DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Like most of the rest of my family, I have what are called perennial allergies, meaning at any time of the year and in a whole lot of different settings, I can start to sneeze or cough. Of course, these days, this is not a good thing, and although I am always masked when out in public and sneeze or cough into my elbow (not always too pleasant with a mask on), I still get dirty looks and have had some people say really rude things to me about not caring about the health of others. When I explain it’s only allergies, they sometimes back off, but far from always.

It’s gotten to the point where if I start to feel a reaction coming on, I drop whatever I’m doing and get out to my car, or don’t even bother leaving the house, which sometimes means I don’t get to a grocery store or the pharmacy, which I sometimes really need to get to to pick up things for my dad and his roommate, neither of who are supposed to be going out and around.

Is it even worth defending myself? --- NOT FREE TO SNEEZE

DEAR NOT FREE TO SNEEZE: I truly feel for you, since I too come from a family of year-round allergy-sufferers.

Since it really isn’t always practical or necessary to remain locked away, if you need to get out to run errands, especially for those who are more vulnerable than you, I think the best you can do is to continue to excuse your allergies, and just accept you’ll be doubted. You can’t change people’s mindsets, but you can, and should, get on with your life so long as you are healthy and can do so safely.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My friends are always telling me some guy, or another is flirting with me, but I truly think they’re just being friendly. I think I’m decent-looking, but certainly not a guy magnet.

I work in the front office of a large car dealership, and there is no shortage of mechanics and salesmen, who some of my officemates definitely flirt with. I can tell that easily enough. But I do not get the sense they are making moves on me.

Is there something wrong with me that I can’t see what other people seem to see? --- NO FLIRT

DEAR NO FLIRT: I’ve known people who think everyone’s flirting with them, and others, like you, who haven’t a clue when they really are being flirted with.

Consider yourself lucky to fall into the second category. Rather than always being on the lookout for a guy, you’re likely good at dealing with men on a wider variety of levels than someone solely focused on a romantic or sexual connection.

As a result, you may find you’re the kind of person who can have real friendships with both men and women, and I think that’s a good thing. If any of the friendships take a romantic turn, at least you’ll have had an opportunity to build a solid relationship first, based on more than just physical attraction.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My father wasn’t an easy man to get along with — at least if you were related to him. He had a bad temper and a short fuse, and almost no filters at all. Yet when he died, all my sisters and I heard about was what a great guy he was, rock of the community and all that. We couldn’t believe they were talking about the same man we knew, and instead of being the comfort other people meant it to be, it just hurt us to know that there was some other guy out there who never showed this incredible side to us.

I am trying to get over this, but am not sure I can. I know you’re supposed to forgive the dead and everything, but the life we and my mom lived with my father was sometimes hard to forgive or forget.

Am I holding a now petty grudge? --- WHO WAS THIS MAN?

DEAR WHO WAS THIS MAN?: The longer you live, the more you’ll realize a completely consistent person is a rare find. Most of us have separate expectations from those closest to us than we have for the people outside our tightest circle. We also tend to develop a variety of personalities to deal with the wide range of situations we face throughout our lives. Your sisters and you may do the same thing without even realizing it, and it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Different circumstances call for different responses.

Hopefully, in time you’ll learn to forgive your dad for the man he was at home. In his mind, he may have been doing the best he could, and his lasting lesson to you and your sisters may be to remember to save at least some of the best of yourselves for those you love most.