DEAR NATALIE: Where do we go from here? This election has been tearing my family apart, with my son hardly speaking to us after Trump — who he voted for — won. Currently, my son lives with us so this has made it very uncomfortable. He lost his job months ago and split up with his girlfriend, so moved back in with us. He mostly spends his time looking for work and playing video games. In the last year, he has been following more and more extremists on podcasts and YouTube. When he would share his views or things he was hearing, my husband and I (who are moderate Democrats) would try to debunk a lot of it, but he didn't want to hear it. Now that Trump has won again, he feels as though he was right and validated in everything and doesn't “trust” us. We aren’t sure how to help him or how this will impact him moving forward. He’s 24-years-old and we don’t want him living with us forever. What should we do? 

– PARENTAL CONFUSION

DEAR PARENTAL CONFUSION: This is not a unique issue facing many American families right now. Politics has torn a lot of people apart – from both sides of the aisle – but what concerns me more than political views is the rampant misinformation and disinformation that was spread during this election cycle. Regardless of your political leanings or philosophical ideologies, we all deserve news that is accurate. A lot of these podcasts and YouTube shows are utilizing old misogynistic and racist tropes to garner views and engagement. And when people feel as though they are not being heard, they can fall into a trap of believing that the “other” is to blame. At the end of the day, he is still your son and it’s not as simple as cutting him out of your life. Instead, it may be time for a family meeting to discuss his goals of finding work and looking for an apartment he can afford. Beyond that, you are allowed to say that while having different beliefs is okay, it is not okay to give people the silent treatment when you live with them or treat them unkindly. If he can’t do the bare minimum of showing respect and gratitude to both of you, then he needs to find somewhere else to live immediately. Your relationship to him doesn’t excuse bad behavior and he’s a grown man. You don’t have to tolerate it, either. 

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I are not politically aligned, but that has never bothered me. He voted for Trump and I voted for Harris. But my friends who voted for Harris or Stein are extremely upset with me for continuing my relationship with him. They don’t understand how I can be with someone who voted against their rights. But I don’t look at it that way. He’s entitled to his positions just like I am to mine. It has made for some awkward conversations with my boyfriend and I, though. He thinks I should just drop these friends who are calling him out. But I am not sure what to do or who is right here? I just want everyone to get along like we used to. Nothing seems fun, anymore. It’s exhausting to be in the middle. Any advice?

– CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: This isn’t so much about what your friends believe or what your boyfriend’s beliefs are. This is about what you think and how you want to move in the world. Who are the people you want to surround yourself with? Will compartmentalizing your relationships work? Is this boyfriend someone you think you will spend your life with? If so, how does his vision for the future align (or not) with yours? Instead of worrying about everyone around you, it’s time to be introspective and discover what it is you can tolerate – and what you can’t — from friends and boyfriends alike.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My husband has a big corporate job and recently told me that he is extremely unhappy. He wants to stop working and start a “business coaching” consulting business. I quit my job in PR a few years back to raise our children, and I have no idea how he thinks this will work with me unemployed and him fun-employed. We got into a big argument about it. I want him to be happy, but I also want to be able to eat. What should I say to convince him that this is a terrible idea? – HAPPY DOESN’T PAY THE RENT

DEAR HAPPY DOESN’T PAY THE RENT: Perhaps there is a compromise here. He should start to build his side-business until it is at a level where he can quit his full-time corporate job and not be strapped for money. It takes time to build up a business. I have done it, and it took a few years for me to be able to support myself full-time with consulting work. As an aside, this is exactly why healthcare should not be tied to employment, as it is a reason so many people in my own life have chosen to stick with jobs they dislike. Encourage him to take action items that will lead him to a place where he can replace or come close to replacing his current income before walking away. Telling him it’s a “terrible idea” is only going to make him feel worse about his options. Work towards this as a team. And who knows? With consistent hard work and a positive attitude, in a few years, it may just all work out!

DEAR NATALIE: One of my (thought she was) closest friends is in an open marriage and she talks candidly about their sex life. She asked my husband recently if he would ever want to “swap” one night so that she could be with him. She was drunk at a party we were both attending. I was extremely upset and my husband was very uncomfortable by her behavior. She’s never acted like that before. I have known her for six years and she’s always been a good friend to me and my family. But now I’m reconsidering our friendship. How can I reconcile this atrocious behavior?

– THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

DEAR THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS: Have you talked to her about what she said? There’s that funny saying: “Truth tellers include drunk people and toddlers.” So now that you know how she feels, you need to say something to her so that you can squash this – and fast. If she wants to salvage any friendship with you, she needs to apologize to both you and your husband. And perhaps some time apart is necessary so that everyone can reassess their relationships. At the end of the day, people are impulsive. She may regret what she did – if she even remembers it – but that doesn’t make it right. You have to set a boundary now, assuming you still want to be her friend.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: I am an immigrant and my mother-in-law shared a photo of a costume she wants to wear for Halloween that basically depicts Trump carrying out the “trash” and the “trash” is supposed to be a person from Mexico. (It’s basically about the idea of getting deported). I think she thought it would be funny, and that I would agree or laugh it off. I didn’t find it funny, at all. I cannot vote in this election and the idea that someone would wear a costume like that or send me a “joke” like that is truly upsetting. How do I tell her that I don’t agree with this brand of humor? I bite my tongue a lot in my family because I am new to the family and don’t want to upset them. My husband and I are not “MAGA” like his family is. I am not sure how to be around them when they are like this. It is causing issues in my relationship with them. Any advice on what to say? – IMMIGRANTS ARE NOT TRASH

DEAR IMMIGRANTS ARE NOT TRASH: I would have an extremely difficult time being around someone who insists on sharing racist and xenophobic material like that. The only way to deal with this is to set a boundary. You are allowed to say to your mother-in-law (and i know this is touchy because of the dynamic) something along these lines: “I know you want to connect with me, but sharing that photo upset me. I am also an immigrant and don’t view immigrants as trash. These are human beings. So if we could just cool it with jokes like these, I would appreciate it.” You may want to say it to her in front of your husband so that he can back you up. Unfortunately, I have received many letters over the last few years about how this kind of rhetoric is tearing families and friends apart. The best thing you can do is say how you feel and if she tries to engage you in the future in this kind of conversation, just walk away. It’s still your husband’s mother, so I understand the need to tread lightly, but that doesn’t mean she gets to walk all over you in the process.

DEAR NATALIE: With the election next week, my anxiety is at a 20 out of 10. I am not sleeping well and can’t seem to concentrate. I know I shouldn’t “doom scroll” on my phone, but there are so many fires it seems to put out every single day. Is there a way to stay informed without having this level of panic every day? My husband and my kids are also feeling the stress of this all. I feel as though everyone is on edge and my neighbors (who have an opposing sign in their yard) have stopped speaking to us. How do we bring it down a notch? How can we get through this as a society? – WORRIED MOM 

DEAR WORRIED MOM: I am also counting down the days until the election is over. Unfortunately, that won’t make the 24-hour news cycle any less intense or the rhetoric any less inflammatory. I recommend setting up parameters with how you engage with your phone. You can set actual timers on your phone that will alert you when you’ve been on a site (like Instagram, for instance) for too long. You can also set up timers on your phone that will tell you it’s time to take a break. I have resorted to physically putting my phone in my bedroom after 8pm so that I am not looking at it for the rest of the night. Do whatever you have to in order to limit your exposure. Have your family do the same. It is important to stay informed, but at a certain level, it’s easy to become consumed. When we are bombarded with unsettling or upsetting news all day with no actionable steps to take, it can make us spiral into anxiety and depression. Being in community, volunteering, spending time in nature and with your family – no electronics allowed – can be the antidote. As for your neighbors, perhaps there is a path forward after the election is over and feelings cool down, but if they are this worked up, you may want to wait several months before approaching them. Good luck to you!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga