DEAR NATALIE: I’m newly married and when my now-husband and I first started dating, he would buy me the most amazing Christmas presents. Every year was better than the last. He was so romantic. Last Christmas, he promised me that he would always shower me with gifts during the holidays. Well, this year, I received nothing but a spa certificate to get a massage. I was visibly upset and when I told him that I was hurt, he told me I was acting spoiled. It’s not the gifts that I am upset about. It’s the fact that he made a promise and broke it. I don’t want all the romance to be gone just because we are married. He basically told me, “We don’t have to date now that we are married.” What does that even mean? I don’t want to look ungrateful, he’s a wonderful man and we have a great life, but should I just expect romance to be dead? – I NEED ROMANCE

DEAR I NEED ROMANCE: Complacency kills intimacy. If he wants to have a fulfilling and dynamic marriage, he can’t just expect to phone it in. Good relationships are effort-full – not effortless – and require action from both people. If you need more romance in your life, whether that’s date nights or gifts or words of affirmation, you need to speak up. I know it can feel uncomfortable to tell people what you need, but if you don’t, things won’t change. Over time, resentment could build and you don’t want to start becoming passive aggressive with the person you love. 

DEAR NATALIE: We lost my mom to COVID during the early days of the pandemic and it devastated my dad. He has become very COVID-cautious around all of us since then and we also take precautions – like wearing masks and staying up-to-date on our vaccines because we know all too well where this can lead. He just started dating someone new and she’s somewhat of an anti-vaxxer. I think my dad is just lonely and misses our mom, so he doesn't want to sit with those emotions. They have gotten into several arguments about COVID and we are begging him to stop seeing her. We always have a family New Year’s Eve party and have kept it under 10 people since COVID hit. It’s mostly just our immediate family and partners. I’m hosting it this year and she is already balking at the request to test before attending. She doesn’t feel the need to mask while in attendance, even though she is unvaccinated. My sister wants to disinvite her, but I don’t want to hurt my dad’s feelings. I don’t even think he wants her to come, to be honest. What is the best way to navigate this? The last few years have been so hard on my family. If anything were to happen to anyone else, I don’t know what we would do. Any thoughts? – COVID RUINED EVERYTHING

DEAR COVID RUINED EVERYTHING: You are allowed to set boundaries in your own home. If you are requiring testing or masking and she doesn’t want to do either, that’s totally fine, but then she should refrain from coming. Your dad has been through enough and so have all of you. If she can’t respect the simple rules that you have set (and for very good reason) then she isn’t respecting any of you. I am so sorry that your mother died from COVID. So many have suffered the loss of loved ones and it makes the holiday season that much more challenging to get through. Please let your dad know that you love him and you want to support him in his grief, but that it may be easier and simpler if he flies solo for this year’s party.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM or stream it on the Audacy app or at kdkaradio.com

Watch her new video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear on their website, penncapital-star.com

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@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My 15-year-old daughter has always struggled with her weight. Her older sisters are all naturally slim and it’s created tension for many years. I’ve been in recovery from an eating disorder most of my adult life and I struggle with saying the “right” things around food and diet because of it. Well, my daughter came home the other day and told me other girls in her class are using Ozempic (and products like it) to lose weight. She wants to use it, too. I told her absolutely not, but now I’m wondering if that was a knee-jerk reaction? She isn’t speaking to me – teenage girls are exhausting – and said her weight issues have caused her to feel depressed. She doesn’t understand why I “don’t want her to be happy.” I felt terrible. What should I do? I don’t think it is a good idea to let her use this but I also don’t want her to feel bad about herself. Any suggestions? – NO WAY OZEMPIC 

DEAR NO WAY OZEMPIC: Before you or your daughter make any decisions, it’s probably a good idea to get her doctor in on this conversation. Does she need to use this drug or are there other avenues available to her that might be better options both physically and emotionally? Putting aside the health concerns that a doctor can answer, I am concerned about her emotional wellbeing. With so much celebrity fanfare around these weight loss drugs, it’s easy for anyone to be seduced, especially a teenager. But I worry that even if she were to use them and lose weight, what happens when she has to go off of them? You can’t stay on this forever and there are side effects. Are there other things that she could be focusing on or learning about herself so that achieving or maintaining weight loss doesn’t become the central point of her life? Before she does anything, is she willing to work with a therapist who specializes in disordered eating? Because you also deal with these issues, you know how they can create so many long-term challenges both physically and emotionally. I hope someday she can find her worth outside of the number on a scale and recognize that she is so much more than her weight. 

DEAR NATALIE: My close friend and his wife have recently divorced. I am a widower and have always thought his wife was a great person. She called me the other night to just “talk” and we ended up on the phone for a few hours. She wanted to meet up for a drink. We ended up going for a walk, instead. We are both in our mid-60s. My wife died several years ago and I never wanted to remarry. But being with her made me feel excited again for living. I am worried, however, that if my friend / her ex-husband finds out, he’ll be furious with us both. Should I just see where this goes first and then tell him or do I have to tell him right away? – AN OLD ROMANTIC

DEAR AN OLD ROMANTIC: He’s a close friend, right? If he’s important to you then you need to be honest with him about what is going on. If this were you, wouldn’t you want to know? And he may be upset with you, but if you lie or withhold this from him, I guarantee it will be much worse than if you just told him the truth now. Life is short and you deserve to find happiness wherever you can, but you should own up to this before things become unnecessarily complicated. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM or stream it on the Audacy app or at kdkaradio.com

Watch her new video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear on their website, penncapital-star.com

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My wife and I are struggling. I got COVID early on in the pandemic and it disabled me. I have been to countless specialists and doctors. They all try to help me, but it’s been a struggle to say the least and I’ve had to go on leave at my job. I know it’s been hard on my wife but she was with me every step of the way, masking, getting all the updated vaccinations – doing the most. We were a team. But in the last six months, she has really pulled away. She doesn't wear a mask anymore. She gave me RSV a few months back and now she has COVID so I have been staying at my mother’s. She’s frustrated, I understand. We all are. I want it all to be better, but reinfections are going to make things worse for us all. She told me I need to “get over this” and that she’s having a hard time socializing because she feels “guilty” when she goes out. She and I used to be so solid. Now, I don’t know if we will make it. Can you give me any advice or insight on how to save my marriage? – ON THE EDGE 

DEAR ON THE EDGE: I remember someone once telling me that it isn’t enough to be in love for marriage to work. You have to have the same vision of the future. And it seems as though your visions have diverged from one another’s. This doesn’t mean you can’t work through it, however. The reality is, everyone is burned out. Everyone is exhausted and some people are in denial about what is going on around them as a way to cope. It isn’t necessarily a great long-term mechanism to utilize because it can cause harm, as you have experienced first hand – but here we are. I won’t pretend to think that since her recent COVID infections she will somehow now be more willing to mask or take other mitigating steps to reduce her chance (and yours) of reinfection. People want to pretend as though they have this magical, long-term immunity after COVID – which the science shows they do not. But what you can do is set a boundary. If she wants to be in this marriage with you as her partner, then she has to meet you halfway. Can she limit the amount of socializing in large groups that she engages in? Can she mask in indoor spaces, like the grocery store? Can she agree to eat outdoors whenever possible with her friends or limit her hangouts to just a few people at a time? What is she willing to do? And if she does those things, what can you potentially compromise on? The hard part here is that this is airborne. Her choices become your choices whether she likes it or not. Perhaps she doesn’t realize how hurt you are by what is happening. If you speak what is on your heart and things don’t change at all, you may have to come to a difficult decision about whether or not this marriage can continue. Can you be with someone who doesn’t seem to care about you? I would have a hard time grappling with that. Love means sacrificing things. It is an action word. She needs to show that she is still in this with you or what are you both doing? Life is too short to feel disrespected by the person who is supposed to love you the most.  

DEAR NATALIE: My family is Jewish and we have very different perspectives on what is going on with Palestine and Israel. It has made for incredibly tense conversations with my parents. My brother and I see things from one perspective and my parents from another. Things got so tense the other night at dinner that my brother actually left. My mother was in tears and my dad was yelling at us both. I don’t know how to come back from this. I don’t want to be at odds with my family, but this is tearing us apart. My brother said he’s not coming back to my parents unless my dad apologizes… which of course he won’t do. How can I help? I feel stuck in the middle. I agree with my brother’s perspective politically, but I don’t want to lose my parents. Any thoughts? – MEND THE FENCE

DEAR MEND THE FENCE: I wish I had a magic wand that could bring understanding to everyone on the path towards collective liberation. For now, I would just give them space from one another. Unfortunately, this is cutting deep for many families. It is understandable why different generations are looking at this situation from opposing vantage points, and tensions are bound to run high and spill over into outright conflict. So much is at stake and it feels as though the whole world is on fire. All you can do at this moment as his sister is to listen to him and reflect back your support and understanding. All you can do as a daughter is to try and hold space for your dad with compassion in hopes that he and your brother will find their way back to one another. If you can touch base with your mom, perhaps the two of you can work towards finding a way for the family to heal. It may take a long time.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM or stream it on the Audacy app or at kdkaradio.com

Watch her new video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear on their website, penncapital-star.com

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga