DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve done my share of diets, and know some work better than others.

Right now our oldest daughter is on a diet plan that seems a little extreme. Okay, more than a little extreme. She is probably taking in less than 1000 calories a day and then going to the gym at least four times a week for what even she describes as a grueling workout.

Her father, her husband, and I have all spoken to her about our fears that this is too extreme, especially since she is far from overweight. I want her to consult with a doctor and/or a nutritionist to make sure she is not killing herself, literally. Am I the wrong one here? --- MOTHER OF AN EXTREME DIETER

DEAR MOTHER OF AN EXTREME DIETER: Every few months, the world’s newest, greatest diet grabs headlines and followers. The vast majority of these programs can’t prove their worth and soon fade away. There are, however, a handful of tried and true programs, some which go back decades and have a proven track record.

Perhaps you, your son-in-law, and your daughter’s father should do some research, and then together, approach your daughter with both your concerns and some alternate programs for her to consider.

I also think your idea of having her get some professional and objective advice is a good one.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every year my mother puts pressure on me to buy something for my great-grandma. At 92 she is still in pretty good shape, but I never have any idea what to get her for her birthday. She has everything she needs and as far as I know, never asks for anything in particular.

What do you get the older person who has everything? --- STUMPED SHOPPER

DEAR STUMPED SHOPPER: Don’t feel bad. I know many much younger people who are hard to shop for.

In this case, rather than buying her something, if your great-grandmother is able to get out and about, consider taking her somewhere that would be a treat for her. Gift her with a nicely presented IOU for a meal at a favorite restaurant, a movie, a sight-seeing ride, a day chauffeuring her around on errands. If she isn’t able or inclined to leave home, give her the promise —and keep it — of doing something for her or with her at her place such as helping with housekeeping chores that are no longer easy for her, playing a few rounds of her favorite card game, organizing old photos.

It’s the gift of time that’s often the most difficult to give, and also the most treasured.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My friend and neighbor has started acting really weird the past couple of months. He doesn’t want to go out with me or any of his other friends, not even to a movie or for a quick meal. Since he lives in the apartment directly over mine, my roommate and I have both heard what sounds like furniture being moved around, sometimes really late at night. We keep asking him if he’s okay, and he keeps telling us he’s fine, but then he starts talking about all the strange things happening at his job, like that the boss keeps spying on him and his coworkers ignore him whenever he comes into the breakroom. He’s been at this job for three years, and he’s never before said anything like this was happening.

I know something is wrong, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. I’ve known this guy for nearly seven years, and I’ve never known him to act this way. What can I do to get him to consider seeking help if he needs it? --- NERVOUS FRIEND

DEAR NERVOUS FRIEND: Withdrawing from friends and odd sleep patterns, as indicated by his late-night furniture moving, are concerning enough. It’s possible there really are some new issues at work, but what you mentioned sounds paranoid to me.

It’s clear you care about your friend, and you may need to be willing to put your friendship on the line for his wellbeing, if you truly believe something’s wrong. Approach him with your concerns and make it clear to him you’re around if he needs anything. Letting him know someone’s looking out for him might help.

Reaching out to his family, if you have contact information for them or can get it, would be another possible way to get him what he needs if he’s not well.

Your friend may need professional services, sooner rather than later if his behavior gets more out of what’s ordinary for him.