DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I have been struggling for the last year or so. I feel like he doesn’t take my feelings seriously and I’m tired of feeling alone in our relationship. Whenever he’s out of the house, I genuinely feel so much relief. Lately he’s been having terrible stomach pain. I’ve tried to tell him to go to the doctor. I make other recommendations for things that might help. Because he’s in pain, his mood has been even worse, and he really won’t do anything to take care of himself. He doesn’t seem worried that it might be something serious, but I am. The way he’s behaving is so unattractive to me. I feel like I’ve married a child because of the way he’s taking care of himself and how he’s interacting with me. I don’t think I can tolerate it anymore. Should I leave him? – PAIN ALL AROUND

DEAR PAIN ALL AROUND: It sounds as though you want to leave him but you are trying to come up with a “legitimate” excuse as to why you can’t just walk away from the relationship – as if your feelings aren’t enough. This may just be the straw that broke the camel’s back. You need to have a serious talk with him. It’s been shown over and over again that men benefit much more from marriage than women do, so even though you feel alone and depressed in your relationship, he may not. You are not under any obligation to stay in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. The fact that you felt relieved when he was out of the house tells me everything I need to know. This marriage may be over and the sooner you confront that reality the better for you. If he isn’t willing to work on himself or the relationship, then what are you doing? Choose yourself. 

DEAR NATALIE: My son just went back to school and we found out that his teacher is the mom of a kid who bullied him last year. Last year, I didn’t get the district involved because it came up at the end of the school year.  I felt it would be easier to see if it would blow over. His teacher’s son isn’t in his class, but I’m worried that she will treat him differently. Plus, what if the teacher is unkind to him, too? I don’t want to switch him out because he’s in class with a few of his close friends, but I’m not sure what to do. Should I approach the teacher off the bat and tell her about her son’s actions last year? Or should I just hope for peace all around? I want to be proactive, but I also don’t want to stir things up if it’s unnecessary.

– NOT SURE

DEAR NOT SURE: Normally, I am all about confronting an issue right away, but in this case it may be best to see how things play out at first. If your son seems to be doing well and the bully isn’t in his class, let it be for now. If your son starts to show signs that he is upset or anxious going to school, or if he seems withdrawn or depressed, then you should talk with him first. Find out what is going on. If you need to discuss this with his teacher, you will have to give her the full context of the situation to make sure that she is aware that you are aware of what happened last year. Try to be diplomatic because she is in a position of authority with your son and could make things worse. If things do get worse, you may have to pull in another administrator at the school and see how best to resolve the situation. Whatever you do, keeping your son’s mental health at the center of it will help you decide what is best moving forward. His education and wellbeing are what matter most.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: Recently, I have found myself attracted to women. I have been married for more than 20 years. We’ve drifted emotionally and sexually. We don’t have sex much these days and while I do love him, I don’t know if I am even sexually attracted to him, anymore. We have three kids (two in college) and so the idea of being empty-nesters is worrying me. How can I live the next half of my life with someone who feels more like a roommate than a lover? And there is a woman I have met recently who I found myself drawn to. She has expressed interest in – even knowing that I’m married and “straight.” I would like to take a chance for once. Should I share this with my husband? Should I have an affair behind his back and even see if there is anything really there? Am I just going through a midlife crisis? I am frustrated – and I mean that in every sense of the word. What should I do? — MIDLIFE MELTDOWN 

DEAR MIDLIFE MELTDOWN: Affairs always seem sexy in the movies, but in reality they are just messy. After 20 years and three children together, your marriage deserve better than you sneaking around to have a sapphic romance. Do some soul searching before you talk to him because the questions raised won’t have answers in someone else’s bed. Do you want to be married? Do you want to be married to him? While a flirtation with someone can make you feel alive and rejuvenated, following through on those feelings could cause everything that you do have to blow up. Have you tried reconnecting with your husband in intimate ways? I don’t even mean sexually – but do you go on date nights? Do you cuddle or hold hands? Do you talk in the middle of the night about your dreams or laugh together on the couch while watching a movie? Often the spark that makes an affair feel so special is having someone see us. So start there. If you still feel as though you need to explore new facets of your sexuality, then tell him the truth. I would at least give your marriage one last chance before you close that book for good.   

DEAR NATALIE: A woman I work with who is 25 years older than me is super insecure and it makes working with her difficult. I never get straight answers out of her because she doesn’t want to make definitive decisions. She literally prefaces all of her statements with, “This might be a bad idea…” which leaves me unsure if she wants her ideas to come to fruition. What’s worse is that no one knows what she does all day. She’s my manager, but I have to be a bit forceful in order to get things done. Other people on my team feel similarly, but no one knows how to handle it. What should I do?  – MISMANAGED

DEAR MISMANAGED: I would first work on communication with her. The next time she starts a sentence with “This might be a bad idea…” can you interject and say in return: “What specific parts of this plan/program/strategy concern you so that we can make targeted changes that will improve the outcome?” If she doesn’t like to make decisions, are there decisions that can be made without her so that she can just sign off on them? My philosophy has always been, “Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” But when it comes to not knowing what she does all day, I wouldn’t get too heavily involved in that. Office gossip can lead to tension and it will find its way back to her. Just do the best work you that you can, try to make adjustments in communication and see what decisions you can make so that all she needs to do is give the final green light. Other than that, remember that curiosity killed the cat. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My best friend’s new boyfriend is a total weirdo. They met online through a professional networking group. In the last few years, he’s gotten really into this “live forever” movement, and it seems like he focuses a lot of his time on it. She’s generally healthy – eats well and values exercising – and the only way I’ve noticed her habits changing is that she’s spending a ton more money on experimental treatments and supplements. He does this, too, but he also drinks a lot with his friends and doesn’t really care about COVID. His behaviors seem contradictory. Their new thing is that he wants to move to a blue zone – areas of the world with longer life expectancies. She’s willing to move – Greece, Italy, Japan, Costa Rica – who wouldn’t be? But, I’m worried she will only get further swept up into his insanity, especially if they are isolated in a new country. She thinks he’ll grow out of it, but she hasn’t seen any evidence yet. How can I talk to her about this? – NO ZONE

DEAR NO ZONE: I have a new motto since I turned 40 this year. I was scrolling through TikTok and came across this woman in her 40s giving advice. My favorite takeaway piece was: “You like it, I love it.” Is it a bad idea to move to a foreign country with a dude she doesn’t know well? Of course. Is it silly to waste time and money chasing the fountain of youth while engaging in other risky behaviors? You know it. And guess what? You like it, I love it. If that’s what she wants to do, why stand in her way? We know how this will play out because my guess is this has played out before with her.  So why put yourself through the same cycle? Let her live her life and make her decisions while you set up healthy boundaries to protect yourself from the fallout. She is allowed to live in chaos – but you don’t have to follow her there.   

DEAR NATALIE: I think my sister’s husband is having an affair. He has been coming home late from work almost every night for the past few months, saying that he is working on a big project. She said he goes straight to shower. They were also at a work event together and she was gently interrogating his colleagues. No one knew anything about this so-called project. There is also this new woman at his office that my sister said is very attractive and hangs around him. She’s caught them flirting on more than one occasion. Obviously, this is all circumstantial, but he won’t leave his phone out, anymore, either. She said he changed his password to his email, too. When she asked him to share it with her, he said he forgot it. They’ve been married about five years and have a small child. My sister is an amazing wife and mother. I’ve never warmed to him, but I tried accepting him for her sake. Now, she wants to confront him but is afraid to do it. Should I help facilitate this confrontation? I just want her to be happy and he has never treated her well. He ignores her and neglects their marriage. If he’s having an affair, I know she will be devastated. How do I help her? – STAND WITH MY SISTER

DEAR STAND WITH MY SISTER: You cannot take the lead here. Standing with her means standing behind her. Support her decision if she wants to confront him. Be there for her if he is having an affair. But don’t be surprised if she doesn’t leave right away. Infidelity isn’t a deal-breaker for everyone. If you badmouth him and she does stay, she is going to resent you for it. You could end up the “bad guy” here even though you are trying to be protective. I can easily feel how much you care about her. Encourage her to do what she feels will bring her peace and empowerment. This is her life and her decision. If she does decide to leave him, then she has a wonderful sister to support her. But if she stays, she’ll need you just as much. Make sure you put her needs before your desire to control this situation.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga