Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our oldest son got married earlier this year and our middle child moved to his own apartment. We still have our youngest, a high school senior, living with us.

I’m about to start writing out Christmas cards (yes, we still send them out!) and I’m stumped as to how I should sign the cards. I used to put everyone’s names on them, and have the kids sign the cards to the closest relatives, like their grandparents and aunts and uncles.

I have no idea if the two older boys are going to send out cards, but I don’t want to have it look like they’re not part of the family. It’s a small thing I know, but how do you think I should sign the cards this year? --- CURIOUS CARD SENDER

DEAR CURIOUS CARD SENDER: If you think it would look odd to have just your and your still at-home child’s names on the card, why not go with the trusty, generic “The _______ Family” or simply “The _________s”? It covers everyone, and takes less time to write.

As to cards for the close, older relatives, hopefully your flown-the-coop kids will think to send their own. Electronic/social media greetings are one thing for friends and more distant relatives, but when it comes to close, older family members, who may not be computer savvy, the good old-fashioned variety greeting card still means something.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I love most of everything to do with Christmas, except one thing. Since I was a little kid, I have had a fear of those mall Santas that my mom would always take us to see and get a picture sitting on his lap.

Now I have a two-year old and my mother keeps bugging me about when I’m taking him to see Santa at the mall, but I just can’t do it.

Is that being unfair to my son? I’m good with skipping the visit. --- HATE MALL SANTAS

DEAR HATE MALL SANTAS: I know at least one other adult who, like you, not only cringes at mall Santas, but also Easter Bunnies and other larger than life costumed characters.

Why not suggest your mom take your son to visit Santa at the mall? It could become her special tradition, and you could use the time to get some shopping done or enjoy a steaming hot cup of cocoa in the food court.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I think my mom is gorgeous. She takes really good care of herself and doesn’t look her age at all. At least she didn’t until her new boyfriend got her into going to tanning salons. It’s going to destroy her skin and honestly, I think it looks fake, even though it isn’t.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings, so I’ve hinted that maybe this tanning isn’t such a good thing for her. But since it’s what her boyfriend likes, she thinks it’s fine.

Am I wrong in not wanting my mother to have problems from all this tanning? --- PALE AND LOVING IT

DEAR PALE AND LOVING IT: I don’t think you need to pussyfoot around the subject of how potentially dangerous too much tanning is. Just sit your mother down and show her a few images of what skin cancer looks like. If that risk doesn’t scare her, remind her that wrinkles are another sad side effect of UV exposure.