DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Whenever my mother comes for a visit she starts cleaning and it drives my wife bats--t. I really believe Mom only wants to help, and tries to do the kind of cleaning it’s hard for me and my wife to get to between work, taking classes, and two toddlers.

I have no problem with Mom helping out, and if I say anything like that to my wife, she thinks I’m siding with my mother in judging her housekeeping. My wife is one of the least lazy people I know, and I always tell her that, but once Mom’s around, it doesn’t matter what I say.

I feel caught in the middle and like it’s up to me to make peace before Mom’s next visit. Who do I work with more to make this happen, my mother or my wife? --- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: A word with both women might be your best bet.

You could remind your wife that your mother is truly just trying to help, not judge. Experienced parents usually recall how hard it was when their kids were little, and they were trying to stay on top of busy lives.

With your mother, perhaps you could let her know how your wife feels, and that the better approach might be for her to ask your wife what she’d like tackled on a particular visit. If the answer is not a thing, then encourage Mom to make the most of being with her grandkids and the rest of the family and leave the housework to you and your wife.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I used some of the time I’ve been stuck in lockdown to really rework my diet and exercise plans. In just over three months, I lost nearly 35 lbs. and have toned up quite a lot. Now, the same guys who spurned me at work and on dating apps are now reaching out to me.

It makes me a little ill, thinking that while I’m the same person inside I always was, it didn’t count until I looked better in an on-line profile picture. I know it’s human nature, and all that, but do I give any of these guys a chance? --- SAME OLD ME UNDERNEATH

DEAR SAME OLD ME UNDERNEATH: Shallow is as shallow does.

If you’re hoping to find someone interested in more than your exterior, then you might want to look for romance off-line and away from the office. Although it’s more complicated than usual these days, the old-fashioned ways of meeting people through friends or common interests may be better bets.

In the meantime, take pride and pleasure in your recent accomplishments. So many have lost ground physically since last spring. Well done, you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My Grandpa told me that despite his being nearly 80, he still plans to make his annual visit to his hometown later this year. I know he knows what’s going on these days, and he still doesn’t care. Right now, he plans to fly, but I’m trying to convince him that since my classes are all on-line, I can go with him if he is willing to make it a road trip.

This has been a tough year for him. Not only has he had to spend most of it stuck in his house, but he lost two of his best friends, which I know is making him feel even more strongly about seeing the old friends he still has left in his hometown.

Every time I make my offer to go with him, he gets upset and thinks I’m treating him like a little kid. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I see this as a chance to spend some time with him, especially while he is so down.

What can I do to convince him my traveling with him is a good thing? --- READY FOR A ROAD TRIP

DEAR READY FOR A ROAD TRIP: I think your going along with him is a terrific idea, especially if you’ve had more experience in how things are done — or at least should be done — during the current pandemic.

Perhaps you ought to let your grandfather know how much you too need the morale-boosting change of scene that goes along with even a short road trip. Then, pack a good supply of masks, hand sanitizer, and if you can find or improvise any, disinfectant sprays or wipes.

You also might want to get up to speed on what health and safety measures are in place where you’ll be heading. It’s possible that retirement or nursing centers could still be limiting their residents’ exposure to those outside the building, and if any of your grandfather’s friends are living in one, he may not have the visit he’s hoping for.