Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I split up four years ago after a very short marriage. We were together in high school and since neither of us was planning on going to college, we decided to get a start on life right after graduating. It was a pretty amicable divorce, and we still run into each other from time to time.

Last week I received an invitation to his upcoming wedding. I’m happy he has found someone, but I feel awkward about attending his wedding. It isn’t like we have stayed close, even though our families stay in touch. Do I go or not? --- THE EX WITH THE INVITE

DEAR EX WITH THE INVITE: Since the couple extended the invitation, I’m guessing the awkwardness is all on your part. If you can’t see it being a comfortable situation for yourself, then you’re probably better sending your apologies and maybe a gift as a proof you really do wish your ex well.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work at a temp-to-hire placement agency. Most of my clients are easy to work with, but there is one man who, no matter how much I bend over backwards to get him placed, he either is a no-show or lasts a day or two. That sometimes happens with other clients, but what makes it different with this man is that he blames me for everything that goes wrong.

No one else in the agency will take him on, and our boss has the philosophy that short of an ax murderer, we should be able to get at least temp work for everyone who walks in the door.

I don’t want to keep representing this man, because not only does he give me grief, but it doesn’t look good for the agency or me with the companies where I try to place him. I have to do something, but I’m afraid to approach my boss and don’t know what else to do. --- TIRED OF MR. NEGATIVE

DEAR TIRED OF MR. NEGATIVE: I’d imagine this is not a totally atypical situation for any employment agency, and if you’re going to stay in the field, you’re going to need to develop some tools for working with the less pleasant clients.

If you’re reluctant to talk to your boss, are there any more experienced coworkers you’re comfortable going to for advice? If not, you may be stuck going to the top. It sounds like this client is a known commodity. Even if your boss refuses to “fire” him, perhaps he/she can help guide you in what to do in his case.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: This is the first year without my father around, and he was always the driving force of all the family’s holiday celebrations. My mom died a few years ago, so he really kicked things up after that. My siblings and I all live not far from the home where we grew up, and now that it’s been sold, no one is exactly volunteering to take over hosting like our parents did. Honestly, I just feel like getting out of town, but I feel weird and a little guilty about that. Should I? --- LOST FOR THE HOLIDAYS

DEAR LOST FOR THE HOLIDAYS: I’m sorry for your loss, and understand how such changes in the family translate to changes in traditions. That’s why I think it’s absolutely fine for you to begin making new traditions of your own, and if doing a little travelling is something you believe you would enjoy, then go for it.

Depending on their situations, you might even consider sharing your plans with your siblings to see if any of them might want to join you in your destination holiday.