DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve known for a long time that my wife had at least one serious relationship before ours, but at our rehearsal dinner, her dad mentioned something about her previous fiancé. This was big news to me that she had been engaged before, but given everything going on at the time, I had to put it to the back of my mind.

After we were done with all the wedding stuff, I had time to try and figure out why this little detail was never shared with me. I don’t care that my wife was engaged before. I do mind that she never felt the need to tell me.

So far, I haven’t said anything to her. But now the more I think about it, the more I think I have to clear the air. Do you agree? --- THE SECOND FIANCÉ

DEAR THE SECOND FIANCÉ: It’s obvious this is becoming an important issue to you, and one you need to deal with so you can move forward in your marriage. My advice is that if you decide to broach the subject, think long and hard about how you do it. Communication is key to any lasting marriage, but so is respecting your partner’s feelings and privacy.

While I can see why you’re upset, your wife’s life before you were in it is her business. Have you shared with her every aspect of your past before you and she were a couple? Besides, she may have good reasons for not wanting to revisit the details of her earlier engagement.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter had her pick of five schools. Of course, she’s opting to go to the one with the biggest reputation as a party school. We have told her we think this isn’t her best choice, but she comes back with how good the program is she’s going to be in, and that it isn’t as far from home as the other potential choices were.

She worked hard all through high school, and especially hard during these last couple of crazy years. She has always been a serious student and mostly a homebody by choice. We’re concerned she will hate being somewhere where she’ll be the oddball because she isn’t a partier. Our other fear is that she’ll change and become one of those kids who are at the school for the social, not the academic life.

What do we do to prepare our daughter for what she’s walking into in a couple of months? --- PARENTS OF A SERIOUS STUDENT

DEAR PARENTS OF A SERIOUS STUDENT: This is going to be a learning experience for you all. Your daughter will find her own path, even though it may not be the ideal one to a parent’s way of thinking.

Many kids go to “party schools” and succeed academically. They’re the kids who usually find like-minded friends, who make their own social life. And yes, there are the kids who go a little nuts with their first taste of freedom. That doesn’t mean they’re on the road to self-destruction. It’s just a part of growing up. I’ve known plenty of folks from both my own and more recent generations who’ve naturally soured on the wilder life without suffering any permanent damage.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I met “Sarah” while at university. We lost touch for a few years, but then reconnected at a gallery in a part of town I usually don’t frequent. We seemed to hit if off, and started meeting up more and more often. While I can’t claim we’re best friends, I thought we were developing a lovely friendship.

Last week Sarah posted a shot of me dancing with my boyfriend at a wedding. I’d sent it to her because she asked to see a picture of my dress. The entire post was dedicated to speculating on how such a cow could snag such a hot boyfriend.

When I confronted her about it, she laughed it off, saying it was just her idea of an ironic little joke, that plainly she wouldn’t say anything to intentionally hurt my feelings, and so on.

I’m not one to hold a grudge or to be overly sensitive, but this feels like anything but a joke to me. Am I wrong, or is Sarah? --- TOO SENSITIVE?

DEAR TOO SENSITIVE?: My personal policy is to at least try to give someone the benefit of the doubt. It may be as Sarah claims, that she was going for tongue-in-cheek.

If you see value in what’s been a growing friendship with Sarah, then it might be worth letting this go and taking her at her word. If, however, you’re aware that she has a mean or jealous streak, and that this is just the first taste of behavior you’re not comfortable with, then perhaps it would be wiser to back off and not pursue the relationship any further, at least not at this time.