Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Whenever my mom comes to visit my apartment, she makes jokes about my being Felix to my roommate’s Oscar. The problem is, I no longer find the joke funny. My roommate is a sweetheart, but he just can’t keep his mess to himself. This is beyond ignoring all the coasters I put out and hints I drop about cleaning up after himself. It’s getting Board of Health time, you know what I mean? What do I do to wake this boy up? --- OK, SO I AM A FELIX

DEAR OK: It’s time you lay down the law. Either he cleans up after himself or he’s got to get someone in to do his share of the housework. If you start taking care of his messes, you’ll only enable him and possibly begin to resent him ─ not to mention he needs to be held responsible for his part in keeping your home livable for you both.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every year my wife and I agree to not spend more than $100 on each other for Christmas, and instead put some money towards something we need for the house our maybe a better vacation.

Last year, like she has done for the other of the six years we have been married, my wife went overboard and spent way more than what we agreed on. Her overspending makes me angry because we could use that money for something we both could enjoy, and it makes me look like a cheapskate. What can I do to make her keep in budget? --- FRUGAL, NOT CHEAP

DEAR FRUGAL, NOT CHEAP: I don’t think staying within an agreed upon budget makes you a cheapskate. But you need to make it clear to your wife that that’s how her ignoring the limit makes you feel.

It might help if you can more specifically focus her spending. Set up a savings account for a particular home improvement or designated dream vacation and let her know her best gift to you would be to make that fund grow so you can both enjoy her generosity.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I split up four years ago after a very short marriage. We were together in high school and since neither of us was planning on going to college, we decided to get a start on life right after graduating. It was a pretty amicable divorce, and we still run into each other from time to time.

Last week I received an invitation to his upcoming wedding. I’m happy he has found someone, but I feel awkward about attending his wedding. It isn’t like we have stayed close, even though our families stay in touch. Do I go or not? --- THE EX WITH THE INVITE

DEAR EX WITH THE INVITE: Since the couple extended the invitation, I’m guessing the awkwardness is all on your part. If you can’t see it being a comfortable situation for yourself, then you’re probably better sending your apologies and maybe a gift as a proof you really do wish your ex well.