DEAR NATALIE: My wife and I decided when we got married that I would go to work and she would stay home and raise our children. Our kids are now 12 and 15, and she’s hinting to me that she wants to start looking for a part-time job. She said that we need the money (which we do not) and that she is “bored.” The kids have a lot of their own activities and interests and she says that being a stay-at-home-mom feels antiquated. I do not agree with her working outside the home and it has created a lot of stress for me. She is moody and passive aggressive. I told her that she agreed to these terms when we married or I would not have married her. She now wants to go to marriage counseling. Do I go along with this? I want her to be happy but I’m perplexed as to why she is trying to change the rules now. – STAY HOME

DEAR STAY HOME: What exactly will you lose if she takes on a part-time job besides a “moody” and “passive aggressive” wife? Isn’t marriage about bringing out the best in one another and supporting each other’s dreams? Fifteen years is a long time to be in full-time mom-mode. Having her own sense of self and identity outside of the family home doesn’t take anything away from you or the kids. In fact, if she feels fulfilled and happy because she is finding herself again in the world, she will be a happier person at home, too. What is your fear of letting go of control? The kids are going to grow up. Then what? Divorce? Show her that you can evolve, participate in therapy, understand where she is coming from and perhaps your marriage will blossom in new and unexpected ways instead of withering on the vine as it seems to be doing now.

DEAR NATALIE: My girlfriend told me the other night that she has developed feelings for her co-worker. Well, actually, her boss. They have a “flirty” dynamic, but I never thought that it was anything I needed to worry about. She said she’s been guilt-ridden about it, and she “can’t control” how she feels. She claims that she still loves me and isn’t sure what to do. I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with any of this and then she said that we should break up. We live together, we have two dogs together and we were planning on marrying. I feel like she is just allowing a stupid crush to dictate her whole future and then when I called her out on it, she had a knee-jerk reaction to end things. I’m so confused. She told me she wanted some space, so I am staying at my parents’ home for a few nights to figure this out. What do you think we should do? –THROWING IT ALL AWAY 

DEAR THROWING IT ALL AWAY: If she jumped from “it’s a crush” to “we should break up,” I am afraid that you aren’t salvaging this relationship. Perhaps this was her attempt to get out of the relationship. If she wanted to work on things, then she would not have jumped so quickly to the break-up conversation. I know it can be difficult to hear, but you don’t want to be with someone whose heart isn’t in it. You deserve to be loved completely and treated with respect. If she was unhappy, she should have been direct about it, but people aren’t always able to share what they feel. So, they self-sabotage instead. Cut your losses and walk away from this. I don’t see it heading anywhere good.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: Where do we go from here? This election has been tearing my family apart, with my son hardly speaking to us after Trump — who he voted for — won. Currently, my son lives with us so this has made it very uncomfortable. He lost his job months ago and split up with his girlfriend, so moved back in with us. He mostly spends his time looking for work and playing video games. In the last year, he has been following more and more extremists on podcasts and YouTube. When he would share his views or things he was hearing, my husband and I (who are moderate Democrats) would try to debunk a lot of it, but he didn't want to hear it. Now that Trump has won again, he feels as though he was right and validated in everything and doesn't “trust” us. We aren’t sure how to help him or how this will impact him moving forward. He’s 24-years-old and we don’t want him living with us forever. What should we do? 

– PARENTAL CONFUSION

DEAR PARENTAL CONFUSION: This is not a unique issue facing many American families right now. Politics has torn a lot of people apart – from both sides of the aisle – but what concerns me more than political views is the rampant misinformation and disinformation that was spread during this election cycle. Regardless of your political leanings or philosophical ideologies, we all deserve news that is accurate. A lot of these podcasts and YouTube shows are utilizing old misogynistic and racist tropes to garner views and engagement. And when people feel as though they are not being heard, they can fall into a trap of believing that the “other” is to blame. At the end of the day, he is still your son and it’s not as simple as cutting him out of your life. Instead, it may be time for a family meeting to discuss his goals of finding work and looking for an apartment he can afford. Beyond that, you are allowed to say that while having different beliefs is okay, it is not okay to give people the silent treatment when you live with them or treat them unkindly. If he can’t do the bare minimum of showing respect and gratitude to both of you, then he needs to find somewhere else to live immediately. Your relationship to him doesn’t excuse bad behavior and he’s a grown man. You don’t have to tolerate it, either. 

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I are not politically aligned, but that has never bothered me. He voted for Trump and I voted for Harris. But my friends who voted for Harris or Stein are extremely upset with me for continuing my relationship with him. They don’t understand how I can be with someone who voted against their rights. But I don’t look at it that way. He’s entitled to his positions just like I am to mine. It has made for some awkward conversations with my boyfriend and I, though. He thinks I should just drop these friends who are calling him out. But I am not sure what to do or who is right here? I just want everyone to get along like we used to. Nothing seems fun, anymore. It’s exhausting to be in the middle. Any advice?

– CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: This isn’t so much about what your friends believe or what your boyfriend’s beliefs are. This is about what you think and how you want to move in the world. Who are the people you want to surround yourself with? Will compartmentalizing your relationships work? Is this boyfriend someone you think you will spend your life with? If so, how does his vision for the future align (or not) with yours? Instead of worrying about everyone around you, it’s time to be introspective and discover what it is you can tolerate – and what you can’t — from friends and boyfriends alike.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My husband has a big corporate job and recently told me that he is extremely unhappy. He wants to stop working and start a “business coaching” consulting business. I quit my job in PR a few years back to raise our children, and I have no idea how he thinks this will work with me unemployed and him fun-employed. We got into a big argument about it. I want him to be happy, but I also want to be able to eat. What should I say to convince him that this is a terrible idea? – HAPPY DOESN’T PAY THE RENT

DEAR HAPPY DOESN’T PAY THE RENT: Perhaps there is a compromise here. He should start to build his side-business until it is at a level where he can quit his full-time corporate job and not be strapped for money. It takes time to build up a business. I have done it, and it took a few years for me to be able to support myself full-time with consulting work. As an aside, this is exactly why healthcare should not be tied to employment, as it is a reason so many people in my own life have chosen to stick with jobs they dislike. Encourage him to take action items that will lead him to a place where he can replace or come close to replacing his current income before walking away. Telling him it’s a “terrible idea” is only going to make him feel worse about his options. Work towards this as a team. And who knows? With consistent hard work and a positive attitude, in a few years, it may just all work out!

DEAR NATALIE: One of my (thought she was) closest friends is in an open marriage and she talks candidly about their sex life. She asked my husband recently if he would ever want to “swap” one night so that she could be with him. She was drunk at a party we were both attending. I was extremely upset and my husband was very uncomfortable by her behavior. She’s never acted like that before. I have known her for six years and she’s always been a good friend to me and my family. But now I’m reconsidering our friendship. How can I reconcile this atrocious behavior?

– THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

DEAR THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS: Have you talked to her about what she said? There’s that funny saying: “Truth tellers include drunk people and toddlers.” So now that you know how she feels, you need to say something to her so that you can squash this – and fast. If she wants to salvage any friendship with you, she needs to apologize to both you and your husband. And perhaps some time apart is necessary so that everyone can reassess their relationships. At the end of the day, people are impulsive. She may regret what she did – if she even remembers it – but that doesn’t make it right. You have to set a boundary now, assuming you still want to be her friend.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga