DEAR NATALIE: I am having a very hard time dealing with my brother right now because he voted for Trump and his family accesses some of the federal programs that are on “pause” because of the federal funding freeze. We used to be very close, but he has become very involved with the MAGA movement and it changed him. I called him to check on him yesterday and he flipped out on me, blaming me for not warning him that this could happen if Trump was elected. I was livid. I had begged him for years to follow something else than the far-right propaganda he had been watching and now here we are. I am not sure how to handle this because I want to help his family – drop off some groceries or something – but I don’t want to insult him. Our other brother – who is not MAGA and hasn’t talked to him in a year because of all of this – said he has to feel the hurt in order to shake out of this. But, his kids didn’t do anything to deserve this stress. What should I do? – MAGA MELTDOWN
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DEAR MAGA MELTDOWN: It’s almost like watching people hit rock bottom but knowing this may be what has to happen in order for them to wake up. I can understand both sides of this, but at the end of the day, this is your family. If you want to buy them some groceries or do something to ease any financial fears within your capacity to do so…then do it. I don’t think pitting ourselves against one another has worked well, do you? Instead, we should be harnessing our collective power to push for policies that support the many and not just the privileged few. We are stronger together and I believe the love of family and friends will save us. Call me a dreamer, I guess.
DEAR NATALIE: I got an exciting job opportunity but it is out of the country. I would be gone for at least a year. While my family is excited for me, my boyfriend is really depressed. I have suggested that he come with me as he works remotely. But, he takes care of his elderly grandfather and said he can’t leave him. Last night, he “sort of” proposed to me. He basically said, “If you stay, we can get married. I know you want to.” Not exactly the romantic proposal every girl wishes for. I told him I would have to think about it. My best friend thinks he is just being manipulative since this came out of the blue. I know he wants me to stay, but I really think this could be an interesting experience for me and I’ve never lived abroad before. What do you think I should do? – CAN’T DECIDE
DEAR CAN’T DECIDE: Take the job. Women are constantly told to prioritize romantic relationships over careers and other aspects of their lives. We pour into others but when do we ever have the chance to do for ourselves? This sounds like an incredible experience. I would not accept a half-hearted proposal over this opportunity. It’s only a year. If you are meant to be, stay in contact while you are gone. Can he come to visit you? See how it works. If you drift away, so be it. Seize the day. This is your moment.
Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to
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