DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My father is a locally known playwright. He and my mom have been married nearly 30 years, and I know she’s put up with a lot of s##t from him, including his having had an affair about 10 years ago, when I was still living at home. It was a hellish time, but they went to counselling and decided to stay together.

At the time of the affair, my dad wrote a play about a philanderer, which he claimed he based on an old college friend of his. My mom and I continue to not buy this, and believe it was inspired byss the affair he was having.

Last month, my father showed me a draft of a play he’s currently working on getting produced. Guess what the theme is? It’s about a man having a mid-life crisis affair with a coworker. He tells me it has nothing to do with his life, but is just inspired by what he’s seen going on around him. I don’t believe it for a minute. I asked if he’s let my mother see the play yet, and he said of course he had, since she’s always been his primary editor.

I am so uneasy about this and don’t know if I should say something to my mother. What do you think? --- IS HE AT IT AGAIN?

DEAR IS HE AT IT AGAIN?: I can certainly see why you may have cause to be suspicious, but unless you have any concrete evidence your father is having another affair, I don’t see what good it would do to share your worries with your mother at this time. She’s seen the draft and knows both its subject matter and your dad’s history. He’s her husband and their marriage is their business.

That said, I’d keep an eye open for any further developments that might justify your concerns — especially to be of use to your mom, should the need arise.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am married to a germaphobe. As you can imagine, living through a pandemic has been a challenge.

Now life’s getting even more interesting because our lease is about to expire, and we decided it’s time to find a house of our own. The market is wide open in our area, and the deals are there for our price range.

What’s proving difficult is my husband’s trouble entering and exploring different homes. Our realtor has been awesome trying to prescreen places that are clean and tidy, but that only goes so far.

I really want my husband to be part of the process, but he keeps saying I should look at everything and then only make him go to no more than two “finalists” as he calls them. Even then, he’s already told me he will only enter them in PPE, and even then, I know it’ll be torture for him.

I hate feeling like most of the decision-making for our future home is on me. Is it worth it to try to get him to more places, or just let it go? --- FEELING THE PRESSURE

DEAR FEELING THE PRESSURE: You know your husband best, and if he’s made it clear he’s not comfortable going into a lot of different, unfamiliar homes, it seems like you need to honor that. What would be gained by dragging him along, especially since the photos posted on most realty websites give some idea of available properties? Beyond those, when you visit them you can take your own, more detailed shots and videos of houses that you feel would be of particular interest to your husband. That way you can work together at home to choose the finalists.

If it’s any consolation, I’ve known other spouses who have had to do at least the preliminary house hunting on their own due to a variety of different circumstances. I’ve yet to hear that they picked poorly.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our son is getting married early next spring. He and his fiancée are hopeful that they will be able to have the 150 guests their venue can accommodate.

Being worrying types, both I and the mother of the bride have spoken to the couple to encourage them to have two guest lists in mind, just in case there are still capacity restrictions a year from now.

Both mothers are trying to impress upon our children that there are people who fall into the must-have, or at least must- invite category. We strongly believe that aunts and uncles belong on that list, but that isn’t how the bride and groom see it. They see it as their day, and if only 75 people can be there, they want it to be their friends and close coworkers, rather than closer blood relations.

The cost of the wedding is being split equally three ways between both families and the couple, so we parents feel we have the right to have a say in the guest list. We understand it’s their day, but it’s also a celebration we want to share with those we love too. Who’s right here? --- WANT A FAIR SHARE

DEAR WANT A FAIR SHARE: If the costs are being divvied up evenly, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to also divvy up the allotted spots on the guest list(s). I get the couple wanting to invite coworkers they see every day, versus aunts and uncles who they may have less direct contact with throughout a normal year. But there can be separate celebrations held pre- or post-wedding with coworkers and less close friends, who hopefully understand that as much as the bride and groom would like them to be at their wedding, it isn’t always possible to accommodate everyone, especially if come the big day, space is more than usually limited.

It may not be palatable to everyone, but this is a case where you may need not only an A and B list, but also a C level one.