- or even like -- the woman.

As to what happens to your estate in the event of your and your husband's death, this is a discussion you should have with your lawyer. You are under no obligation to reward your son and the new Mrs., especially if you prefer to arrange for your grandchildren and the daughter-in-law you loved to have those assets.

DEAR ABBY: After living with my husband's gradual hearing loss for several years and his refusal to get hearing aids, I finally asked him to get them as a birthday gift to me. He agreed, and I expected that he would wear them once he got them. When he does, it greatly improves his hearing. Instances of my having to repeat myself diminish noticeably. But he seldom wears them when he's at home with me.

I mentioned to him several times how important it was to me, then gave up. I managed to deal with it until the pandemic forced us to stay home so much of the time. I brought it up again recently, referencing the stay-at-home order and how much I would appreciate his wearing them, but he still wears them only occasionally.

I feel disrespected because he isn't willing to do this small thing to make both our lives easier during this period of confinement. How do you suggest I explain this to him so he "hears" me? -- STILL FRUSTRATED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STILL FRUSTRATED: This may not be a matter of your husband "tuning you out." Have you asked him WHY he doesn't wear the hearing aids? Could it be they are uncomfortable and need adjusting? Is inserting the batteries difficult because they are so tiny? Is he bothered by the amplified background noise? Once you know why he is resistant, you can consult the doctor who prescribed the devices.