DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am a 17-year-old girl. I like to think that I am pretty well-rounded. I know that I am very mature for my age.

I’ve been homeschooled since I was in 4th grade so I haven’t been exposed to as much as other people my age have. It’s allowed me to do big things. I have a job, one that most people my age would not have. I pay for my own car insurance, all of my own vehicle upkeep, and I also help my family out financially if I am able.

My problem is my friends! I am the only virgin in my friend group. They will say things to me such as, “You’re still a kid because you haven’t had sex.” They will tell me that I am not a woman yet and that I’m “cute” for caring about my virginity. Even my little sister has had sex.

I don’t know why I let it bother me, knowing that my boyfriend doesn’t care about having sex with me!

These girls don’t have a job, they are having sex at school, and they are bashing me. I am definitely not one to judge but I don’t like being discriminated against for being a virgin, and I don’t see how having sex would make me a woman, am I wrong?

Being homeschooled it’s hard for me to make friends, so I don’t want to lose the ones I have, but I don’t know how to make it stop. I’ve mentioned to them that it hurts my feelings and they say that I should just get it over with so that they’ll stop. Should I just give in or do I stand my ground? I’m about ready to just say screw it and get it over with. I used to think it was something big to lose but, I don’t know anymore. --- JUST NOT SURE ANYMORE

DEAR JUST NOT SURE ANYMORE: No, you’re not wrong. Having sex doesn’t make you a woman, and I would bet at least some of your friends are a lot less experienced than they’re trying to make you believe. I’m also guessing those of your friends not being homeschooled are making claims of in-school encounters because you have no way of verifying what goes on during their school day.

Your first time should be because you’re ready, not because you’re being bullied into it. Your boyfriend isn’t pressuring you, and if you’re comfortable with waiting, don’t be influenced by those calling themselves your friends. There’s much to be said for waiting until you’ve had time to not just grow, but to mature, and it sounds like you’re already finding ways to be grown-up without risking teen pregnancy, STDs, and low self-esteem issues, which may be what your “friends” are setting themselves up for, if they are indeed doing everything they’re boasting about.

Be true to yourself, and make your own choices about how to live your life.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandmother moved into an assisted living place last December. Whenever I go to visit her, she is usually hanging out with one guy, and the staff tells me, like it is cute or something, that they are always together. I don’t want this guy taking advantage of my grandma. She never did any of the financial stuff when my grandfather was alive, and I just have a feeling this guy is out for her money. My grandmother is nearly 80 and has a little dementia, so why shouldn’t I worry? --- CONCERNED GRANDDAUGHTER

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDDAUGHTER: One of the main reasons people move into assisted living communities is so they’ll have some companionship. It sounds like your grandmother has found that, and other than the fact that she spends time with her new friend, you don’t mention if there’s been anything you’ve observed to support your concerns. If you have, you need to raise them with your parents, if they’re in the picture. If not, you can approach an administrator at the center and tell him or her what you’ve seen.

Take care though, because if you raise a false alarm, it might adversely affect your grandmother’s comfort and happiness ─ and that of her friend.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I met a girl who works in a store near my army post. She is smart and hard-working. We are far from serious right now, but my mom is sure this girl is only out to snag a soldier so she can live the good life. Every time we talk we end up fighting when she starts with her, “So, how’s the little dependa?”

I hate that she tries to make me feel bad about the girl I like, especially since she is anything but a dependa in the making. She plans to go on to earn a bachelor’s in the fall to be a teacher, after she finishes her AA degree this spring. Does that sound like someone who just wants to take advantage of a uniform to you? --- SHE’S NO DEPENDA

DEAR SHE’S NO DEPENDA: Although she’s probably not going about it the right way, your mom may truly be concerned about your being a target for someone looking for military spouse status. It does happen, and it’s wise for you to be on your guard.

That said, this girl sounds like she has ambitions beyond relying on someone else to provide for her, and that’s good news for everyone. Stress this to your mom the next time she pushes your buttons about the girl.

If that doesn’t shut the criticism down, either divert the conversation to other topics, or cut back on your calls until the dust settles a bit. If you do get serious with the girl, your mom will have to get over it or jeopardize her relationship with you.