DEAR NATALIE: I recently had dinner at a friend’s house who recently had COVID. I told him I wanted to wait 14 days from when he first tested positive, which he was understanding about. But then, I found out that our friend we were planning dinner with, hung out with him only five days after he had tested positive. I explained to him when he first tested positive that I didn’t think that five days was safe enough, and that they would be putting themselves at risk of getting other people sick if they were unmasked and in public. Now, after having dinner, I don’t feel like I can trust them. It feels hard to be the only one in my social circle that is aware of COVID in this way, and it feels worse to feel like I was lied to. What should I do?

– FEELING ALONE 

DEAR FEELING ALONE: Before the naysayers come for me in the comment section, the CDC recommended – before big business got involved for fear of losing labor – at least a ten day isolation period when someone contracted COVID. So waiting two weeks (whenever possible) before seeing someone who had COVID is not only reasonable, it’s responsible. The reality is, you and I are in the minority of people who are taking this very real threat seriously. I understand why you feel as though they weren’t being completely honest, and I know it is an awful when the people we care about disappoint us. Remember, however, you can’t control everyone’s actions or their decisions. It is impossible to individually lift ourselves out of a collective global pandemic, but I would recommend doing the following: 1. Meet friends outdoors and wear a mask. 2. Bring extra masks for  your friends when you see them. Often, my friends will ask me if I have a mask when they see me wearing one, so I always have extra. 3. If you meet indoors, open windows, run an air purifier and limit your exposure even if masked. Beyond that, continue to find COVID-cautious people out in the world. They exist — and there’s more of us than you realize — who are fighting the good fight to keep us all safe and healthy. The public health response and lack of government support has been appalling and embarrassing on every level, but that doesn't mean we give into despair. We look for community, we build bridges with people who are open to taking precautions but maybe don’t know how and we stay educated on the latest developments. We will find a way forward here. I just hope we can reduce the suffering along the way.

DEAR NATALIE: Recently, I was reading a nationally distributed magazine and realized that my ex, who is a writer, had written a story that included details about our relationship. She didn’t name me, but people who know her will know that it’s about me. It includes the narrative and details of a fight we got into a few years ago. It definitely wasn’t my finest moment, but she has painted me in a harsh light. She asked me a while back to not contact her. After reading it, one of our mutual friends told me that if I didn’t want it to be written about, then I shouldn’t have acted that way. I feel hurt and uncomfortable. I want to get revenge. What can I do?

– PUBLICLY SHAMED

DEAR PUBLICLY SHAMED: I don’t know what I’m more infuriated by – your ex for writing about you or your friend shaming you about what happened. I understand why you would feel hurt and uncomfortable. I don’t recommend seeking revenge. In fact, I recommend you staying as far away from this whole situation as possible. Why? It’s clear to me that any interaction with your ex could end up in their next column. Because they painted you in such an unflattering light and have the upper hand with the large platform they have, I don’t see anything positive coming out of this for you. Instead, can we take a step back and try to look at what happened dispassionately. What can you learn from this experience? You said that whatever happened in the past “wasn’t your finest moment.” Reflect on that. Was it your temper? Did you say things you regret? Did you physically do something that you wish you could take back? How can you avoid situations like this in the future? If you can look at this in that framework, it may help you in your healing process. As far as your friend who shamed you for what happened, I would let them know that their comment hurt you. Take a step back from that friendship for a while and reassess who you want in your life because while it’s fine to have our friends help us grow, we don’t need people kicking us when we are down.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I recently decided to separate. We have not been getting along well the last several months. I thought during this time we would do some “soul searching,” go to couples’ therapy and take some time for ourselves. Well, I came to find out that he has started dating one of his co-workers. We didn’t explicitly state that we couldn’t date, but we’ve been together 20 years. I thought we could figure a way through this but now I guess he wants out? So I went to tell him I’m going to file for divorce and he was livid. He said he didn’t want that and wants me back. Then, I confronted him about the dates with this co-worker and how that hurt me. He said he was “lonely.” We were separated for one month. Absurd. He seems remorseful. Should I give this another chance? We were going through a rough patch but I never thought he would cheat on me. – END OF THE ROAD 

DEAR END OF THE ROAD: Since I don’t know what the issues in your marriage are, you have to ask yourself this question: If you met him now, would you fall in love? Would you get married? Sometimes, we hold onto the past so tightly, that we forget that it is just that – the past. If that’s the case, then let him go. If, however, this is someone who you can truly see yourself with for the rest of your life, then it is worth trying to salvage. Therapy makes sense, not just for you both as a couple, but as individuals, as well. There is a reason he stepped out of your relationship as soon as he had a hint of a green light. Does he really want to be married? How intense is this connection? You need to find out what was at the root of that. How can you trust that this won’t happen again? He opened this can of worms, so now he has to accept that his actions have consequences. The only way you can build towards a better tomorrow together is to acknowledge where you are in this moment and commit to understanding each other, respecting one another and fighting for what matters…your marriage. And then, time will tell.  

DEAR NATALIE: I just remarried and my new husband has never had children in his life before. My kids are older— ages 15 and 19. My eldest is going to community college so he lives at home. My son and husband have been butting heads. I don’t think my son is used to having another man around the house. His father left when he was small and it’s been just the three of us until last year when I met Jeff, my now-husband. They get along fine, but living together is a different thing. Jeff expects him to do chores, get up at a decent hour and help with house repairs since he is living here for free. My son doesn't have a job, so Jeff has been encouraging him to get a part-time one. It’s been causing a lot of arguments and friction in my home. I keep telling Jeff he’s pushing too hard, but he feels as though my son has been walking all over me and doesn’t like to see it. My son, of course, thinks Jeff is overstepping his bounds and that he’s “a man” who doesn’t have to listen to him. I see both sides but my daughter thinks that Jeff has a point. What do you think? How should I handle this? – STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR WE HAVE ROOM: It can be very challenging when the two most important men in your life aren’t getting along with one another. And Jeff does have a point. There needs to be ground rules in place if your son is going to live with you at home while he goes to school. It’s great that he can save his money while getting an education and not have to pay rent and all the bills that come along with it…especially as the cost of housing continues to soar. But in exchange, there are expectations that should be met or things will boil over. Can you sit down with your son and Jeff and make a plan that works for everyone while he is living at home? What feels achievable? Can he keep his grades up while working part time? If so, great. What does that look like? If not, how can he support the family in ways that are reasonable? While Jeff isn’t his father, he is your husband and is going to feel protective of you. Your son may not be used to having someone in that role and most likely feels a little threatened. Reassuring your son that you love him is important. Establishing boundaries where everyone feels respected is key. If he wants to be a man, he should be treated him like one, which means taking on responsibilities to show everyone that he is growing up and becoming the independent, thoughtful person you want him to be so that he can have a productive and fulfilling life.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My elderly dad recently had a bad fall and my brother – who also lives nearby – isn’t being helpful. He has the expectation that I will take care of our parents, while simultaneously pressuring me to get a higher paying job that he considers more serious than the line of work that I’m in now. He always says that he can’t help our parents because he has four kids and a wife. But I have two, and I am parenting without a partner. I feel he’s being totally hypocritical and misogynistic. How can I tell him that I need him to stop criticizing me, and that he needs to show up for our family more? – DOING THE BEST I CAN 

DEAR DOING THE BEST I CAN: There’s this weird shift that happens as we get older. Our parents start to rely on us more as many of us are in the middle of building careers, while at the same time raising children. It’s like a vice and can cause a lot of extra stress and anxiety for so many of us. Factor in the reality that women are often looked at as “natural” caretakers and there is this expectation of labor (emotional and otherwise) that often falls on our shoulders. And it isn’t fair or right. As for your line of work, I don’t understand why that is any of his business — especially if he isn’t “helping you out.” So what can you do? Your brother may feel as though he has the right to criticize your work while simultaneously bossing you around, but you can set a boundary with him. I would talk to him and your sister-in-law and get a plan in place. Don’t ask him to do his part. Say, “I can help with dad these two days of the week. Here’s where he needs support from you. On the other days, we should look into home healthcare and see what his insurance plan will cover.” Go from there. Setting a tone that forces him to recognize that you refuse to carry this burden all by yourself may be the wakeup call that he needs. It is not fair to have all of the weight on your shoulders, nor is it sustainable. We are all doing the best we can, but everyone has to pitch in when it comes to family. 

DEAR NATALIE: Recently at a work event, I got into a discussion with my coworker’s wife. She expressed concern to me about my friendship with her husband and that it was “crossing a line.” I assured her that this wasn’t true. He talks about her all the time, and I only see him as a coworker and friend. I talked about this with him after, which I felt was the right thing to do. But now, he’s acting like it’s my fault that she said anything to me. I realize now that how he acts with me is different from how he speaks about me to his wife. We still have to work together, but I want to dissolve our friendship. His wife has reached out to me to apologize for bringing this all up, even though I don’t think she did anything wrong. What should I do next? – AWKWARD WORK WIFE

DEAR AWKWARD WORK WIFE: I would first tell his wife that an apology isn’t necessary and that you understand why she would want to set a boundary. After clearing the air there, I would turn to him and let him know that while you will continue to be professional and cordial, you no longer feel as though it is appropriate to be friends. His marriage should be his top priority and you have no interest in being in the middle of anything that could cause her harm. If he can’t deal with that, then he needs to explore why he is prioritizing a friendship with a colleague over his marriage. That’s a journey he has to walk alone and I don’t blame you for bowing out.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga