DEAR NATALIE: I’ve been an elementary school teacher for 10 years and am noticing some sad and scary trends in my students in the last few years. They seem to be more violent with me and with other students. They are also less able to talk about their reasons for being upset. I’ve talked to the principal a number of times but he is relatively unsympathetic. I imagine this is because he just takes the same disciplinary action he has always taken, which I don’t really believe changes or improves their action. I don’t have the training I need to de-escalate situations, nor am I a social worker. How can I learn to work better with these kids, and get the support I need from my district?
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– TEACH THE TEACHER
DEAR TEACH THE TEACHER: While this is naturally a time of life where a little rebellion is expected, it is not okay for students to be violent or aggressive with any teacher or with one another. Unfortunately, there are so many systemic issues plaguing young people that it is hard to tease out what is coming from them and what is weighing on them from the outside world. Some students may be experiencing hardships at home, like a lack of stable housing or consistent meals. Perhaps they have recently gone through a tragedy or have underlying mental health issues that aren’t being fully addressed for one reason or another. They could be isolating themselves through social media and video games, avoiding social interactions and thereby becoming less equipped to deal with people in real life. So what can you do? I firmly believe that we have to meet people where they are. Having worked as a social worker in school settings with the young people (mostly boys) who I was working with in their homes, it took a long time to build trust. Most of my interactions I found went best when we were doing something with our hands, whether it was drawing or writing or playing a game. I don’t know how you can incorporate experiential learning into your classroom setting, but it could be an interesting way to help them shift their thought patterns and activate them in different ways. I also found that once I did build trust, I couldn’t get them to stop talking – which was a good problem to have. But there are ups and downs and depending on the situation, you may never make much progress, especially when you are in a classroom setting and not participating in intensive therapy sessions. As for your district, my grandmother used to say, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil.” I recommend you just keep at it. I hate to say wear them down, but knowing what I know about the school system, you have to be relentless to get the support you need. None of this is a guarantee, but I would also encourage you to reach out to other educators for support and advice to see what they do in their classrooms to make it a more welcoming environment for students to learn. Teachers are my heroes and I hope someday not only do you get the support you need in your classroom setting, but that we fund schools properly and pay you what you deserve.
DEAR NATALIE: Lately my life partner has seemed a bit more cynical than usual. He seems to be getting caught up in conspiracy theories, and is straying away from the news stations and reporters he used to listen to. I totally understand his skepticism – I have a healthy dose of it myself – but I feel like he’s crossed a few lines of what I think is reasonable. I’ve told him that he might want to be careful about sharing these opinions openly, especially online. Honestly, I don’t feel like I have any news outlets I want to recommend to him that offer fair and balanced reporting – I get most of my information on social media. How can I help before he goes too far off the deep end?
– OFF THE DEEP END
DEAR OFF THE DEEP END: On my KDKA radio show, I have a regular segment with a colleague where we talk about media and manipulation. She is a fellow journalist and also a professor at a university. We discuss media literacy quite a bit because it is easy for anyone – and I mean anyone – to share or buy into misinformation. No matter where you get your news from, but especially if it is from social media, it is important that we check our sources. Here are some tips to avoid misinformation online: 1. Check the source. Be wary of those that have a political agenda. 2. Look for collaboration…can you find this information in other spaces? 3. Check the date because the news travels fast and it could already be obsolete. 4. Consider the language and how sensationalized it might be. Too good (or bad) to be true? It probably is. 5. There are fact-checking resources online like snopes, factcheck.org and politifact that I use to help when I’m unsure of something’s credibility. And most importantly, we need to check our own biases and recognize that it is okay to adjust beliefs based on new evidence-based information that we gather. Often, the reason people buy into conspiracy theories is because they fit into their preferred world view or provide a sense of control in an out-of-control world. The best thing you can do is to encourage him to practice those steps laid out above. Working through misinformation together and sharing that process with him will make it feel like you are doing the work together and not accusing him of buying into “fake news.” When we are an educated population, we are less able to be manipulated by the powers that be. Reclaiming that power starts with our own understanding of media literacy. Good luck!
Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to
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